What is best for daughter

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I have a thirteen year old daughter who plays for a select team I won't mention. She is a pitcher and very talented. Although she only throws about 50 miles per hour right now. She moves the ball very well, having 5 pitches and throwing them all for strikes if she wants to. My question is, we just played our first tournament and her coach didn't give her the time of day.
For whatever reason she is the only player on the team who doesn't get oppurtunity to perform. She pitched Saturday during pool play and pitched the best out of all the pitchers. Never walking a batter and only giving up .5 average hits an inning. But when it came to tournament play today she wasn't given a single inning to pitch. Not being very happy and her self esteem going down hill, we are considering playing recreational ball this year then next year trying out for another select team when she is actually 14. The only problem is she loves playing with this organization and all our fees have already been paid for the year. Any advice on what we should do would be helpful. Like I said she works really hard at pitching. Throwing every single day and taking lessons through the winter. Very consistent on her pitches and moves the ball around. But since she doesnt' throw 52 or higher like some of the older pitchers on the young 14 and under team she isn't given the time of day. What should we do?????????????????????????????????

 

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What about her control? How many does she walk per game? Thats a very important factor.Also ,were there any wild pitche,with runners on base?Does she get behind in the count often?Pitchers that have the most control will get the most time in the circle,especially in the trophy rounds.

 

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From my experiences, ride this one out. ?If she is getting any playing time at all, that is a positive. ?The moment you say anything about playing time, she will slowly see even less. ?
Its a war of attrition. ?Let the others start complaining first, while your daughter works even harder on her game. ?While the other players and parents are working there way into the doghouse, your daughter will be working her way onto the field.
"Nothing ever worth winning, was ever accomplished without hard work"
After one weekend, it is really to soon to see if things are really as bad as you feel they are.

My daughter and I were in the same situation her 1st year of 12U. ?She was upset with her playing time, which was sharing time in right field with another girl. ?I kept encouraging her, and we worked hard on her game. ?While the other players were crying to the coach about playing time, she continued to improve, while the others quit trying. ?She eventually won the starting outfield spot, and moved up in the batting order. ?I told her that the hard work would pay off, and it eventually did.

In the coaches eyes, she may not be where he thinks she should be. ?Although it is his opinion, he does write out the lineup card, and has the final say. ?Believe me, from a coaches perspective and as a parent, if she is working hard, and giving her best effort, the coach will see it, and she will be rewarded with more playing time. ?NO amount of jawing in the coaches ear will change what he feels is right, so don't go there.
Don't let her quit, and keep things positive, you will see the results. ?GOOD LUCK!!

 

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Since it is only your first tournament, I would not make any hasty decisions about leaving the team. Why not try expressing your concerns to the coach in a non-confrontational manner. Maybe indicate to the coach that your daughter is hoping to earn more mound time and wants to know what he thinks she needs to work on. That way he can tell you what he thinks she needs to improve on.

Sometimes a coach's confidence in a pitcher will grow with each successful outing the pitcher has. Also, the other pitchers may have more experience in pressure situations, so your daughter will have to earn that experience over time. Tell your daughter to keep practicing and her mound time will come. She will just need to be strong and confident when her pitching opportunities come. Returning to rec league and pitching to weak batters will not make her a better pitcher.

 

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Give it some time. Tell her to work hard, good things will happen.

 

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The best (perceived) pitchers are going to get the work in bracket play on competitive tournament teams. And early in the season - all things being equal - the faster pitchers are perceived as the better pitchers.

My DD only got 3 starts in the first 15 games last year, but got positioned as a closer and long reliever, because she could throw strikes and she had a different speed look than the fastball pitchers. It worked out for her - she ended up with more innings (and more wins) than any other pitcher by the end of the year. (And as the coach's confidence grew, she started more games.)

The question to ask is why are you on THIS team? They sound deep in pitching, and that usually means competitive. Doesn't sound like there was any guarantee of playing time, which is typical of the more competitive teams. If your goal was to be on a winning team - you are.

The one thing I do believe is that you and DD have a commitment to finish out the season. Lack of playing time is not a valid reason to walk. The season can be very educational for what you really might like to look for in a team next season.

In the meantime, ask for what DD has to do to get more playing time. DON'T complain, but make it a serious effort to do better for the team.

 

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Sporty, I'm sure your daughter is very talented. In time I'm sure she will get more pitching time on the mound during tournaments. You mentioned this is a young 14 team- I'm sure all the players are adjusting to the new age group. I don't think your coach would let you or her be discouraged. Each player brings something new to their team.
Keep the moral high. Best of luck at your next tournament.

 

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My dd is playing 12u and also pitches. ?She is not the best pitcher on the team but is practicing very hard. ?Also does not see a lot of time in the circle. ?This is what my husband and I tell both our children. ?"Where ever you are put out in the field, or in the line up, you play that position to the best of your ability. ?Eventually they will recognize the talent." ?It worked for my son who started mostly on the bench. ?Ended playing every game either pitching or 2nd base. ?My dd sees enough circle time to show her talent and eventually she will get better and better. ?But it is up to her.

Lady Knights ?I agree with you 100%! ?It is up to your dd. ?The positive attitude will win out in the end!! ;D

 

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Ride out the season and don't ask your daughter to run at the first sign of adversity. Teach her to keep working no matter what the situation is and I think you will find in the long run that is a very valuable lesson.

Keep in mind that most coaches don't understand pitching....not even a little bit. Most will see who throws the hardest and that is it, and then wonder why their "ace" pitcher got creamed in the big game. Don't worry about it. Listen to your pitching instructor and keep working. Coaches also aren't perfect and who knows, maybe your travel coach will learn more about your daughter as the summer goes on.

At the end of the season, re-evaluate and if appropriate, go to tryouts for other teams. You'll find the right place for her.

 

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Also, have her spend as much time working on her hitting as she does her pitching. Coaches will always find spots on the field for girls who can hit.

 

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I think that you as parents should let her earn her pitching time on her own, and keep it all postive. we as parents need to pick and choose our fights for our childern, and if the coaches have not been disrespectful or rude to her then you need to sit back and let her prove her-self to them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!It is hard as parents to do that, because we all think that our kids are the best, but it is not our job to get her in the game more, it is her job to do that, let her prove that to her coaches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will get more respect out of your daughter, and by letting her win that postion on her own, she will learn how to take care of things alot better. We have to teach our children how to make things happen for themsleves, not that mom and dad will do it for them all the time. And if she wants it taht bad she will do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just keep it all postive for her, hugs and kisses when she does pitch and does well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am sure your daughter will do what is best for her.Keep working hard and god bless.

 

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Wow, these are some great posts. You could cut these out and hand them to your parents in the fall when you pick your teams. No matter how many times you tell parents up front that playing time is not gauranteed, it's not rec ball, the best will play, playing time is earned, etc, etc. They will still be upset if their kids are not playing as much as everybody else. It not that they are bad parents, that's just the way parents are wired. Line-ups change as the season goes along, you see kids improve, the fog begins to clear and the coach will eventually get it right and the best will play. That's just how it works. My team's still a little foggy right now, and we coaches don't always get it right early on but we learn more each week. Give it some time and hopefully things will work out.

 

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Let your daughter play...encourage her to play and have fun in whatever role she is given.

One season will not make or break her career...my daughter (a pitcher who will be playing D1), played an entire season in the OF when she was 16 (due to a weird set of circumstances). It was one of the best things that ever happened to her! She had a great deal of fun, concentrated on her hitting, and ended up with a real appreciation for what outfielders go through!

While she wants to pitch in college, if something happens and they need an outfielder, she'll be ready!

 

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These are some great responses! Hard work will always payoff!

 

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My daughter went through the same thing last year at 12 years old. The team she played for wouldnt allow her to pitch much, and she started losing interest in working on her pitching. She decided that she wanted to move, so we did. She completed the season with another team, got lots of mound time. This year her 1st tournament was the greenville early bird, not only did she pitch, she got a trophy for most outstanding pitcher in the 14U! Dont let her lose intrest in pitching! ?JMHO Sounds to me she has been proving herself and still not given opertunities to pitch! When she left the season was about half way over, and things didnt change, it wasnt a hasty decision on her part.

 

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We have a girl that didn't quite have the speed for tournament ball last year but was very determined and worked hard all winter.....she is now pitching...

 

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These posts are very interersting. So, what decision will you make, Sporty?

 

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Lady Knights - I agree with you 100%. Just encourage DD to improve her game, don't worry about what anybody else is doing and when you're out there, do your best and show them that you deserve to be out there. Eventually, DD will get her time on the mound. Just don't be one of the parents telling your kid after the game that she's better than "Suzy" and that she should have been out there instead of Suzy. That will just cause issues between you, DD, and her teamates. Sometimes it's hard not to compare, but you can't.
We had it happen in Volldyball. DD isn't great, but she wasn't the worst. She was better than 2 others who never seemed to come off the court. It would have been easy to complain to the coach about DD playing time and to tell DD that she was better than they were and she deserved to be out there but we realized that would only cause her to lose respect for her coaches and her teamates. So, we worked with her at home to improve her game (thank goodness for those 16 foot ceilings in the family room!), and told her to just keep working hard at practice and show the coaches she deserved the playing time. By mid-way through the season she was playing 50-75% of the time, by the end of the season, she was starting every game and playing 90% of the time and she was proud because she knew she had earned the position.

 

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Thank you all for your comments. My daughter and I have talked and we both agree that she is going to remain where she is. DD says she is going to work even harder at what she has been doing. Not just as a pitcher but as an all around player. Again thank you for your replies, sometimes it is easier looking outside in than inside out.

 

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Congratulations, Sporty. I think your DD has learned a very valuable life lesson that she can take with her long after her softball career is over. Nothing worthwhile is ever just given to you, it is earned through hard work, sweat, and determination.

Good luck!!!