Can I get a poll?

If a coach is offering promises, aren't they in a way telling us that they really want our DD on the team for that specific reason? Maybe it's YOU that can only put us down because your DD has NEVER been promised a position. Maybe you are just happy to spend the money to say your DD made a team or a coach or organization that is happy to get it. After all ask the OFC if they sent us the applications for the coach to fill out and if that coach sent them in. He told us his team was going to pick up the tab! As for those of you so critical about my experience and reactions, I would never want my DD to play on a team that criticizes other players and their family in this way. Look into yourselves and see why this upsets you so much. Maybe there you will find the person that you want to criticise.

We've all dealt with parents like you and it hits home to us all, that is why you are getting so many responses. Unlike you, we don't post our team issues for all to see to try to damage the coaches reputation, we just chalk it up as being better off and move on. When you bring it to this forum and start slinging cr@p, you are opening yourself up for some slinging back so be prepared. Some on here know the other side of the story so everyone isn't going to believe what you are shoveling.

Okay..just so I am understanding, the coach said "We here at Team Blah Blah, want your daughter to play for our organization, we promise she will either playe 3rd, 1st or catch. Additionally, we will always bat her 4th in the lineup." ?????

Maybe the coach just wanted her for the scout team? ROTFLSHIDMT!

If MOM is who I think it is, she has the same reputation in the local REC league and no coach wants to deal with her either. That is why her husband coachs her daughters REC league team. There are also some "stretched" statements being put out.

There is no "A" team worth it's merit that promises a player a position for the season. Players will progress at different rates which is the reason for competition on a team. If a player becomes complacent because a parent is telling them "Your the best and nobody should play before you", they are doomed for failure one way or the other.

This is something that all the parents go through. To assume that Mom is slamming a particular coach or organization expressing her frustration is puzzling to me. I assumed that Mom is not lying because she heard what she heard and understood what she understood. Communication is by necessity a two-way street and some of the burden of clarity falls to the coach.

A more interesting question from this post is how to avoid this kind of misunderstanding between parents, players and coaches. The parents hear what they they want, the coaches say things that can be interpreted a variety of ways, and players that seem to show so much promise at tryouts can be prove to be less skilled in games. What will a coach/team do? Will they work with the kids they got or will they recruit new, better players while the original players rife the pine?

This "soap opera" has ran it's course and needs to go away such the likes of Seinfeld and Friends.


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~*{Mom}*~ said:

After all ask the OFC if they sent us the applications for the coach to fill out and if that coach sent them in. He told us his team was going to pick up the tab!

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NOW you call the NCAA!! ;&

There are plenty of coaches that lie, either promising positions or lie about how good the rest of the team, specifically pitchers, is to entice potentional players but there are A LOT more parents out there that believe their DD's are phenoms as noted in previous posts...

To answer the original question from a players perspective...I have never been 'promised' a position or a spot on a batting line up in travel ball or rec league, just a spot on the roster. The closest I've come is my college coach telling me that she was looking to replace their graduating #1 with me as an incoming freshman; but even then, I did not take that as a promise that I would be the #1. I have been promised fair playing time on past travel teams, I do believe. That's really the only thing a coach should promise..that he/she will try to give each and every player on the team innings. Nobody should pay $300 to sit the bench...but nobody should expect to start every game at their preferred position and bat #4 either, because there are so many other girls on the team that are paying the same amount and driving just as far as you are...so what...they should sit the bench and "pick dandelions" in the outfield? It's a promise a coach shouldn't ever make, and if you are ever promised that, you should know it's a lie and run far away from that coach...
If the situations you are describing are completely accurate, then I am sorry you've had bad teams, but if it's a reoccuring problem, try to take a step back and see what exactly the root of the problem is...remember that the coach has sometimes as many as 14-15 other girls that he needs to get in the game too. If right field (which is a very important role, especially in travel ball where the ball is hit hard in almost every game) is where the coach needs your daughter for that game, she should be happy that she is one of the 9 out of 12-15 girls who is getting to play and that she is not on the bench...sometimes it's hard to keep it in perspective. Also, if she gets moved down to #7 batter she should say to herself "oh man...I'm not performing as well as I can..time to hit the cages!" and work as hard as she can to constantly improve so she will be performing in the games. If she's in the cages for hours a week and is working her butt off to do better and still isn't getting a chance, then you could talk to the coach about it. But if she's performing mediocre and is watching tv in her free time, there is no leverage to complain.
I'll tell you how it works in college, though, because it's not all about fair playing time and there are no promises. Our coach tells us you could be a 3 time all american returning senior center fielder...but you don't have your spot until you beat out that awesome incoming freshman and the other 6 outfielders on the team and prove you deserve it. She also says that if anyone ever comes to talk to her about anything regarding playing time she will have a closed door. You earn your spot, and pretty much the same 9-10 girls out of 20-28 play every game...if you want a spot you need to show you want it and take it; nothing is guaranteed! If your daughter is not playing, there is a reason...it's either because she is not good enough, she is not working hard enough, or there are other girls who are just as qualified as she.

fairman said:

This is something that all the parents go through. To assume that Mom is slamming a particular coach or organization expressing her frustration is puzzling to me. I assumed that Mom is not lying because she heard what she heard and understood what she understood. Communication is by necessity a two-way street and some of the burden of clarity falls to the coach.

A more interesting question from this post is how to avoid this kind of misunderstanding between parents, players and coaches. The parents hear what they they want, the coaches say things that can be interpreted a variety of ways, and players that seem to show so much promise at tryouts can be prove to be less skilled in games. What will a coach/team do? Will they work with the kids they got or will they recruit new, better players while the original players rife the pine?

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Most reputable organizations have hand-outs at try-outs that explain the organization's goals, rules, and policies. If you do not see any hand-outs, ask to see them. If they do not have any (not out-of-stock but nothing published on paper), then look elsewhere for a team. It is not a hard thing for an organization to put policies, rules, and goals in writing and it should be expected.

LADY_KNIGHTS said:

This "soap opera" has ran it's course and needs to go away such the likes of Seinfeld and Friends.

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Yea, this went from amusing to pathetic some time ago.

Drop the shovel, this hole is getting way too deep!

Yes I've read most of the post here and Mom you've had some good advice from OFC members. Most have been there done that won't do it again. Take it and move on.

LK not as dead as that small school horse you keep trotting out !!!!! LOL Had to take this thread somewhere else and that was an easy out sorry LK !!!!! LMAO MY DD plays at a D3 so i am not a big school snob.

OMG :lmao:

~*{Mom}*~ said:

Look. I don't think you are getting where I'm coming from. IF my dd ever plays for a travel team again, I want to know up front what is going to happen. It costs way too much $$ and time to travel for us, (ergo not looking for a team). Our weekly schedule is filled with camps and practices and other extra curricular activities. BELIEVE YOU ME! What is the purpose of spending all that time and money to learn how to play a position she won't play anywhere else. I'm sorry, but I didn't put her on a travel team just to say that she is. I want her to get all the experience she can. I wanted her to play for a team that was more interested in what they looked like ON the field, not what they looked like walking to it.

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You may want to rethink having posted this. . .in the future it could come back to bite you very hard in a variety of ways. 1st, colleges will consider you a potential issue because it's about you and your daughter not about the TEAM. We all understand the cost, the time, the effort, and the mental desire it takes to do this; you should never have been given a promise. But really look at the bigger picture and what you are saying. . .It's about my daughter. . .there are 8 other players on that field with her. 2nd other travel teams do communicate with each other and "team hoppers" are typically know as problems. 3rd, there are no guarantees in any sport and in todays society we seem to think that paying to participate within an organization buys you that right. What it buys you is insurance, uniforms, tournament fees, sanction fees, and other potential items deemed necessary by an organization. 90% of the coaches out here do this for free.

We certainly do not mean to pick on you, but from a coaches perspective and a parent that has had 2 daughter in travel ball, it's a risk you take with any team on play time and positions.

I have not been coaching as long as some of you guys out here in OFC-land. But, could you please help me with some insight on how I could see the great talent like this dd has in tryouts in August, then realize that the parent is going to be a huge headache all season and tell the talented kid to head down the road to the next team?

Attitude trumps skill 99% of the time. I would rather have middle of the road talent with great attitudes (and great parent attitudes), than a team of premodonna stud players with junk attitudes or parents that have welding glasses for mommy/daddy goggles. JMO, but I dont get paid to deal with drama all season long.

I'm sorry. I assumed way too much about how travel ball works. You know why they say you should never assume, because it makes an *** out of u and me. I assumed that travel teams were for showcasing talent. I assumed that a coach chose a player for the team because of how well they played the position that the team needed. I assumed that travel ball was to prep a player for college and for a college to check out the player at their best position. I guess that's why I got so upset. My DD was the last player on that team that should have played r-field. I assumed that the coach knew this and would never have weakened the team in that spot, espesially when playing one of the top teams in Ohio. But, it was the coaches choice. I now know what to look for from a coach at a tryout and what to ask about the organization. As for all the people complaining about the drama, I only asked if anyone else had been lied to by a coach. I guess I should not have assumed that was the only response I would have gotten. Besides, you didn't have to read it, or respond if you thought it was stupid. That was your choice.

Here is the way travel ball works. You find a coach and team you like. Do your due diligence. If you and your DD like the team and are offered a spot you commit for the year and turn your DD over to the coach. Then you sit back, shut up and enjoy the kids playing. You cheer them on only being positive about EVERY player. 11 players with a couple parents and maybe some grandparents, say around 20 to 25 adults are not all going to agree with what the coach does. But you keep quite because you don't have all the info or thoughts into why something was done. Coach can't confer and get consensus on everything they do. Your DD might have been put in the field for a reason you don't know about. If you can't sit back and enjoy with-out butting in or posting all your cr@p on a public forum be honest with your coach and tell him that's is how you are so he knows whats he's getting into. Don't blind side him. Good luck to your daughter. Has to hard on her leaving new friends and teammates.

mustohiofastpitch said:

Here is the way travel ball works. You find a coach and team you like. Do your due diligence. If you and your DD like the team and are offered a spot you commit for the year and turn your DD over to the coach. Then you sit back, shut up and enjoy the kids playing. You cheer them on only being positive about EVERY player. 11 players with a couple parents and maybe some grandparents, say around 20 to 25 adults are not all going to agree with what the coach does. But you keep quite because you don't have all the info or thoughts into why something was done. Coach can't confer and get consensus on everything they do. Your DD might have been put in the field for a reason you don't know about. If you can't sit back and enjoy with-out butting in or posting all your cr@p on a public forum be honest with your coach and tell him that's is how you are so he knows whats he's getting into. Don't blind side him. Good luck to your daughter. Has to hard on her leaving new friends and teammates.

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Exactly.