Would you add her to the Team ?

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Tough situation, especially if the kid herself seems like a quality person, trapped so to speak in an unfair situation, and with talent that should not go to waste. That, plus belief in oneself often leads to biting off more than you can chew, and maybe even subjecting others who had confidence in you to extremes as well. Anyone can make mistakes, and most deserve a second chance for non-criminal stuff. This sounds pretty chronic though. Think of the other parents and kids on the team, what you want to accomplish on and off the field with the kids, and you will probably have a clear answer. Good luck to you, and also the player.

 

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Run from this situation. Do not take the girl. I had a girl and parent last year that tried out. 2 parents came to me and said ' don't take this girl because of the father'. I responded that you cannot punish the player for the parent. It was a huge mistake. The parent caused alot of dissention and the team broke up.

Had I listened, a whole lot of heartache would have been avoided.

 

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Just a little off topic here, but has anybody ever had a problem parent that shaped up over the course of the season? We had a problem parent this year, and dad definitely did a 180 after the coach talked to him about how his behavior was affecting his daugher. Is it hopeless in most cases? You'd think after being to asked so many teams, that dad would finally get a clue.

 

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I would love to hear from some parents and see how they feel !!

 

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Several years ago a coach explained to the problem parents that the only way he would take their daughter on his team was that the parents could NOT be present during her games. The team had no problems with the family all season. The following year the problem parents were NO longer problem parents and were allowed to attend her games........and had no additonal problems. In fact, I believe they returned as very supportive parents.

 

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From a parent of a player!
If I were the parent of the player I would get a grip! These girls only get so many chances in their young lives to excell in a sport they love. Why on earth, would a father, or Mother for that matter, take the chance on ruining that for their child?!?!? :exclamation

If I had a player on the team this child/parents was on and was threatened. I would grab the coaches and report it. If that did no good I would simply cut my losses and my daughters losses and walk away. Straight to my lawyer to file a law suit against the parent that threated me or my child.

This is truely a sad situation, for the child.
I like treetop's suggestion. At least TRY it for the child?

 

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I have run into this to in the past. I would not take her either.

 

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Treetop's solution occurred to me a couple of times when I was reviewing this thread. The worst that could happen is the parent says he won't go along with staying away. Then you know as a coach you at least tried to help out the young lady and improve the talent on your team at the same time.

But I'm probably being too much of a Pollyanna.

 

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I have watched how one parent can be so poisonous to a team that people don't even realize that they too have become negative. I agree with Sideliner, Travel softbal is also about picking the families. I mean think about it, we are together every weekend all summer long as well as multiple practices and fall tourneys. It can quickly get ugly.

We've been lucky, but as a team looking for new players their parents can weigh into the decision too.

 

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treetop, Did the coach discuss this with the parent privately and gave room for error or did he discuss with the team as a whole first. Now remember , this guy has a well know very bad attitude. I mean , alot of teams know about him and the way he is . He has caused many fights with other teams by his mouth as well with his own teams . Even at tryouts no one liked him . He has a very bad reputation. Even when I see his comments and threads he posts on here , all are negative and just trying to start problems it seems. I was just wondering how alot of parents felt about individuals like this. hate punishing a child but sometimes its best to pass.

 

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Have seen this before.....depending on age group...if it a 16u or 18u and problems ?have been experienced by 3 separate teams (that we know of)....don't try and reinvent the wheel...what you have is a life habit of a Dad or Mom trying to live vicariously through their child, no it isn't fair to player, but it will poison your team and make for a longggggg unhappy season for the other 11 players....don't do it. Have lived through it with the coach's famous words..,"I know I can handle them"......guess what NOBODY can handle a parent like this and the poor kid has been a victim of their interference in probably every aspect of their life.... I would be willing to bet anyone who has been in this sport long enough know the problem parents and have mental note that "nope won't be on a team with that family again....." Coach listen to the warnings.......

 

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YEAH, said that this girl is "a very GOOD pitcher". I know that to be an effective pitcher takes a lot of work and dedication. It is sad that a child willing to put in the effort to become an effective pitcher is being ostracized from fastpitch for reasons out of her controll. Is the girl causing disruptions also? If not this father should be ashamed of himself, and ask himself what kind of example he is showing the kids around him. Although I dont know the whole story, from the sounds of it he probably deserves to be shunned. But I still think that you have to make an attempt to accomodate this girl (if she is not a part of the problem). The immuturity of her father should not ruin her. Is this parent accecpting any blame for the prior incidents or is he stuck blaming everybody else? Mabee after reading these posts and seeing how bad his actions are affecting his dd he will learn how not to act. Im also sure that if he continues to threaten people, at some point he will bite off more than he can chew.

 

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bo6608,
You are right on the money about your last comment. I am assuming its just a matter of time . I hear the DD is just playing High school ball this year and not travel ball. Its sad . But I think its not going to change . I thought about talking to our coach about adding her but once I start thinking straight , I say " NO WAY " .

 

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Unfortunately, these type of parents have it ingrained in them that they are right, and the coach is wrong. Nothing will change their minds until their DD grows up and realizes what an a** their parent was. Hopefully the young lady learns from this example, and history won't repeat itself. Coaches have a hard enough time coaching a NORMAL team (whatever that is) without having to try to rescue a kid from her insane parents! That's life.

 

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Its a sad situation that unfortunately doesnt look like will end soon.

 

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As a retired police supervisor, it sounds like this father has probably committed actual criminal offenses; Menacing, Aggravated Menacing(if serious harm was threatened), or Disorderly Conduct come to mind here in Ohio. With that knowledge you should be very careful. You could be putting other parents, etc. in danger and a civil action could arise from that. If you take this girl I would have her dad sign a statement that he will not be present at any games.

 

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Has any coach/team ever had a parent sign a form like Sticks has suggested? Just curious?

 

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I would curious to know if any team has done this also.

 

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Just curious, out of all of the talent in Ohio, is it really worth jumping through hoops to have this child on a team? Sorry the child is the one feeling the pain from Daddy's actions. That is a disgrace but, I do not want 11 other girls suffering because of one parent on the sideline. There is nothing like having a disgruntled parent making their rounds on the sidelines, poisoning the other parents with their negativity. That leads to a VERY unhappy environment for all.