Adoption/Step Parent Adoption

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Has anyone gone through this process from start to finish here in Ohio? If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom before we begin it, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

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Department of Children Services in your area,or the local Foster care Program.


Gary

 

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Yeah i have been thru it. I was adopted almost 44 years ago, sure beats the alternative.

I commend you on your interest.

If you have any questions from the adoptee point of view please fire away !!!!

 

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hmmm, our situation was a bit different. We fostered a child that went to my wife's school, took the classes and we kept the adoption on the backburner, knowing that foster care is essentially a midway station and that they want children back with their birth parents. but after many classes, interviews, home visits and background checks, we were able to adopt our DD when she was 14. I tend to not speak out in crowds about it, and sometimes I stay away from meetings because some adoptive parents get all "I saved the world" ish, so I wouldn't know how easy/difficult it is to adopt a newborn. but then again, wizard, you know most of that already..let us know how it comes out!

 

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My husband is hopefully going to be adopting my 2 oldest daughters that he has been raising. Our appointment with the lawyer is still a couple weeks out & I'm curious if anyone has any experience with this process. Are the steps & timing of things very different from traditional adoption? My brother in law & his wife adopted my nephew & they had a fairly smooth, but expensive, process, but it was in FL.

 

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The elephant that's sitting in the living room: is your daughters' father still alive and, if so, will he oppose the adoption? Termination of the parental rights of a biological parent over that parent's objection is generally not an easy thing. I haven't looked at the statute in a long, long time and then it was from the standpoint of serving as guardian ad litem for the children, but I'm fairly confident that the key to whether the process is smooth for you centers around the present and past involvement of your daughters' biological parent in their lives and his willingness or unwillingness to see the adoption go through.

 

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cgs gives some sound advice. I'm adopted. Both or my daughters were adopted at birth.
So we have been through the process. Your attorney will walk you through all the steps. We wouldn't change anything. Both are special young ladies, that will brag to you they are adopted.

 

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We were looking to adopt a young child or infant. Went through the classes. Homestudy was next. Then they told us it was next to impossible to find what we were looking for.We would have to foster first, then adopt. Keep in mind at that time we had a 6yr. old daughter. Looked into international adoption, couldn't afford it!! So we said forget it! Too much Red Tape for GOOD people looking to help a child out. So we just love and enjoy the one we have!! Until she watches 3rd strike!!

 

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My husband and I adopted in Stark County through Department of Human Services about 12 years ago. We brought my DD home from the hospital when she was 2 days old. We fostered for two years before we adopted her. She is now 14, soon to be 15. We had a very fast, easy adoption with her. It has been a wonderful experience. We have actually thought about doing it again, but my dd plays on a travel ball team. We thought it may be hard and not far to the little ones.

 

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cgs - biologicial dad lives only 45 minutes away, but hasn't bothered to visit them in well over 3 - 4 years. No phone calls, no letters, nothing. He has always been very uninvolved with them & I would guess he couldn't even pick them out of a crowd since he hasn't seen them in so long. He has fallen behind in support & is really feeling the financial pinch. They are both older now & have made it clear what they want & he agreed to it, so we are starting the process.

 

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Me and my wife did a foreign adoption and things went great for us. If you need any legal information on adoption my wife works for an attorney just pm me and I will give you my phone number.

 

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Warriors:

Sounds like smooth sailing. Best of luck to you and your daughters.

 

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warriors, sent you a pm

 

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Thanks niner! Right back at you!

 

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Statman... I like your comment about people getting all "saving the world" County services aren't looking to help white couples build families because they can't have children naturally. The stuff those places see, the midnight runs to homes to remove children from violent or dangerous situations, the pain they see in birth parents that want to do the right thing but are scared or don't know how, the trama on children that will leave them scarred for life... takes a precidence over helping people who want to save the world... Our case worker said, we want to find the right parents for the kids... not kids for parents. We adopted two sisters when they were 4 and 5.

it is amazing at how instantly you can love someone... to know that you would die for someone without thinking twice. it is overwhelming. You will always be dealing with separation and lost no matter how much you love them. They will do things that make you crazy and you will wonder where it comes from. and you love them... You will soon realize that your life begins when they came into it... and to them it is just the next place to sleep and the next place to eat. You will prove to them over and over that you are there forever before it really sets in. And then when they are 26 years old and call you in tears in the middle of the night and you talk for an hour and it ends with "I knew you would make me feel better - I love you dad" you know God had you in the right place at the right time.

I'd share all that we learned if you wanted to give me a call - or get a beer. and I'll show you pictures of my grand kids

 

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David,
It's hard sitting in those classes. One, because you know our situation and it was very atypical of what probably happens 90% of the time at foster care. Our issues were not the same as other people. I can relate to my softball bretheren because we have been to the same tourneys, the same one-hour warm-ups, the same drive out of town--in foster care and adoption, it's a world many people don't have (including me) have the stomach for.
Statwife and I would be in tears everyday if we let it get to us. Teaching in our area of town, we come across bluntly what I wouldn't dream of going through as a child. Here I am, getting after a kid about not getting his Friday Folder signed, I'm asking for a phone number, he ends up telling me mom is in jail. Talk about an eye opener. I guess this is one of the reasons I've been vocal as of late (and finally had to "shut it down"). Some people just dont get it.
And I guess this is why I get emotional over my own DD. Now she's a teenager. I didn't get the ballet classes or the walking hand in hand with daddy to the park, I didn't get to see her awaken in the morning wearing a pink dress and to climb in bed with wife and I. I feel cheated sometimes. Now she's getting older, she's independent, stubborn more than me, she meets friends everywhere and remembers their names (I can barely remember the names of parents on my team). I actually get jealous when she's not around, when I see other DD's and their dads relationships after games or anywhere in public. I know that i'm just being selfish as usual, and in the end, she's much better off with her--and I'm much better off with her in my life.

We officially told FCCS we wouldn't be taking any kids in the future. It's an easy decision, but it's also a complicated one. It's easy for people to throw in the towel. I dont have the personal strength (nor the unselfishness) to do it again.

I'd love to see the pictures someday. Count on it!
Ray

 

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Went thru it about 8 years ago all I can say is be yourself and I think it is great of you to do.I promis that you two will be closer than you will ever know

 

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After many setbacks, this process is almost complete. Our finally adoption hearing is April 20!

 

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that is wonderful -- glad everything worked out for you.