What gives?

[default]

Ok, my youngest DD is a cheerleader, I'm forced to accept this . BUt while attending the pee-wee game to watch her cheer, I was simply shocked at how the coaches talked to the boys and treated them. This was 6-8 year olds and just not at one game but 3 total and the same behavior from both sides.

Coaches screaming at the boys, slapping them hard enough on the pads to make them fall and hitting them on top of their helmets with their play books asking what was wrong with them.

The parents sit back and accept this that its making their sons into men. You'd never, and I mean never get away with this with girls. Any thoughts?

 

[default]

There was a problem with this in this area... and actually according law according to the local weekely paper... comes within the scope of child abuse... especially the hits to the head.

 

[default]

but why as parents accept this for boys and not girls?

 

[default]

Seen the same issues myself. Good question.

 

[default]

Ok, my youngest DD is a cheerleader, I'm forced to accept this . BUt while attending the pee-wee game to watch her cheer, I was simply shocked at how the coaches talked to the boys and treated them. This was 6-8 year olds and just not at one game but 3 total and the same behavior from both sides.

Coaches screaming at the boys, slapping them hard enough on the pads to make them fall and hitting them on top of their helmets with their play books asking what was wrong with them.

The parents sit back and accept this that its making their sons into men. You'd never, and I mean never get away with this with girls. Any thoughts?

I attended our high school's opening football game this past Friday night. I witnessed a boy wrap his arms around another boys legs while he was running nearly full speed and knock him down with quite a bit of force. On another play, the QB got knocked on his butt with enough force that he was a little slow getting up.

Now, had my DD been on the receiving end of any of these incidents I might have been just a little angry. HOWEVER - this is BOYS FOOTBALL, and it tends to be a somewhat violent sport, and is generally accepted in our society. Can anyone name a reason why it's not a good practice to have girls play "Friday night football" on the same field with the boys? Even if she had wanted to, I would not have permitted the borderline insanity of letting my DD play with boys who weigh twice her weight and nearly twice her strength!

A rap on the helmet or a thump on the pads should not upset a kid - even if he's only 8 yrs. old. Maybe someone could explain to him what football is about? There IS a line between abuse and coaching style, and that must be considered by the parents. There is a reason why some boys do not play football, and it is usually related to the abusive nature of the sport - and by abuse I mean from opponents "hits", and not coaches raps on helmets and pads.

 

[default]

I suppose, then, that you'd be fine with a softball coach rapping a girl on her helmet with knuckles/scorebook/etc... for some perceived mistake? She's wearing a helmet after all..

 

[default]

If you don’t get the football players used to the shock and abuse they will receive in game situations you are hurting them more. The hits they receive are not intended to hurt but to get them used to the hits they will receive on the field. Like Sammy said it is a violent sport by design and if you don’t prepare the boys to get hit and hit hard, what are they going to do the first time they get their bell rung? Didn’t you dads play football as kids, or have boys that did. That is the nature of the game.
The yelling and verbally beating them down I don’t have any patience for, you don’t have to tear them down to build them back up. But a thump here and there is not to intend to hurt them. Or would you rather wrap them in bubble wrap too.

 

[default]

Liniluna - think you missed Sammy's point. You would not see that behavior in baseball either. Football is a different animal. Now the description in the first post is probably a little excessive even for football. I played football into the collegiate levels and what the coaches did to me was far worse than anything you will find out there today and I turned out ok I think. Learned a lot about life's lessons and what teamwork was all about. I have coached softball for 17 years and have never come close to hitting a girl on the top of her helmet so I don't think there is really any correlation.

 

[default]

But then, maybe Sammy was missing Shockwave's point. I didn't get the impression that Shockwave was upset by the "violence" of the game of football, but by the abusive nature of the coach--hitting someone on the helmet and asking what is wrong with them, and other verbal abuse (especially when they are very young) doesn't "toughen them up" for the physical abuse they're receiving on the field.

 

[default]

IMHO, football is more about being/teaching disciplined. Teaching a player how to take a big hit from another and not wanting to get up and beat the $h!t out of them or on the other end... laying the qb out with a hard hit, then help him up afterwards.... having the coaches yell at them they and teaching the players not to react with anger.

 

[default]

Again, there is a line you have to draw, especially with physical abuse - but as Shockwave described (hitting them on the helmet with a play book) I wouldn't classify as physical abuse. And I certainly wouldn't call asking a kid "what is wrong with you" verbal abuse - especially when taken out of context.

I like the old saying about sticks and stones. Of course I draw the line at profanity, especially with very young kids. A little "drill sergeant routine" never hurt anybody. If a kid playing football can't handle a little "attitude adjustment" now and then, he's in for a rude awakening come high school - probably from his team mates.

Yes, I agree that football is quite different than baseball/softball. Football is a "fire in your belly" type of sport - a sort of controlled rage. Baseball/softball is more of a calm/self disciplined sport where getting into a football mentality would be disastrous. Rosey Grier was one football player who could separate his on-the-field play mentality from his everyday life.

 

[default]

I would also add that do the parents of these boys know the coach and know if he is being mean or what. It reminds me of what I was taught about believeing none of what you hear and half of what you see.

 

[default]

This was 6 years ago but most of the physical contact I seen at the youth football games came from parents not coaches.

DD Played Little Card Football at 8,9,10... Coaches were strict and the play was physical.
Coaches never physically struck any player but; would get loud and in their face.
This was the best conditioning/discipline she could get for her catching/softball and she still talks about how Coach Hawk got them pumped to play.

Most kids/parents that dropped from the program was due to the conditioning /running not the yelling or occasional jersey tug.
However, you do see on the news the occasional out of control coach in every sport.
I would share pictures if I could figure out how to add them. Upload keeps failing.

 

[default]

GREAT question! We have seen this in our area far too much. I cannot believe that any parent would accept this. Coming from the standpoint of a teacher, would I be permitted to do this to prepare kids for the difficulties they face in life? I think not, and I never could even fathom treating a child this way. The amazing part is the aggression continues---a 6 yr. old cannot discriminate the difference and will react the way these coaches are teaching them in any situation. Since football with the young ones has taken off the past few years, I have seen a marked issued with boys being extremely violent in the classroom and on the playground. This is abuse---it is not coaching style. My son plays baseball---I would never allow him to undergo such abuse. Frankly, if a coach did this to my child---I'd file charges. They are children, not adults making millions. Even then it has an affect---have you followed Chris Henry's story, or any other football player with serious aggression issues? What football coaches are doing to children is making them into very dangerous men as adults.

 

[default]

And what’s in the xbox and play station doesn’t??? At least on the ball field they are getting the control that comes with the other parts. Modern media is hitting with violence from every direction. On the football field they are being instructed on how to control the rage, and follow the rules. They learn on a small scale that when they go outside the rules there is a price to pay. It is a small price but it can change the outcome of the game. There are coaches that take it a little too far, don’t get me wrong, but the thump every now and then works. Just like running or pushups and situps for discipline.

 

[default]

softballmom25,

It appears you have very strong views about the effects of football on young males. Did you have a bad experience at some point? I'm not necessarily a big fan of youth football, but I tend to disagree lumping every single football player/coach into the "aggression" pool. I happen to know many kids (my son's classmates) who play football, and they are nowhere close to the personality type you describe. The ones I know usually are much more respectful of adults and their peers than most kids their age. And there is a reason for that... it's called parenting.

A kid acting up in the classroom has discipline/social issues that probably have nothing to do with any sport. A coach yelling at them may trigger an underlying psychological issue, but a "normal" kid (not raised in a sterile bubble) should be able to handle a little yelling.

Please Google Rosey Grier, the pro player I mentioned, then see if you have the same perspective on ALL football players.

 

[default]

I sometimes have to laugh at things that are characterized as abuse. Between teachers, principals, and my parents it seems I was always getting spanked as a child. 99% of the time I did something to deserve it. Belts, wooden hairbrushes, paddles with holes, oh my! I know you don't know me but most people who do would I agree I turned out okay. I wouldn't change a thing about the way I was raised either. Personally I think this world could use more old school.

 

[default]

Sammy

Do you even understand what is being said?

The coaches were physically slapping the young 6 to 8 year old kids on the pads to the point where the child falls to the ground due to the force, and hitting them on the top of the helmet with the playbook asking what was wrong with them. Is this teaching the kids the fundamentals of football? No, yet you seem to be okay with this.

Your first post had to do with kids hitting kids, yet you equate that to coaches hitting kids somehow. Yes, it is a violent sport, but the physical violence should be between the players and during plays only. Among many other things, a good football coach teaches the kid to flip the switch on during a play, and flip the switch off once the play ends. If coaches would enforce this, there would probably not be as many issues in the classroom as Softballmom25 states, who is a teacher by the way. You either did not play football or you played for horrible coaches.

Also in your first post, you state that the reason many girls do not play friday night football is because the boys are twice as big and nearly twice as strong. How many youth football coaches do you know that are the same size and strength of a 6 to 8 year old? The coaches should not be pushing the kids around, pads or no pads.

The question is: Is a coach slapping the kids pads hard enough to make them fall down physically abuse? The answer Sammy is YES, and if the parent allows that kind of behavior then they are probably physically abusive to their child as well. Also, Softballmom25 does not say that there are problems with all young football players, she just states that there is a marked issue.

I played youth football and I loved it. I was a linebacker and my main job was to pursue and destroy the person with the ball. I was taught how to turn it on and turn it off. I was taught to play fair and be a good kid off the field. My youth coach made sure we kept at least a "B" average or we were not allowed to play. We were good....we were city champs 2 out of 4 years, and out of the 40 or so players on the team, there was only one problem child I know of, and his father was an abusive alcoholic.

Len

 

[default]

Nearly every boy I went to grade school with carried a pocket knife, in a day where paddling was still "legal" in school. Even with all that violent paddling going on, not a single one of the teachers was stabbed by us knife wielding heathens. Wow... have times changed. Speaking of violence, my dad would have KILLED me if I so much as given a dirty look at a teacher.

My point? There is a distinction between downright abuse, both physical and mental. I would never condone abusing small children OR teenagers for that matter. INTENTIONALLY knocking a kid (boy or girl) to the ground IS abuse in my book. But I wasn't there to witness this - therefore I do not know the context.

Sorry Shockwave for going off on a tangent; didn't mean to hijack...

P.S. Lenski, I wouldn't expect you to garner anything from my posts anyway - maybe just ignore them?

 

[default]

Ok, my youngest DD is a cheerleader, I'm forced to accept this . BUt while attending the pee-wee game to watch her cheer, I was simply shocked at how the coaches talked to the boys and treated them. This was 6-8 year olds and just not at one game but 3 total and the same behavior from both sides.

Coaches screaming at the boys, slapping them hard enough on the pads to make them fall and hitting them on top of their helmets with their play books asking what was wrong with them.

The parents sit back and accept this that its making their sons into men. You'd never, and I mean never get away with this with girls. Any thoughts?

I coached youth football for a few years in two different states -- what you described here is not acceptable coaching behavior. Getting loud and excited is one thing but demoralizing and demeaning a child will turn that kid off to football for the rest of his life.

I always told the other coaches and parents that at this age, our number one goal is to increase the child's love of the sport. Football is a tough full contact activity but it's also a lot of fun when played with energy and enthusiasm.