Tryout rejection fallout

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With the '13 season's practices getting set to start my DD says to me yesterday...." I can't wait 'til we play teams X and Y next year."

As a father you are always trying to figure out how to get your kids to play at their best. Getting passed over at a tryout will do it. I now can't wait 'til we play teams X and Y next year.

btw....She made the team that was her first choice but it still doesn't seem to matter.

 

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I think every kid or parent has their list of teams/girls that they would like to beat. If nothing else, great motivation.

 

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I often thought that "chip on the shoulder" would do my DD some good. It's not her nature to make it personal.

 

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With the '13 season's practices getting set to start my DD says to me yesterday...." I can't wait 'til we play teams X and Y next year."

Sure makes it great doesn't it? Sometimes you get 'em, sometimes they get you, but it sure is fun and exciting to watch. Been through the same with my DD due to either depth chart issues with a former team or being passed over at tryouts. She's a P, which makes it that much more exciting and fun to watch for me.

The depth-chart situation will be forever memorable because many members of her HS team were on her "former" team. They actually applauded the first time she took the mound against them...

I sure love girls softball!

 

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Congrats on your DD making her 1st choice.

But, did you ever think that maybe Teams X & Y were not in need of your DD's particular strengths ? I think sometimes just because the coaches aren't looking for our DD's particular strengths that we get the impression that they didn't think she was "good enough" to play for them. Not always the case. Example: If a team already has 4 lefty slappers with a 2.7 home to first, they may be looking for power not speed.

Just some food for thought.

Good luck to you and your DD and I hope you get the outcome your looking for with Team X & Y.

 

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It's pretty natural for players (and maybe even more so their parents?) to want to beat teams they didn't make or that beat them in the past. Coaches certainly have teams they like to beat more than others for various reasons as well ... if you're competitive, that's just going to happen. As a coach, when my team has been beat by someone I know who had to have really wanted to do that for whatever reason (e.g., we didn't offer them a spot), I make it a point to take the high road and personally congratulate them.

The funniest example I ever had of that was when I was at a church festival playing a game of Texas hold 'em, and a girl who had played for me in high school a few years prior was placed at my table. I knew I wasn't her favorite because she never got as much playing time as she wanted. And guess who knocked me out of that poker game?! I had to smile as she tried to contain her satisfaction after ... I congratulated her and wished her luck in the rest of the tourney.

 

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Congrats on your DD making her 1st choice.

But, did you ever think that maybe Teams X & Y were not in need of your DD's particular strengths ? I think sometimes just because the coaches aren't looking for our DD's particular strengths that we get the impression that they didn't think she was "good enough" to play for them. Not always the case. Example: If a team already has 4 lefty slappers with a 2.7 home to first, they may be looking for power not speed.

Just some food for thought.

Good luck to you and your DD and I hope you get the outcome your looking for with Team X & Y.

I have to agree with Gopher. I've passed on some really good payers because I wasn't looking for their position or their particular skill set. I've had players pass on my offers due to a million different reasons, it happens. Coaches are trying to put together the best teams they can and players are trying to get on the best teams they can. It isn't personal and those who take it personally are only going to make themselves miserable.

 

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It's pretty natural for players (and maybe even more so their parents?) to want to beat teams they didn't make or that beat them in the past. Coaches certainly have teams they like to beat more than others for various reasons as well ... if you're competitive, that's just going to happen. As a coach, when my team has been beat by someone I know who had to have really wanted to do that for whatever reason (e.g., we didn't offer them a spot), I make it a point to take the high road and personally congratulate them.

The funniest example I ever had of that was when I was at a church festival playing a game of Texas hold 'em, and a girl who had played for me in high school a few years prior was placed at my table. I knew I wasn't her favorite because she never got as much playing time as she wanted. And guess who knocked me out of that poker game?! I had to smile as she tried to contain her satisfaction after ... I congratulated her and wished her luck in the rest of the tourney.

I had an experience in rec. years ago where several coaches including myself didn't feel a young lady was ready to pitch a game yet. The next season the family played for another team. During a game against her new team, an errant throw from the same young lady, now pitching, came buzzing my head in the coaches box. Her mother yelled, laughing from the backstop, "That was for you!" I've always wondered.

 

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BTW.....Teams X and Y both still looking for pitcher and middle infielder.

 

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With the '13 season's practices getting set to start my DD says to me yesterday...." I can't wait 'til we play teams X and Y next year."

As a father you are always trying to figure out how to get your kids to play at their best. Getting passed over at a tryout will do it. I now can't wait 'til we play teams X and Y next year.

btw....She made the team that was her first choice but it still doesn't seem to matter.

My dd doesn't have to wait that long, hopefully! Her team is in a fall tournament with one of those teams!! LOL

 

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My DD failed to make her local travel team for the 2012 season. She was devastated. However, she got serious and worked her butt off. Took pitching lessons, practiced every day possible, learned more about the game. She even played rec this year and played hard. When it came time for tryouts again for the 2013, we tried out for the same team (and some tournament teams). She made it on the first tournament team she tried out for and she was thrilled. So while she was upset about not making her travel team (that all her friends were on) last year, I owe that coach a lot for cutting her. She earned her spot on the tournament team and probably wouldn't have gotten to this level had she made the travel team. Of course if we do play them in any tournaments or anything, she will still want to beat them! lol

 

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From experience, the Coach from the team that passed your dd won't recognize your dd as someone that came to their tryouts.
At 11u, my oldest tried out as a pitcher and never got a call (offer) from team X.
the following summer, she pitched against Team X and after the game, the Coach from Team X told her she should come to their tryouts in the fall.
Before i could say a word, she told the Coach i already tried out for your team and you guys didn't want me (my eyes about popped out of my head when she said this).
The coach looked puzzled and told her well i'm sorry about that but you definetly should come this fall. She did, that was 4 years ago and still plays with that team to this day (although not a pitcher anymore)

 

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From experience, the Coach from the team that passed your dd won't recognize your dd as someone that came to their tryouts.

That doesn't matter, imho. It's ok for the occasion to be big for your DD and indistinguishable for her opponents.

Before i could say a word, she told the Coach i already tried out for your team and you guys didn't want me (my eyes about popped out of my head when she said this).

Love it! She sounds like a tiger!

 

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That's great as long as its the kid that wants to play against teams that passed her over, when it's the parents generally no good comes from that. Revenge is a very good short term motivator but the players that excel over the long term and into college that motivation comes from within, some just want to be the best some just hate losing but very few got there from being passed over by a team. If it takes getting passed over or cut to get them to start working harder on their game and to start competing, in my experience that motivation is short lived lol.

 

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That's great as long as its the kid that wants to play against teams that passed her over, when it's the parents generally no good comes from that. Revenge is a very good short term motivator but the players that excel over the long term and into college that motivation comes from within, some just want to be the best some just hate losing but very few got there from being passed over by a team. If it takes getting passed over or cut to get them to start working harder on their game and to start competing, in my experience that motivation is short lived lol.

lol?? whatever dude.

 

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That's great as long as its the kid that wants to play against teams that passed her over, when it's the parents generally no good comes from that.

I agree there.

There's a big difference between this situation being a primary motivator for the player or something to simply get a bit more pumped up about. To me, watching them dig down just a little deeper on occasion doesn't detract from the heart they show every day. Lots of good can come out of it.

Another similar example my dd has had: At pitching lessons we are frequently scheduled right before or after another girl of the same age on a different team. The two are very similar in skill, work ethic, and love for the sport. PI loves both of them and they generally consider themselves friends. On a couple rare occasions, they squared off against each other as starting pitchers. Both games ended 2-1 in extra innings international tie-breaker. Both pitchers pitched the entire game. She won one and lost one.

Both girls were absolutely more pumped up to face one another. And it was all good.

 

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Congrats on your DD making her 1st choice.

But, did you ever think that maybe Teams X & Y were not in need of your DD's particular strengths ? I think sometimes just because the coaches aren't looking for our DD's particular strengths that we get the impression that they didn't think she was "good enough" to play for them. Not always the case. Example: If a team already has 4 lefty slappers with a 2.7 home to first, they may be looking for power not speed.

Just some food for thought.

Good luck to you and your DD and I hope you get the outcome your looking for with Team X & Y.

What? I would take an entire TEAM full of good lefty slappers with legit 2.7 speed!!

 

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One of the most difficult things to do is to pass on a Girl that shows up to every tryout and gives it her all. Two Girls immediately come to mind from this past tryout season. We just could not make the numbers work out. I am sure we will run into these young Ladies next season and I truly hope they do well.

Frustrated by the overall tryout process, I once had a Parent ask me if attending every tryout was viewed negatively by all Coaches. Apparently she overheard a Coach from another Org speaking negatively of a Girl, because she attended every tryout. In other words, it's o.k. to want something, but don't try too hard to achieve it, because you may appear desperate. Someone has to explain this to me. A Girl reeeeeeeeally wants to be on your Team.....and that's a bad thing? I simply said that all things being equal, I choose the Girl that wants to be part of what we are trying to do. I choose the Girl that is willing to put in the time and effort to succeed. I also told her that I really hope she misheard, because if not.....what the heck are you teaching over there?

 

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What? I would take an entire TEAM full of good lefty slappers with legit 2.7 speed!!

I thought the same thing when I read this....although.... I will take power, I wouldnt NOT take a girl because she is a lefty slapper with less than 3.0 speed.... if all of the rest of her skills were present.

 

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some just want to be the best some just hate losing but very few got there from being passed over by a team. If it takes getting passed over or cut to get them to start working harder on their game and to start competing, in my experience that motivation is short lived lol.

Michael Jordan sound familiar???? believe he was cut as well...seems he wasnt short term... Cant say his work ethic prior to High School but your statement isnt 100% accurate

Different sport same motivation....