Softball Jokes! ?Let's Hear Em'!

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #1

Got a softball joke for you all! ?Anybody else have a rib-splitter? ?By all means, post it here!

*On the last day of tournament the coach was talking to one of his players. "Look, here is 5 bucks," he said. "Go out and buy a new ball or something....anything that will help us win." The game began and the coach noticed that the same old ball was being used. He called his player over and asked "what did you do with the 5 bucks I gave you?" The player replied, "well, you said anything to help us win so I gave it to the umpire."
;D

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #2

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #3

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #4

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #5

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #6

haha. ?Nice one eatsleep!! ?;D ;D

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #7

My Personal Favorite!

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #8

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #9

eatsleep all of those are great. I have one of those 500,00 mile cars. LOL ;D ;D

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #10

Here's one I found:



A little girl was trying to raise $100 for her softball team. She prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then she decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the President of the United States. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little girl a $5 bill.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little girl. The little girl was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:

Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #11

You know you're a softball junkie if...


1. You need a second job (or your parents do) just to pay for gloves, bats, equipment, uniforms, player fees, batting cages, etc...

2. Your second job is umpiring at softball games.

3. Your idea of spending quality time with your spouse is playing on the same co-ed team.

4. You have more than one bat that cost over $200.

5. You go to the softball fields on nights your team isn't even playing.

6. You used to rest and relax on the weekends, now the only rest you get is between games at a tournament.

7. You think "wearing something nice" means an all-tournament shirt with no dirt stains.

8. When someone says they are going out of town this weekend you ask if there is a tournament there.

9. All your white socks have dirt stains from playing softball.

10. Your idea of a weekend getaway is a two-day tournament in (insert town name).

11. You have a tattoo that says softball forever.

12. You plan your summer vacation each year around the state softball tournament.

13. You own more softball t-shirts than pairs of underwear.

14. Your girlfriend / boyfriend knows when you ask them out to dinner you really mean pizza after the game.

15. You tape your bat handles with various designs and use only tape with team colors.

16. You have a softball website.


Well I'm about 11 for 16 here..........

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #12

Number 7. ? ;D ;D ?That one is sooo true in my family. ?

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #13

You know you have been to a Bugtussle Tire Battery and Ice Cream Parlor (BTBICP) tournament when:

1. Instead of tournament T-shirts they have tournament Carthart Jackets.
2. The home team wore "John Deere" visors
3. The home team addressed the home plate umpire as "grandpa"
4. Parents were "whittling bats" in the bleachers
5. The concession stand was raided by the ATF agents
6. Jethro Bodine sang the national anthem
7. When complaining to the umpire about the other team's tobacco use - he pulls out a chaw of Red Man
8. With 11 girls on the team there were 472 relatives in the bleachers
9. The confederate flag flew on the flag pole outside of center field
10. Cow "patties" are considered part of the playing field
11. When the concession stand worker grabbed a shovel and headed to the highway to "get more meat for the grill"

last, but not least...

12. The team cheer is "Get R Done"

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #14

LOVE?the BTBICP posts!

 

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• Sep 27, 2007

• #15

Half a million on the mileage.LOL You practically have to donate your personal vehicle as part of the sacrifice of travel softball.

 

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• Sep 28, 2007

• #16

Yes number 7 does sound a bit familiar. ;D ;D The number 9 of dirt stains on your white socks applies to the coaches too. I am only 9 for 16. What is wrong with me? LOL ;D ;D

 

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• Sep 28, 2007

• #17

Johnnies said:

You know you have been to a Bugtussle Tire Battery and Ice Cream Parlor (BTBICP) tournament when:

1. Instead of tournament T-shirts they have tournament Carthart Jackets.
2. The home team wore "John Deere" visors
3. The home team addressed the home plate umpire as "grandpa"
4. Parents were "whittling bats" in the bleachers
5. The concession stand was raided by the ATF agents
6. Jethro Bodine sang the national anthem
7. When complaining to the umpire about the other team's tobacco use - he pulls out a chaw of Red Man
8. With 11 girls on the team there were 472 relatives in the bleachers
9. The confederate flag flew on the flag pole outside of center field
10. Cow "patties" are considered part of the playing field
11. When the concession stand worker grabbed a shovel and headed to the highway to "get more meat for the grill"

last, but not least...

12. The team cheer is "Get R Done"

Click to expand...

Johnnies you forgot to mention the home-made beef jerky and the fried green tomatoes and ocra at the snak shak! It's GOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!! ;D ;D

 

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• Sep 28, 2007

• #18

...and Lynrd Skynrd or Molly Hatchet playing on a radio behind the counter!

 

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• Sep 28, 2007

• #19

nice touch C-F-F..........it's the details that make the scene come to life.

 

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• Sep 28, 2007

• #20

One day the Devil challenged the Lord to a future softball game. Smiling the Lord said, "You won't stand a chance. I'll have the whole USA Olympic team with Lisa, Dot, and all the greatest players up here." "Yes", snickered the Devil, "but I'll have all the umpires."

And for all your Umpires out there......

An Umpires View Of Softball

- How many softball players does it take to screw in a light bulb? ?
Impossible! They are too busy complaining about the last call.

- What is the difference between a softball player and a puppy? ?
A puppy will eventually stop whining!

- What do you call a basement full of softball players? ?
A whine cellar.