You can't always Save your DD

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School ball is coming to an exciting end to many area players and families, as district tourneys and the final weeks of playing are surely determining who is ready to take their play to the next level. i was teasing my own DD about their "all out" mantra over the last few weeks (as in, let's try and score against Gahanna for once)--and wondering why they wait until now to implement such a strategy (like the last 2 minutes of an NBA game, oh NOW they want to play defense!)....anyways, I specifically remember many threads and postings beating up school ball for some of the reasons below:

not enough playing time
daddy ball
i play travel and rest of team doesn't therefore I get to complain
playing JV instead of Varsity
my coach is just a glorified teacher looking for a paycheck
etc etc etc

my own DD has been mostly on the bench again, and this year is going much different than last year. While i do get frustrated (mainly because i haven't been to too many games this season, with younger DD's dance classes, my own bible study classes and grad classes going on), i'm sharing it only with my wife as of late. When i open the email and think of sending something to my coach, i don't. When my DD comes home frustrated, i ask her if she's been going "all out," if she's been cheering, if she's using practice to get better. she's gone from wondering who this person she's talking to is her dad or not, to asking advice and sharing with me more than ever.
Recently, she had one of those conversations with her coach that would only have happened had she not went on her own. and I wonder if she's not working on being a college player, a good person, a person who won't crumble under pressure and can handle what's being thrown to her. So, I didn't intervene and it felt wonderful.
I'm not in any hurry to get to travel ball, that in itself will be fun and enjoyable once it gets here. I hope all the parents out there are doing well because every disparaging remark about their team and coach, etc only goes against what we want them to become as young ladies.

 

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I for one really like my DD's high school coaches, I think they are doing an outstanding job......... It up to my DD to earn her spot, to keep her spot and to enjoy the game...I can do nothing for her if she does not want it or does not want to keep it or does not enjoy

 

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Statman, unfortunately your positive attitude seem to be in the minority. I feel as if these coaches are human. Playing time, etc. are all based on the opinions of these coaches. Everyone wants to win so I doubt the coaches play lesser players intentionally.

My daughter is playing JV this season. She pitches and regularly strikes out 12-15 per game with a season high of 18. The only runs she allows are usually due to errors on defense. I haven't said a word to the varsity coach even though the varsity pitching has struggled. This is the coaches show.

 

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but i challenge anyone to offer any attitude to the contrary. How much time do we spend analyzing, saying "my DD plays on this team so therefore we get to air our sour opinion on the entire town, or "if our coach made a walking taco like he coaches, we'd ask for our money back!"....in the end, what our attitude is at home to the DD's situation will determine how she will eventually act when they are on their own. Is that we we want our DD's to aspire to?

 

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My dd doesn't play high school ball because I cannot afford the $500 pay-to-play per sport fee, especially since we are not even in a league anymore. I wish she could because I always enjoyed playing high school ball but I am glad just the same to avoid all the mess that comes with it.

 

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klump, that's the case for 2 girls we know. to pay just as much in school ball as in travel, wow, and like us here, if we pay it now we will always be expected to pay it. The days of "free" school ball are probably about over.

 

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My dd doesn't play high school ball because I cannot afford the $500 pay-to-play per sport fee, especially since we are not even in a league anymore. I wish she could because I always enjoyed playing high school ball but I am glad just the same to avoid all the mess that comes with it.

A school in are area went this root and the numbers are down, no JV team and it's to bad we all grew up with high school sports and most kids enjoy it. Reguardless of what we think about it, it is something are kids will always remember, just as we do. Back in my day my parents wouldn't even think of going to the coach they said if I wanted to know something then ask.

 

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blue, we live in a world where our frustration can be found on blogs, message boards, facebook, twitter and the like. the days of being silent are over, whether thats good or bad. Silence this season has been good, i clap, i cheer, i smile and sometimes the poison still follows u in the form of another parent who wants to get you all fired up. i told our travel coach i can sit down the left field line but i cant take score from that far away

 

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Did he say " Get Binoculars" ???? ... LOL

Softball is more fun when you are relaxed, huh Statman ? People will figure it out one day.

 

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blue, we live in a world where our frustration can be found on blogs, message boards, facebook, twitter and the like. the days of being silent are over, whether thats good or bad. Silence this season has been good, i clap, i cheer, i smile and sometimes the poison still follows u in the form of another parent who wants to get you all fired up. i told our travel coach i can sit down the left field line but i cant take score from that far away

Statman that's exactly where I do sit down which ever outfield fence the dug out is on. That way I can sit and complain to who is with me only. I'm not coaching so I have to deal with what the coaches believe (don't always think it is best, none of us do: but is their decisions). My DD is only in Middle School Club ball, and she has asked to not play anymore this season. Due to the coaches being un-reasonable about certain things, and for the most part it is only directed at 2 girls (both have played travel ball for 4-5 years respectively). So I told her it is her decision......she has to decide what is best for her, and her frustration with a game she loves and does well in on her travel team is not worth the school team making her dislike the game.

 

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The frustrations that seem go with school sports just reinforces my belief that there shouldn't be school sports. In this day and age there a amble opportunities for kids to play sports with rec and travel. Schools should stick with academic's. They surely could use the extra effort in that area.Taxpayers that don't have kids in school or do but don't play sports shouldn't have to subsidize the ones that do. Our pay to play was $100 for my DD to play softball in middle school this year. That did not cover all the costs so my neighbors had to foot the bill. Don't see how that is right. Add to it the politics and goofy rules. We just need to do away with it. JMHO

 

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Statman, I agree. Your post on this are right on IMO.

quakerman, I like the relax thing it is more enjoyable.

 

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Statman.

Daddyball occurs in travel ball in most cases more than high school ball. Dads are not the high school coach or manager in most cases. Saw it twice last year in travel with both of my kids teams, same organization to, both manager's kids play 2nd base and should be at the corners. One kid was hurt all year with some strange injury that the Cleveland Clinic couldn't even figure out. She sat out the whole winter but made a great recovery just intime for travel ball unless of course she had a bad game then the injury resurfaced again. Only until the next week. My kid and one other kid pointed this out and were black balled for it. Manager was offended but took it out on the kids that spoke up. The bottom line is the rest of the kids know what is going on. My kid took it all in and made a different approach to getting school help. She worked harder on her grades and has been accepted at Pitt. She is getting a ton of help with grants and small scholarships and such for her grades and oh ya. She has been contacted about walking on. I do not think she will though because she knows that ball is over in a few years anyway. She is getting financial help, just not from ball. Grades and education will go a lot further than ball. At the end of the day I am very proud of the way she reacted to daddy ball.

Kujo

 

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Statman, I agree. Your post on this are right on IMO.

quakerman, I like the relax thing it is more enjoyable.

People will figure it out one day, Bluelight and then they will see what Statman says about having enjoyed the time with your DD playing the game that you BOTH so dearly love.

When people figure that out... softball will be fun again with a whole lot less drama which is a benefit for not only the game.. but for the DD's.

Root them on to victory.. other than that.. shut the heck up... LOL

I'm glad I am not a coach with a big budget. My team would consist of 13 girls with parents who are absolutely rooting for the girls... never say anything to any umpire at all.. that's my job as a coach and if I get thrown out.. guess what... I got two assistants to take over for the rest of the game....

And you think some of these umpires don't take it personal... you better get a clue. Personally I could care less as I do the best I can do... bottom line.

Educate yourselves on the spirit of softball.. fun.. friendships that last a lifetime and character. That's the only thing in the world that matters.

 

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That and a nice a$$!!

 

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Ok Ive been bitting my tounge so long on this subject....now that my teeth have made it all the way through and are grinding on each other here we go.

This year has been pure catastrophe in my hometown:

DD(pitcher) has been part of the HS program(so called) for three years. Actually been working with the coach since she was 9. Had her first Varsity win as a 14 year old freshman filling in for an injured pitcher although she was JV. Over the years the coach has always asked things of her ( grades,attitude, maturity, ect, ect) which she has always improved on. Through her freshman and sophmore years when ever a Varsity pitcher was injured she was called upon and performed to win more than a few games. This year she never missed a conditioning or practice. During tryouts DD was third out of approx 30 prospective players on the coaches "point system" and tied for third in base speeds. The first three scrimmages DD did not allow one earned run the innings she pitched which was split to give them practice on the season, the other pitcher(freshman) allowed 20 earned runs. The local news paper does thier softball preview and he is quoted as to saying that he is putting the ball into the hands of the freshman. When I asked him about it he said that he was misquoted and even told the team that he was misquoted. The softball preview was also available online and people were allowed to leave comments....My DD was bashed!!!! Called a failure among other negative comments...The freshman was praised, a comment was left saying "she will take us to state". I asked the coach( who I have been friends with for 7 years) to please leave a comment stating that he was mis quoted and to defend his player. He said "I don't comment on those things". DD went to him with her frustrations and was basicaly turned away. The next three games the freshman was started....my DD benched. The only reason she was pitched at all after that was when the freshman was sore/hurt.

DD lost all respect for this coach after all this. Her pitching did a nosedive she wasn't allowed to hit and was called in as a pinch runner once which she did go from first to third on a bunt and the took home on a sac fly. It got to a point where she lost ALL intrest in a sport she loves. She came to me and said "Why am I doing this if it's not making me any better I'm losing my touch"

The point is you can't always save your DD but in this situation DW and I eventually got to point that we let DD make her own choice. She politely let the coach know the next day that she was leaving the team to get ready for her travel team season. She is still friends with all the players and they all still love her(including the freshman pitcher) and she has not tarnished her 4.0 grade average(for the grades she always thanks Edgeoo, I don't know what you said to her that day on the field but it worked big guy!). We practice every other day and she is back to where she was(if not better) pitching wise. She can not wait for travel ball, to be back with her coaches and friends but most of in her own words "give respest and get it back"

BTW the progarm has had 1 winning season in 10 years and this years record so far in the GMC is 5-11(5-15 overall) Someone asked "how do you know when a coach has been coaching too long" well.............

 

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Statman,
Those were excellent words, and I am glad you shared. Your daughter will be all the more better, and I wish you the best.

 

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thanks for sharing CJT! Your stories and countless others on this site is what makes softball so great, and that the OFC is here to share those words. I sympathize with your situation, and i have many more that will never be published from other folks just as passionate as you. In the end, making it her decision is what makes it all worthwhile. I've seen too many dads and moms consumed (myself included) by the things we tell ourselves, the comments we hear from others and suspicion driven from within. There's too much on the line in the form of our precious DD's to do otherwise

 

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$500? WOW! I will never ever complain again about my dd's $150 pay to participate fee! lol

My dd doesn't play high school ball because I cannot afford the $500 pay-to-play per sport fee, especially since we are not even in a league anymore. I wish she could because I always enjoyed playing high school ball but I am glad just the same to avoid all the mess that comes with it.

 

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$500? WOW! I will never ever complain again about my dd's $150 pay to participate fee! lol

It's supposed to go up to $750 next year , good luck fielding any teams.