Was i wrong?

[Stupid Jim]

After reading a couple of posts on here, I read that people thought it wrong to go to a tryout that we had no intention to be a part of that organization.
My dd's team was going to be dissolved at the end of the season, we knew this. So we did our home work, stayed late at tournaments and scouted teams and coaches. She made a list of teams that she liked, and after our research she numbered them in order that she wanted to play for.
Now she went into a slump towards the end of the season, could not hit a thing, even at the batting cages. She came out of it at the last tournament, but was still a little down on her self. I made her try out for a very large and well known organization not with the intent of being on that team, but rather to show her that she can compete with the girls at that talent level. We never spoke with the coach, and didn't stick around after the tryout. It did seem to boost her confidence a little.
The first week of tryout's, she had tryout's for three different teams, and got offers at all three, and one of them happened to be her number one team, she accepted and now seems to be happy.
I was under the assumption that tryouts were open to the public, but after reading some posts. I think that some will believe that I wasted some of the coaches time, this was not my intent. I would like to hear from coaches about this, to get there point of view.

 

[coop24]

Opinions are like a$$hol$s, everyone has one. So, if this is what you need to do, then it is not wrong.

 

[daboss]

I do not see this scenerio as a person that was wasting everyone's time. Your clear intent was to find a new team. You needed to atend the tryouts to do this. The ones that get under a coaching staff's skin are the players that already have a team and no intention of changing. Perhaps, and in most cases, they already have committed. Others are tryout junkies that jump from show to show as if it were a sport in itself. Coaches get frustrated because they catch themselves watching a certain player the entire tryout, only to find out she already has a team but thanks anyways. I blame the coaches as much as I blame the players. Good coaches should be evaluating all the girls and placing them in order of skill for positions open.

 

[JoeA1010]

I think as a former organization head, I would have appreciated someone who had no intention of taking a roster spot to contact me with that information before the tryout. I probably would have said to go ahead and come, but then my coaches could have known beforehand not to spend time evaluating the girl (other than what anyone watching could not help but to see).

 

[TClarkson]

Tryouts are open to any player and you as a parent need to make sure your daughter is able to get on a team, because it's never guaranteed. I heard many kids that went to a top org to see if they can compete with the intent on not planning on joining because they probably didn't feel they would be picked up only to be asked to join. So there is no harm in trying IMHO

 

[Longtoss1]

You did absolutely nothing wrong. If the goal is to find a new team then having your daughter make a list and then going to those tryouts was the right thing to do. And if she needed a little confidence going into the tryouts and that is the reason you took her to that other one then so be it. I am sure that there were many girls at that tryout so I don't see it as an issue and if I was the coach I would not have a problem with it.

 

[spartansd]

Our club has very well attended tryouts. At 16U we will often get 100+ girls.

So when we see a player that we know or is very good we will call them over and have this discussion:

- How you doing today?........So we have to ask why are you here? Are you just looking to get in a workout or are you looking to make a team? And typically we get about 50% saying that they are just here to get in a workout. If they are just there to workout we typically comment that they are doing great and to keep up the good work. Or we may give them a little sell to see how solid they are with there current team.

It is not a very big deal to our club. We take it with a grain of salt.

 

[Louuuuu]

Opinions are like a$$hol$s, everyone has one.

"... and they all stink" is the version I use.

 

[BulldawgsDirector]

My opinion as a coach that's been doing this for a decade... you did nothing wrong. As a coach, if I have the right not to offer a player that tries out, than the player certainly has the right to not accept an offer. Coaches should be looking out for what is best for their TEAM, parents should be looking out for what is best for their DAUGHTER, when their is a discrepancy between those parties, either way, right or wrong, then decisions have to made both ways. Accept the decision from the other party and move on without taking it personal.

 

[Coach_Dave]

Even though you had no intentions of playing on that Team, your DD had yet to commit to any Team. Who knows, she could have gone to that tryout and fallen in love with the opportunity. I'm not a big fan of attending a tryout after already accepting a spot on another Team. IMHO it is disrespectful to your DD's new team. If your DD is offered and you still plan on going to another tryout, be upfront with the Coach and ask it they could hold the position until after you attend the other tryout.

 

[LimaBuckeye]

You handled the tryout process perfectly. There is absolutely no need to think otherwise.

After reading a couple of posts on here, I read that people thought it wrong to go to a tryout that we had no intention to be a part of that organization.
My dd's team was going to be dissolved at the end of the season, we knew this. So we did our home work, stayed late at tournaments and scouted teams and coaches. She made a list of teams that she liked, and after our research she numbered them in order that she wanted to play for.
Now she went into a slump towards the end of the season, could not hit a thing, even at the batting cages. She came out of it at the last tournament, but was still a little down on her self. I made her try out for a very large and well known organization not with the intent of being on that team, but rather to show her that she can compete with the girls at that talent level. We never spoke with the coach, and didn't stick around after the tryout. It did seem to boost her confidence a little.
The first week of tryout's, she had tryout's for three different teams, and got offers at all three, and one of them happened to be her number one team, she accepted and now seems to be happy.
I was under the assumption that tryouts were open to the public, but after reading some posts. I think that some will believe that I wasted some of the coaches time, this was not my intent. I would like to hear from coaches about this, to get there point of view.

 

[wow]

What everyone is forgetting is tryouts work both ways. If everyone approaches it this way there will be a lot less hurt feelings.

 

[tjsmize3]

I'm afraid I agree with everybody else on here because I can't see how anything Stupid Jim did was wrong. On the other hand, I can see how someone trying to fill a roster might get a little jaded if his top five picks were all "there for the workout." Bottom line ... if it gave your daughter some added confidence that's awesome! I wouldn't have a problem at all if you were at one of my tryouts and that was your sole purpose for being there. I've told a lot of people to go to multiple tryouts each year just so their daughter can get comfortable with putting her skills on display. Better to learn that lesson now than in the years where college coaches start showing up. The only thing I don't understand though is if your daughter made a list... why wouldn't going to THOSE tryouts and nailing it give her MORE confidence than going to some random large/well known org that she had no interest in??? Secondly, if this large org also has a top level team at her age, then why wasn't THAT team at the top of your daughter's list? She made all 3 of her teams.... sounds like she might be underestimating her talent a bit.

 

[ApogeeDemon]

Our club has very well attended tryouts. At 16U we will often get 100+ girls.

So when we see a player that we know or is very good we will call them over and have this discussion:

- How you doing today?........So we have to ask why are you here? Are you just looking to get in a workout or are you looking to make a team? And typically we get about 50% saying that they are just here to get in a workout. If they are just there to workout we typically comment that they are doing great and to keep up the good work. Or we may give them a little sell to see how solid they are with there current team.

It is not a very big deal to our club. We take it with a grain of salt.

Yes, what you did was wrong! Stop playing the Martyr. Its like when lawyer uses a leading question or try and make the defendant sound innocent. "ya, my client shot his wife but doesn't he have the right to be forgiven?" LOL Do you apply for jobs in your town to only tell the Boss you never planned on working there? I only show up for a workout? How dumb is that? Go workout with YOUR coach! That's what I would say. You did waste peoples time. If you need sympathy from these people then you already know inside what you did was wrong. This is my opinion. I'm sure I'll get bashed but that's ok. I'm not a sheep. I tell you what I feel. I don't baaaaaaaaaaaaaa very well!

 

[jdcii]

If you had no intentions of playing for said team then you are wasting the coach's time. Tryouts aren't free workouts or even confidence builders. They are a short period of time that a player is put in front of a coach that they should want to play for, nothing more. As a coach, if I walked over to you after wards and you told me you had no intentions of playing for me but were there to boost your daughter's confidence I'd probably want to kick you in the b*lls. You not only robbed me of paying more attention to other potential players you also robbed a potential player of being seen by me.

 

[ApogeeDemon]

If you had no intentions of playing for said team then you are wasting the coach's time. Tryouts aren't free workouts or even confidence builders. They are a short period of time that a player is put in front of a coach that they should want to play for, nothing more. As a coach if I walked over to after wards and you told me you had no intentions of playing for me but were there to boost your daughter's confidence I'd probably want to kick you in the b*lls. You not only robbed me of paying more attention to other potential players you also robbed a potential player of being seen by me.

well said for sure

 

[Louuuuu]

For every player who goes to a tryout seeking something other than a spot on that roster, there's five teams where coaches mislead the girls with stuff like "I'll let you know", "Come back for a second tryout", etc...

 

[CarMad]

I certainly can see both sides of this but you have to agree with the fact that it does take away some opportunity for other kids. Coaches will naturally pay more attention to the ones that clearly stand out. If the kids then say "Well I was jut here for the work out" that stings! It is hard enough to evaluate the other 40 kids as it is. I'm sure this is more of an issue at the younger ages. What about the parent that likes to parade their kid around just to get offers as a matter of ego? What a waste. The good news is most coaches do talk.

 

[Stupid Jim]

I'm afraid I agree with everybody else on here because I can't see how anything Stupid Jim did was wrong. On the other hand, I can see how someone trying to fill a roster might get a little jaded if his top five picks were all "there for the workout." Bottom line ... if it gave your daughter some added confidence that's awesome! I wouldn't have a problem at all if you were at one of my tryouts and that was your sole purpose for being there. I've told a lot of people to go to multiple tryouts each year just so their daughter can get comfortable with putting her skills on display. Better to learn that lesson now than in the years where college coaches start showing up. The only thing I don't understand though is if your daughter made a list... why wouldn't going to THOSE tryouts and nailing it give her MORE confidence than going to some random large/well known org that she had no interest in??? Secondly, if this large org also has a top level team at her age, then why wasn't THAT team at the top of your daughter's list? She made all 3 of her teams.... sounds like she might be underestimating her talent a bit.

I'm glad that you feel this way since it was the outlaw's tryout that I took her to. She absolutely loves your organization, even filled in on one of your teams once. The only reason that we would not have taken an offer was the amount of travel that was involved, with 5 other kids I just couldn't do it.
She went to the Thursday tryout and her other tryouts didn't happen until Saturday, her second try out was her #1 team, got her offer, and seems to be a good fit.
She had a pretty bad experience with her team in the summer, the last day was pretty bad, with parents, players and coaches all screaming at each other, and then the team being dismantled I could see it in her that she was a little down with her self, and down on softball. I wanted her to see that she has talent, and that she can hang with anyone. Lets face it there are not too many rec ball girls trying out for the outlaws, I just wanted her to see the caliber of girls at the tryout. She actually had fun and seen some of the girls she played against in the summer.
So I would like to say thanks, and sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes. She did have a blast, and you guy's are still her #1 team

 

[Stupid Jim]

If you had no intentions of playing for said team then you are wasting the coach's time. Tryouts aren't free workouts or even confidence builders. They are a short period of time that a player is put in front of a coach that they should want to play for, nothing more. As a coach, if I walked over to you after wards and you told me you had no intentions of playing for me but were there to boost your daughter's confidence I'd probably want to kick you in the b*lls. You not only robbed me of paying more attention to other potential players you also robbed a potential player of being seen by me.

Well I'm glad that my b*lls are still ok (ouch)