Strike outs, just like home runs is just another statistic - albeit with a certain "wow factor". Getting sidetracked by focusing on these statistics can hinder a pitcher's development. "Effective pitching" should be the ultimate focus. Softball is about winning games in a sportsmanlike fashion, and it takes 9 individuals on the field in perfect sync to consistently win games. Expecting your pitcher(s) to strike out batters to mask a weak fielding defense is unrealistic. Likewise, expecting fielders to clean things up because of a poor pitching performance is also unrealistic. Those type of teams are never successful in the long run.
Strike outs attract attention, but there is some underlying facts to look at. What level is the opponent? What level of competition is the pitcher facing on a consistent basis? As with any high level athlete, skills won't improve unless you are tested to your limits and beyond. Only then will you know your true skill level. College coaches look far beyond the strike out statistic, because there's a LOT more to the equation. I'd take a 21 pitch "perfect game" total team effort any day over a 21 strike out game. The difference? 21 strike outs requires a minimum of 63 pitches - over 3 times as many pitches. The result? Your pitcher is rested and available for multiple games where wins are needed to go the distance in a tournament. IMO, two of the most important pitching statistics to gauge effectiveness is walks per game and total pitches per game. Anything under 90 pitches over seven innings against excellent hitters is very good.
Also, strike outs do not necessarily decrease with age level. Strike outs typically decrease simply because the pitcher is facing much better hitters - and that can happen at any age level.