Coaches not shaking hands

default · May 28, 2008

I am going "play" devil's advocate on this one. ?If the opposing coach is disrespecting your team for 90 minutes....and I mean, obnoxiously.... could it be considered hypocritical to shake his hand?? ?Let's look at the meaning of the hand shake. ?Doesn't it mean a sign of respect and friendship from one person to the next??? ?If this coach has not earned your respect and actually has earned your disreespect because of his actions, does shaking his hand reinforce his bevaviour??

Before you jump on ?me for this post, I am not advocating that we should shake or not shake... I am just throwing out a different perception.

default · May 28, 2008

Always shake the girl's hands. Sometimes it's ok to walk past the other coach or ump!

default · May 28, 2008

Fast2Home said:
I am going "play" devil's advocate on this one. ?If the opposing coach is disrespecting your team for 90 minutes....and I mean, obnoxiously.... could it be considered hypocritical to shake his hand?? ?Let's look at the meaning of the hand shake. ?Doesn't it mean a sign of respect and friendship from one person to the next??? ?If this coach has not earned your respect and actually has earned your disreespect because of his actions, does shaking his hand reinforce his bevaviour??

Before you jump on ?me for this post, I am not advocating that we should shake or not shake... I am just throwing out a different perception.

You put into words what I was thinking, and I agree, respect should be earned, not a given.

default · Jun 1, 2008

It really depends on the situation, It may have nothing to do with the game. I know of one coach, who shouldn't be coaching kids, who has done some sick things off of the field, has not been convicted of anything yet. We had to play this team win or lose I would not expect people who know this idiot to shake his hand. Sometimes it's better not to handshake then to handshake and do or say something far worse.

Usually if someone doesn't shake a hand after a game, it probably had nothing to do with the game let alone if it was won or lost. There is always more to the story.

default · Jun 1, 2008

Lady Knights gets it.

default · Jun 1, 2008

You are correct in saying, to get respect you have to earn it but.....if the coaches have issues with each other that doesn't give them the right to disrespect the girls. Thats whats wrong with some teams now, the coaches forget why they are coaching. If they cannot respect the girls..... then they shouldn't be coaching the girls!!!! Its not about the coaches, its about the girls!!!!

default · Jun 2, 2008

curveball1 said:
It really depends on the situation, It may have nothing to do with the game. ?I know of one coach, who shouldn't be coaching kids, who has done some sick things off of the field, has not been convicted of anything yet. ?We had to play this team win or lose I would not expect people who know this idiot to shake his hand. ?Sometimes it's better not to handshake then to handshake and do or say something far worse.

Usually if someone doesn't shake a hand after a game, it probably had nothing to do with the game let alone if it was won or lost. ?There is always more to the story.

IF he is doing sick things off the field, his organazation should not allow him to coach :-X

default · Jun 2, 2008

I don't see lining up and walking past each other and touching hands and saying "good game" as being a gesture of anything except following a tradition that isn't really a tradition. We never lined up to shake hands after any game that I ever played. (I think they've been doing it in hockey forever, but not baseball, basketball or football). That does not mean, however, that we never shook hands.

As a matter of fact, I would often go over to the other team's side on my own and seek out a player (maybe even a pitcher who had struck me out) or the coach and shake hands and actually have a conversation about the game. It was a sign of respect for something well done. I see this as being a meaningful act, rather than just a meaningless "good game, good game, good game" thing. Tell me the last time one of your girls in the "good game, good game, good game" line actually stopped and talked to another player (if they weren't already friends) and spent a couple of minutes chatting about the game.

I don't think coaches really have an obligation to walk through that line. I think a coach who is a good sport will go over and actually shake the other coaches's hands or a particular player's hand after a particularly good game. If you're a good coach and you respected the way the other coach handled his team and himself, then you shake his hand and talk with him. If the guy was a jerk, then I say give him a wave or just pack up the equipment while the "good game, good game" stuff is going on. It's a message that the guy has to earn your handshake.

Just sayin'.......

default · Jun 2, 2008

Playedout ... it is a tradition in girls fastpitch ball ... it doesn't really matter if it is in other sports or when you played. You are right that you should take an extra minute to chat with a coach or player you respect and who did very well. But as a coach, who is setting an example for young athletes, you do have that obligation to go through that line whether you like what the other team did or not. If the other coach did some so heinous to really disrespect your team, the end of the line is a good place to calmly discuss that as well, but I would contend that most of the disrespect cited is nothing that bad and often just people being sore losers.

default · Jun 2, 2008

The coach is the leader of the team and their sportmanship is reflected onto the team, good or bad. The Coach should be polite to the team and to their "(adjective)" coach, then have a private word with them off the field. One thing that really gets under peoples skin, without making you look bad too, my mother taught me. Kill them with kindness, it makes you feel good and makes them feel like a jerk, the perfect remedy. ?

default · Jun 2, 2008

A big atta boy to Rick for shaking hands, or trying to, on Saturday. I can't believe that guy wasn't tossed. Did Blue not hear? anyway, good job sucking that one up.

default · Jun 2, 2008

How about the so called "coach" who won't even shake hands before a game. let alone after the game when his team loses. then tell the winning girls not to do a sportsmanship tunnel and cheer because they won't go through it.

poor sportsmanship disgusts me!! >

default · Jun 2, 2008

I agree with Rhino Guy. I thought I had seen it all till last year. A coach didn't like the outcome of a game so he had all the girls spit on their hands. Then they got in line to shake our hands. I found out after the game, when the coach had left. Probably a good thing, he had left. He sure is teaching kids great respect for each other.

default · Jun 2, 2008

RhinoGuy said:
How about the so called "coach" who won't even shake hands before a game. ?let alone after the game when his team loses. ?then tell the winning girls not to do a sportsmanship tunnel and cheer because they won't go through it.

poor sportsmanship disgusts me!! ? ?>

I'll probably take some heat for this but....

We always shake hands and try to leave the field on good terms, but I don't particulary care for the "sportsmanship tunnel." It sort of reminds me of the Bad News Bears "2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate..." cheer. Hey you won, congrats, good game now don't rub it in as we get back to our dugout.

default · Jun 2, 2008

TheRinger said:
[quote author=RhinoGuy link=1211767494/25#31 date=1212433084]How about the so called "coach" who won't even shake hands before a game. ?let alone after the game when his team loses. ?then tell the winning girls not to do a sportsmanship tunnel and cheer because they won't go through it.

poor sportsmanship disgusts me!! ? ?>

I'll probably take some heat for this but....

We always shake hands and try to leave the field on good terms, but I don't particulary care for the "sportsmanship tunnel." It sort of reminds me of the Bad News Bears "2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate..." cheer. Hey you won, congrats, good game now don't rub it in as we get back to our dugout.[/quote]

I actually agree with you. I find it to be very demeaning.

default · Jun 2, 2008

Ringer --------- i agree with the tunnel thing, but its about the girls. you would have to know mine. they are not rubbing anything in. as a matter of fact, we were playing a game Sunday and my RF would tell the opposing players good job every time she came off the field by their dugout. she kept telling me that they would not even say thank you. we weren't winning. that really hurt her feelings.

i can not explain poor sportsmanship to the girls because i just don't understand it!!!

default · Jun 2, 2008

"Sportsmanship Tunnels" and the "Go, go, through, through" chant are stupid, demeaning, and absolutely nothing more than one last dig at a team that just got beat. My daughter never walked through one and I never faulted her for it. Shake hands and then move on to the next field.

default · Jun 2, 2008

My first post, but I can?t resist any longer. My daughter played in the Rising Star Tournament this weekend. They played for the championship in the 10U division. The game had almost ended and they were winning when the opposing team?s leader of their organization, not a coach, protested a call and was thrown out of the game by the ump. He refused to leave and was warned that if he didn?t leave they would have to forfeit the game. He then pulled the team from the field. Does this happen often???

The coaches/players did shake hands at the end with our players. Kudos to the coaches! The leader of the organization was still not done as he then started protesting the age of two of our players. He made such an @$$ of himself while on the field and then during his hunt for birth certificates, in front of our girls, his team and all of the parents involved. We have to learn that our girls (and new parents to tournament ball) need to have a positive experience especially at the 10U level if we are going to continue to grow the sport. I think we as parents, coaches and tournament directors have a responsibility to make the experience one they won?t forget?for the right reasons.

default · Jun 2, 2008

Let me add something about the the Rizing Starz incident. Yes, it was a Dad involved who was obnoxious. He was also the coach of their 12U team and was not much better there. He was very hard on his own daughter.
In due respect to the team, the head coach approached me before the game was half over and said that he wanted to have birth certificates checked on two of the physically larger girls (pitcher and catcher). After the game, I, as Tournament Director quietly approached the head coach and asked for the birth certificates. If word of this got out to parents, it was done within that organization, I believe. The protesting team, other than the one Dad was quite about it.... or at least, I was not aware of any other "noise".
Fortunately it does not happen often. I for one will be aware of this organization in any of our tournaments and be ready to deal with any obnoxious behavior in a quick and decisive manner.

default · Jun 2, 2008

DJSoftballJG & Fast2Home,
I'm glad you posted something about this. Our team was on the field across from yours, when this incident happened. I didn't see the whole thing, but saw enough to be really confused, so I am glad you explained. I heard the guy yelling at the ump, and told the girls that they were leaving. But then, the girls lined up for the "good game" line and stayed for trophies. And I thought to myself, if you are that upset, why would you stay for trophies. Makes much more sense now. What a shame for the girls on that team. The looks on their faces....I felt really bad for them.

Coaches not shaking hands

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