Courtesy to the Player

default · Aug 25, 2009

Have not had to go to too many tryouts in my DD's baseball career ( 1 in 9 years) My question is very simple.

If a player takes the time to go to a try out is it not appropriate for the team involved to be respectful to the player ?

Things I have heard from others or have personally witnessed.

Coaches state contact will be made regardless of outcome of try out - yet no correspondence if you don't make the team.

Coaches state they will make a decision at a later date efter they evaluate the prospects - yet they pull girls a side after try outs in front of the other girls and offer spots (probally the most unprofessional)

Coaches offer spots then change their mind a week later - when the next best thing comes along.

I realize the easy answer is you do not want to play for any organization that does this, how ever Some coaches need to just get your heads out of where the sun doesn't shine. If they take the time to show up give them the common courtesy they deserve.

default · Aug 25, 2009

I have seen coaches talk to players after tryouts to offer them positions, and often that would be important in order to get they player they want. There is a tactful way of doing it though.

I have never heard of a coach changing his/her mind after offering a position.

default · Aug 25, 2009

There is no easy way to go about it, period. But if my future SS shows up, or pitcher shows up, you bet I will pull their parents aside. I am sorry if it upsets your daughter or you. There simply is no way to make this any less painful than it is. Maybe they are pulling them aside to tell them they want to see them again at the next tryout. The option is always available to come back if the player felt they didnt have the best tryout. We didnt offer any spots at any of our first tryouts. We started too at our second tryout when these players came back. So the relationship has already began to be established. Its tough, and I am sure that there is not any coach out there that likes to look at a kid and tell them they are not good enough.

But,,,,,,But, if you are a parent and your kid is substantly far less talented than the GOLD team she is trying out for. Heres your sign..so to speak.

default · Aug 25, 2009

Akadema1 said:
There is no easy way to go about it, period. But if my future SS shows up, or pitcher shows up, you bet I will pull their parents aside. I am sorry if it upsets your daughter or you. There simply is no way to make this any less painful than it is. Maybe they are pulling them aside to tell them they want to see them again at the next tryout. The option is always available to come back if the player felt they didnt have the best tryout. We didnt offer any spots at any of our first tryouts. We started too at our second tryout when these players came back. So the relationship has already began to be established. Its tough, and I am sure that there is not any coach out there that likes to look at a kid and tell them they are not good enough.

But,,,,,,But, if you are a parent and your kid is substantly far less talented than the GOLD team she is trying out for. Heres your sign..so to speak.

Well said Akadema !

default · Aug 25, 2009

How about some courtesy to the coaches? These are TRAVEL BALL TRYOUTS! How many parents are bringing children who can barely throw the ball across the infield, can't catch a fly ball and can't hit a pitch thrown faster than 40 MPH to these tryouts? You wouldn't encourage a child who can't sing on key to enter a talent show, would you? Then why are you bringing a child who can't compete at the travel level to the travel tryouts? Do you enjoy her embarrassment? Personally, I've seen some tremendous restraint and unbelieveable manners on the part of coaches at these tryouts. They're all very polite and positive.

I'd be going through the line five minutes into these things and weeding out about 75 percent of the group to keep the event from turning into a marathon. Here's a tip: If you don't want your child to be subjected to a possibly embarrassing situation, then find out if she can play BEFORE you go to the tryouts. That goes for EVERYTHING she's going to do in life. It's ok to try. It's ok to fail. But some kids can play the piano and some kids can't. There's nothing wrong with letting them push on the keys a little and make some noise. But when the concert begins, it's time for the ones who can't play to buy a ticket. Find something your child does well and steer her toward THAT for SERIOUS development. If she likes to play ball? Call the rec center.

default · Aug 25, 2009

First off don't assume my feelings or my daughters feeling were hurt. They are not - she made the team she wanted to play for.

My only point in starting the topic is that I got to see and hear first hand parent complaints. We have not had to go to many try outs - maybe this is the norm.

I do not intend to bash any organization or coach - I used to coach and I know it can be at some times a thankless task.

I only bring it up because as organizations and coaches one should be courtesy to all. I cannot belive a phone call later or e-mail in todays technological world will make you miss that key player you so seek.

Again - no complaints to anyone - just a heads up to common courtesy.

default · Aug 25, 2009

FstPtchctchrdad said:
First off don't assume my feelings or my daughters feeling were hurt. They are not - she made the team she wanted to play for.

My only point in starting the topic is that I got to see and hear first hand parent complaints. We have not had to go to many try outs - maybe this is the norm.

I do not intend to bash any organization or coach - I used to coach and I know it can be at some times a thankless task.

I only bring it up because as organizations and coaches one should be courtesy to all. I cannot belive a phone call later or e-mail in todays technological world will make you miss that key player you so seek.

Again - no complaints to anyone - just a heads up to common courtesy.

I have seen the same thing this year and guys come on nobody is THAT busy. Even know of a player that tried out twice for one team, after telling the player that they would know within two days, didnt get a call she called them back and asked her to come back again and try out again she did and again "I'll let you know in a few days" a week later nothing

What is that teaching (AKA coaching)? If you say you are going to call then call, even if it's not easy telling someone no. Just don't see any excuse in it

default · Aug 25, 2009

Very good post by Akadema. As a parent, you need to develop a realistic perspective of your DD's skill level. This is extremely helpful in finding a team that matches her ability. If you make the decision to go for the top, be prepared to take what comes! It may not be a happy outcome.

Coaches are focused on building a team that can compete at the level they have become accustomed to. Coaches that INTENTIONALLY disrespect players at tryouts will not last long. Of the teams I know of that play at a consistent high level, all of the coaches are respectful, and would NOT intentionally try to hurt a player's feelings.

On the positive side - for every door that closes, another one opens. If your DD truly has the burning desire to play on one of these teams, don't take no for an answer! Teach her to go out and prove to the coach who snubbed her that she's capable of playing on his/her team - maybe not THIS summer, but next. Work hard with QUALIFIED instructors over the winter. Make sure she's got "the right stuff" to impress the coach. Lots of things need mental focus and discipline more than anything - hustle, being polite, etc.

I'm not saying that your DD isn't a good ball player at all! But evidently, these coaches didn't see her fitting into their mix. Striving for the top is a constant battle, and the discipline of hard work must be ingrained to get there.

default · Aug 25, 2009

We are new to travel ball this year & I have to say that at every tryout we went to the coaches followed up as they said they would w/ either a phone call or email. One said if you don't hear from us by such & such day, you did not make the team & I'm fine w/ that.
It appears we picked reliable teams to tryout for.

default · Aug 25, 2009

At 12u are first travel tryout we tryied out for the heat and Scott Urton. After the tryout he said your daughter is athletic and has potential. Come back and see me next year.
I could see my dd was not at the level of the girls on the field and had full respect for the coach to come up and tell me what to work on and give it a try next year.
We found a place that year.

This year what I found out I dont like from another org. is for a coach to have tryout after tryout and have multiple returning players and leave all these girls hanging when the team only needed a few position players.

Straightleg

default · Aug 25, 2009

A few years back we went to a tryout where
"Coaches state they will make a decision at a later date efter they evaluate the prospects - yet they pull girls a side after try outs in front of the other girls and offer spots."

A few years ago, we were one of those inexperienced travel softball parents taking our dd to 5 different tryouts. My daughter was offered a spot on several teams and at one of the last tryouts we attended, we were told they would let everybody know if they made the team in 2 weeks. Other teams needed an answer before then, so we were ready to walk away at that point. We didn't want to take the chance at losing out on the other opportunities.

We changed our mind and decided to stay and were offered a spot immediately after tryouts. I think coaches need to be cautious about what they say to prospective players at tryouts. I'm sure there are a lot of people who don't know how different organizations or teams work, so you may get unintended consequences. As inexperienced parents we may have just walked away.

default · Aug 25, 2009

One thing is certain --tryouts are like Dating or trying to get that "special person" to take you to the prom. You never knowwhen the invite may or may not come. And there isn't any guide or rule book, you just hope for honest communication. But it can be a trying ordeal -- Our family got a small taste of the game this fall, can't say we enjoyed it . One thing that should be done for sure after completing a roster is notifying the kids who did'nt make it. A simple email could take care of that. MD

default · Aug 25, 2009

Great post by Akadema1 and Sammy. But top it off with what ManitouDan said, "One thing that should be done for sure after completing a roster is notifying the kids who did'nt make it. A simple email could take care of that."

default · Aug 25, 2009

I think all FstPtchctchrdad was saying is if you coaches tell someone you are going to contact them..........then contact them. If you tell them two days then make it two days! Do what you say you are going to do...if you don't intend to follow through......don't say it. This isn't an issue specific to travel ball it is something people should learn when they are still in grade school. It's that simple.

default · Aug 25, 2009

This is really the most agonizing part of the travel ball season. But we're learning it really defines what kind of people you're dealing with, in judging organizations, and parents as well.

default · Aug 25, 2009

I agree, my DD went to a few tryouts some said they would call by a certain date and did and some called before and some never called at all. Which tells alot bout the organization. As far as offering a spot in front of the other girls I don't have a issue with that.

default · Aug 25, 2009

Well said Philbob, The same holds true for parents........if you commit to a team....keep your word. All of our daughters are watching and learning from us as she grows.

default · Aug 25, 2009

Parents, Coaches, People,

This topic stretches far beyond softball...family, work, friends, places you shop, POLITICIANS and more. All of us, some much more than others, need to keep in mind the old saying: "Do what you say and say what you do!"

Perhaps this phrase could be added to the gazillions of t-shirts sold at tournaments.

default · Aug 25, 2009

I think coaches should Call or email, girls put in 2-3 hrs trying out,takes a coach a few minutes to call or email, I don't think thats asking to much.

default · Aug 25, 2009

Yes, but on the other hand what about courtesy to the teams? What about players who contact coaches and state they want to play for them and then except offers from other teams? Isn't it a two way street? To get respect you first have to give respect.

Courtesy to the Player

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