Body shaming at 18u ASA State Tournament

Discussion in 'General Softball Discussions' started by Bretapps, Jun 28, 2020 at 3:27 PM.

  1. Bretapps

    Bretapps Member

    D4947A38-1CDF-4F3C-96A5-74825E5750D3.jpeg This weekend at the 18U state tournament in Canton Ohio the unthinkable happened...My daughter who plays for the Ohio Firecrackers was playing third base in a game against the lasers gold when a parent from cincy doom who was playing on the adjacent field body shamed her in group text message to several other parents. This women happened to be one of my daughters old coaches wife???What 40 year old women watching a softball game from a different team creeps on a 17 year old child playing softball takes a pic of her and says “high pants playing third base” making fun of her body image?? and belittles her in a group text?!?!!?? Oh, I know what women does this: HEATHER ALLPHINE An old coaches wife from a team my daughter use to play for STOP BULLYING!! please pass along post!!

    #heatherallphineneedsbannedfromyouthorganizedsports.

    Stay classy cincy doom organization
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2020 at 1:54 PM
    Dave Coffee likes this.
  2. DanMaz

    DanMaz Super Moderator Staff Member

    is it April fools day?

    i hope this is not true.... i would expect a teenager or younger age child would do this... but a parent?????? OMG.
     
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  3. Bretapps

    Bretapps Member

    This is 100% true a friend of mine was sent the text message thread and they forwarded it to me.. My daughter is very upset about this :(
     
  4. Rerun

    Rerun Super Moderator Staff Member

    That’s dumb, what kind of person would do this type of crap. Hopefully you daughter has the courage and strength to realize she not the problem.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2020 at 12:53 PM
  5. Rerun

    Rerun Super Moderator Staff Member

    Your daughter shouldn’t be upset, she should be proud and stand tall and not let them think for one minute they can upset her. I’m glad it wasn’t my daughter she would have kick the women behind.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2020 at 12:55 PM
  6. Bretapps

    Bretapps Member

    Rerun I am telling her the exact same thing!! She is more pissed off and embarrassed then she is sad-
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2020 at 12:55 PM
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  7. TheSoftballZone

    TheSoftballZone Administrator

    My daughter would have kick her behind if she did this to her team mates. But if someone did that to my daughter it would have been a contest to see who get there first my daughter or my wife. With me stuck trying to hold them back.

    There no room for this type of behaviour by anyone.

    Please keep us posted Bretapps. Hopefully the women will do the right thing and apologize to your daughter.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2020 at 12:56 PM
  8. DanMaz

    DanMaz Super Moderator Staff Member

    hopefully this parent sees this on this forum and is embarrassed beyond belief. offers and apology to your DD and the entire softball world. parents set examples. this is one BAD example... this is bullying. this is unacceptable and very SAD
     
  9. Bretapps

    Bretapps Member

    Thank you all for your support - this is why I posted on this site. I want my DD to read the comments and see that people wont and don’t tolerate body shaming and bullying. And realize she has supporters on her side.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2020 at 12:57 PM
  10. Dave Coffee

    Dave Coffee Member

    One of my daughter had a similar experience in a championship game on a social media site. She was hurt and upset but we talk with her in between innings and explained to her that if she wanted to really show what she made of go back on the mound and keep pitching the game she's been pitching and win the game.

    She must have listened because she pitch the whole game and didn't give up a single run and only walk 2 batters and strike out 12. What a game her team and she had that afternoon.
     
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  11. wahoochief

    wahoochief Member

    would like to hear "DOOM LEADERS" response to this, as he is on here often posting stuff for the org. Obviously the coaching staff and parents of this team need to be dealt with
     
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  12. Bretapps

    Bretapps Member

    Thank you wahoo chief- How do I get ahold of someone from USA/ASA league to discuss the situation? The main coach of the cincy doom organization reached out to me and sent a text also the husband of the wife who took the pic also reached out to me and apologized. But no one‘s apologize to my daughter yet I don’t want an apology my daughter needs an apology. But I also want to make sure this never happens again to any other softball or baseball player. I think there needs to be punishment for the crime. My daughters been bullied her whole life from kids about the way she looks. I certainly didn’t expect her to be body shamed and bullied by one of her old teammates mother, especially a coaches wife!
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2020 at 1:55 PM
  13. Gbrown00097

    Gbrown00097 Member


    I’ve had to sit and carefully think out my words for this post. I was very shaken by the story I was told about this incident. Most importantly, McKenzi is very clever, quick witted, funny, intelligent, kind and caring girl. I’ve become close to her as a coach in the past couple years, even while she played on other teams. She’s become a friend to my daughter and multiple girls on our team. It’s heart breaking that she would have to deal with this in and of itself. No adult, no adult should ever criticize a young ladies appearance. In today’s culture, I imagine image and self awareness are at a all time high. If anything is being taught today, is that words matter. A passing joke to one, may be the final straw for others.

    It truly disgusts me that an adult would take the time to take a photo and then share her comments in a group text at the expense of 17 year old girl. More disturbing is the fact this a a coaches wife. These actions were mean spirited and appalling and have no place in softball or youth athletics.

    I hope that apologizes are made to McKenzi and it is a discussion the organization as a whole will address. I’ve have coached against many Cincy Doom teams over the years and have respect for Coach Barnes, Lieter and Santos, teams we’ve played as recently as this week. I truly hope the group is not punished for the acts of select few and these leaders can address the situation and learn from it.


    Gary Brown
    Head Coach
    Firecrackers OH 18U
    614.989.6569
     
  14. TheSoftballZone

    TheSoftballZone Administrator

  15. Passion4theGame

    Passion4theGame Super Moderator Staff Member

    Haters gonna Hate.

    said parent is probably upset said player is playing for Firecrackers and not her team. Obviously she’s drinking some hateraide.

    I can’t throw this back on DOOM. They have a solid leader and some great coaches and players over there. Tim Gregory is doing a fantastic job and I am positive he is not ok with this nor does he condone this kind of stuff. Mike Libecap wouldn’t let this fly either. 2 stand up guys and class acts. That’s what I see DOOM as.

    I think this is just a bad apple that is hating on a kid. Doesn’t make it right though.

    Disgusting And the parent should probably be made to publicly apologize.
     
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  16. Bretapps

    Bretapps Member

    Unfortunately the bad apple is the wife of Doom coach wes allphine - she is also the team mom and head book keeper of this doom organization- she is part of the organization- not to mention Heather is heavily involved in the Milford school softball program. That is what makes this so appalling.

    Hating on a kid to say the least??? Publicly body shaming her to other parents and sneaking around and taking a picture of her playing in a game?!?!?
    Thats not hate, THAT IS discriminatory BEHAVIOR!! AND SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED!!
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2020 at 7:36 PM
  17. denise_anngolf

    denise_anngolf New Member

    I am so sorry your daughter is going through this. There is a sisterhood in softball where bonds can't be separated easily. I'm sure your daughter is an amazing person and she has every reason to be proud of her accomplishments. I don't blame her for being angry, but definitely don't let it get to you. Our coach gets made fun of at tournaments and it really bothers my DD and the rest of the team/parents when we over hear these "adults". These types of parents need to take note of this and learn from their children. This is unacceptable behavior!! We need to set an example and be accepting of all types of people! You have lots of "caring" adults here that are on your side...
     
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  18. Bretapps

    Bretapps Member

    Thank You Denise for your support- My daughter will appreciate.
     
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  19. CoachTEA

    CoachTEA Member

    Bretapps - all I see in that picture is a ball player! Having founded and led two different organizations, I understand that one person cannot control everything that is said and done -- it is how they choose to respond to the incident. Best wishes to you and your daughter!!!
     
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  20. her mom

    her mom Member

    Obviously this parent has more issues then a magazine stand. This shows me right here that she is miserable in her life and probably not happy with the type of player her child might be and wishes hers played like yours. Haters are everywhere and I have found out these last couple years that the adults are the worst. It is so easy for us to try and pump our kids up and try to help them get over this kind of bullying etc but no matter how hard we try their mental status cannot handle at these ages for the most part and it still really bothers them. I know from my daughters experience that it made her more mentally upset and depressed at the fact that it was the parents of the children that bullied her that were worse then their child. These were parents she loved, adored and trusted. So, mentally that tore her up more bc she thought those parents should have taken control of their children bullying her. But, that just showed us where the asshole kids got their behavior from. Their asshole parents. All we can do is love and support our children and be there for them to listen to when they are having problems etc. Karma is a biotch and she will get hers. Hopefully her child isn't following in her footsteps but odds are, she might be. I am sure your daughter has enough support and tell her to keep doing what she is doing and take that frustration out on the ball at the plate etc. Let that aggression out on the field.. That is when my daughter plays better LOL, when she gets angry.....Not that you want them to be angry but that is one way to let all that anger out. :) Your kiddos got this. Be strong and be proud and kick ass!!!!!!!! Sorry about the foul language.... Oh, and Ps years ago when my daughter played 12u I forget what team we were playing against at this tournament in Kettering, but I just so happened to be sitting behind the apposing teams parents and coaches and the main coach made a comment to his player saying that my daughter was going to be an easy out because she was slow etc. Well, funny he said that bc she blasted a home run and didn't have to move fast to get around those bases. Then wouldn't you know he kept his eye on her the rest of the tournament and wanted to know who her parents were bc he wanted to talk to us. Well, he wanted my slow child to sub for them. I reminded him according to him she was slow and that he probably would not want a player like that on his team.....But, thanks for the offer buddy!!!! (should have seen his face when I brought that up)
     
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