Who chooses team parent or daughter

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Do you or your DD chose team to play for? DD is 12 and wants to play up with last years team. She definately has ability to play up. Dad was considering playing for bigger name organization with bigger tournaments. I ultimately will leave it up to her. I just wondered how others handled it. At what age do you step in to ensure DD is doing what is best for her future?

 

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I think sometimes as a parent we need to step in and guide them to the right situation for your dd's development. What good does it do he to play on a team where she will be back up or not get a fair shot. JMHO

 

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Honestly, it's all a **** shoot. There's no predicting the future on these things. She could play up with her old team and have a great year and progress nicely. She could have a bad year, get all the coaches, players and parents p.o.'d because she can't hit the pitching and they wasted a roster spot.

Unless her parent is the coach, she'll be sitting the bench as soon as she goes into a slump and may waste most of the season.

If she stays down, she might be bored with the lack of competition. My considered advice for any 12-year-old eligible player would be (unless she's absolutely capable of being a star at the higher level) to play for a 12U team that will compete in the best possible tournaments. She'll have plenty of time to light up the 14U division.

 

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I think you need to have a discussion with your dd to see exactly what she wants, and then guide her to the right conclusion. My dd and I discussed who we wanted to tryout for. We came up with some teams that we both agreed on. If an offer is made made, we will discuss that potential team, but the ultimate decision is hers. Afterall, if I wasn't ok with her taking an offer from that team, I wouldn't have taken her to their tryout. You should find out that team's expectations of your dd, and what you can "reasonably" expect. No team can guarantee you anything really, things happen and often expectations change, but find out what is reasonably expected before making a decision.

 

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While I agree with wgman21, the ultimate decision should be hers, you have to give them a push to get them out of their comfort zone. My DD and I discuss what she wants and then look for were she can get it. If your DD's interest is beyond just having some fun then you need to give a her a little push, me thinks.

 

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Afterall, if I wasn't ok with her taking an offer from that team, I wouldn't have taken her to their tryout.

That is a good way to put it!

 

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While I agree with wgman21, the ultimate decision should be hers, you have to give them a push to get them out of their comfort zone. My DD and I discuss what she wants and then look for were she can get it. If your DD's interest is beyond just having some fun then you need to give a her a little push, me thinks.

Musty,
I think we agree completely. I am certainly pushing her. We are trying out for two 18u teams and two 16u teams. If she gets an offer, we will discuss it to make she she is choosing the team for the right reasons. It's ultimately her decision, and she knows that.

 

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I let my DD think she's making the choice.

 

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Mine absolutely makes the choice! She chose to give up her last year of 12U and play with the Stingrays 13U this past season, she loved it and it made her a better ball player and person. The coach's were great as well as the kids! She has been asking me to move out west for 2 years, and we finally did and now she is playing up again with the Arizona Hotshots 95. Her goal is to move to 16U for the 2011 season with the team. Parents goals and kids goals should be close to the same, but at some point the kids opinion is the one that matters!! JMHO

 

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I think it should be mostly your DD's choice just because she will be the one practicing and playing with the other girls and coaches. You can have some input in it, if you think she is making a bad choice just tell her and keep her options open.

 

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I've been in travel softball for five years. I find that the girls often make better choices than their parents--unencumbered with agendas. My daughter chooses for herself with some guidance from me.

WWolff--playing backup can be good for a player if they come to practice ready to learn and develop, and work hard. The player may just earn that starting position. On the other hand, some coaches only coach to insure a position for their daughter. That's a post for another time.

 

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I let my dd make the ultimate decision but I try to point her in the right direction. She's been playing now for 5 years and I think she knows a good coach when she see's one and she also knows wether or not she can get along well with her teammates.

 

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I let my dd make the ultimate decision but I try to point her in the right direction. She's been playing now for 5 years and I think she knows a good coach when she see's one and she also knows wether or not she can get along well with her teammates.

Nice observation "whether or not she can get along well with her teammates"...that is important too!

 

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Everybody has made good points. My two cents is that a younger DD, say in 10U or 12U, would think there would be more parental input. For older girls, would expect parents to provide pros and cons and then let the DD make the final decision.

Having said that, my DD's are young so I'm still running the show!! Ha Ha.

 

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I feel it needs to be a mutual decision between the player and her parents. At the younger ages (8u-13u) the parents should exert a little more influence in the decision. As the girls get older the majority of the influence should shift to the players wants.

It is very important that the players and parents communicate throughout the season and before next year's tryouts about their experiences (communicate doesn't mean complain). The good, the bad and the ugly experiences should all be part of the decision making. If as a parent you approach things with maturity and reason, you will find that your daughter will too. JMHO

 

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I give advice and talk to her before and after tryouts. Go over what ifs, but she needs to make the final decision.

 

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Couldn't have said it better Marionfastpitch. I only made the choice for my dd once it it was the worst decision made, and the wife and dd won't let me forget it.

 

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Last year I let my dd make the final decision. I did do research and talked to people. It turned out not to be the best experience for her. This year it will be much better.

 

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Marion I agree about older ages but do you think is also true at younger ages

 

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I do, Kids just can tell if they are going to get along with the kids on a team better than parents can. My dd is very vocal -social and makes friends very easy. Too many parents pick the team based on , this is an elite team and she will learn to be a college sofball player. If the kid is not having fun at the younger ages, you are in trouble, because I have seen my share of those that no longer play softball, because of parents.