Hitting and Hitters Discussion Would you make your DD play for a team she dont want to play for.

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Why would you take your DD to a tryout for a team she has no intention of playing for. I have three DD's playing for the LunaChix. They want to play for these teams. they have no desire to play for anyone else.

 

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Urbana Fan, Going to try-out to hang with friends and share with Coach and team face to face and clearly communicate what we've decided to do and why. Life is to short to burn bridges and hopefully everyone will respect our decision. Likewise, it is always a possibillity of failure in our new path, which could mean coming back, if situation and relationships are good.

Hope that makes sense

 

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No. Life is more than what I want. If she is not having fun then it is not worth it.

 

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We like to say we have a benevolent dictatorship in our household. I would never force my daughters to play for a team they didn't want, on the flip side, they would never play for a team I didn't want them to. I guess what I'm saying is they can decide, but as parents we have final say. I guess as a parent there may be reason(s) why I wouldn't let her play for a certain team, although they've never come up, but if they did I wouldn't hesistate to say no. I let my 11 year old chose her team last year, and it ended up being a horrible experience for her and all of us. She was very careful this season to include us a bit more in the decision making process. If she would've ended up saying she wanted to remain on the same team from last season, I would've said no. Whew! Let me just say this, we got home from the last tournament of the season and she already had the team window sticker peeled off the van!

 

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I guess she make her thought known then... LOL

 

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If she has made a commitment to that team for the year, then she needs to stick it out. I don't think going to many tryouts is a bad thing, and she is the one out their with the girls so if she doesn't like it, don't push it or the fun of the game will be non-existent.

However, if money is an issue, and that team is close, going to practice close, and save the travel for the summer, that might be something a parent has to choose for her.

 

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Good luck getting any female to do something she doesn't want to do.

 

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Since this exact thing happened to us this year....

No I wouldn't make my dd play for any team she did not want to play on.

She played last year for a very respectable organization, who cares about the girls and their future. They were very fair to her, coaches all treated her with respect. They were very motivating and taught her a lot.

A week before tryouts we were approached by a coach from another respectable organization who wanted her for his team. Threw a lot of offers out there, nothing that she didn't already have with the organization she was with. I took her to both tryouts not really looking to leave the organization she was with. However, she didn't really get along with the girls on her team. She tried to, but they never really accepted her and made sure she knew it ALL SUMMER long. It made for a very long summer for her.

So when we went to the recruiting teams tryouts, she knew several of the girls already. She was accepted immediately!!

Believe me it was a hard move for me, not for her. She accepted a spot on the recruiting team without shedding a tear or batting a eye. I cried for 3 days. The new team is equally as good for her as far as the organization goes with the added bonus of the High School coach being a part of the organization (not the coach of her team). But she will be much happier with the girls on this team because they are already her friends. She doesn't have to try so hard.

This is for her!! Not for me or we would still be with the original org.!! She has to be happy or she will not learn or get better. IMHO

 

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Why cry if they are equal organizations? Of course you probably made parental friends. But Great for her, its nice that she found a good fit. She will have more fun and probably progress even more because. We know how nice it can be when your DD finally finds a good fit.

 

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I have been the coach of my daughters team since it formed as 10U, but if she didn't want to play for me or anyone else anymore I would not force her.
This will be year 6 for our team and now that they are older, moving to 16U and playing High School, we sat down and talked to the girls about what would keep them happy and still into this.
Our girls didn't complain about the schedule because they love the game, but we want to make sure they don't start feeling like they have to play instead of wanting to play.
As a group we decided to cut back on the number of weekends we play so that they do not get burnt out and so they can do normal teenage stuff on some weekends during the summer.
All of us coaches and parents agree that this is for the girls not us so we take how they feel very seriously.

 

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Why cry if they are equal organizations? Of course you probably made parental friends. But Great for her, its nice that she found a good fit. She will have more fun and probably progress even more because. We know how nice it can be when your DD finally finds a good fit.

Not only did I make parental friends, but because I kept the score book I made friends with all the girls. Even though they were not nice to my dd I WILL NOT get involved in 13 year old drama. I didn't realize how bad it was though until we went to the other tryout.

Anyway, when my dd joined the original team I never expected to EVER leave. They were wonderful. It was extremely hard for me to let her change, but it is her decision. She would have had another long lonely summer if I had made her stay.

 

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No. Life is more than what I want. If she is not having fun then it is not worth it.

AMEN:yahoo:

 

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I would never make my daughter play for a team that she didn't want to play for. I would encourage her if I really thought it was the best decision but never force he. We are in this for her to play and have fun. If she is not enjoying herself then what is the point. I also would not let her play for a team that I do not want her to play for. As her parent I reserve that right. I have never taken her to a tryout for a team that I would not like her to play for. We were just given an opportunity to change teams within our organization. Did I know that it would be better for her to make the change, yes. Did I let her know my feelings, yes. But I never would have made her change unless she was sure of it herself. The other team was great, but I think that with her situation the coaches on this team have a different perspective on what is going on and hopefully can "fix" it not to mention the wonderful aspect of playing with older girls that will hopefully push her to keep up with them.

 

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IMHO...the kids don't get enough say in where they want to play. Although I will always try to do what's in my dd's best interest, I wouldn't force her to play for a team she didn't want to (as long as she's not currenlty committed). This is her future we're building...its only fair she have a say in it.

 

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The way I want to raise my daughter is this: If you commit to something, you finish that commitment, end of story. No ifs, buts, nothing. Here's another real life example...my daughter plays the viola and hated the teacher her freshmen year - well, sorry about your luck, you made a year long commitment to take that class and play in that orchestra, so she fulfilled the commitment. The part no one has mentioned is that other kids lose out when yours doesn't fulfill their obligation.

 

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I dont think there was commitment. Just pressure

 

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In that case, if there wasn't a commitment already in place, then the answer is no...I wouldn't make my daughter play for a team she didn't want to be on. That makes for a really long year, a waste of money, a big waste of time, and more drama than teenage daughters already bring! )