I have lots of thoughts on this subject. It's an extremely fine line, umpiring/coaching, making a point to an official/going overboard. I think the line is always moving depending on the intensity of the game. I was in the dugout a couple weekends ago for a HS "tournament" in Akron. Our pitcher was pounding the knees over the plate and I said "she is not moving her glove! She's not moving it at all" I said it loud enough for the umpire to hear but not to show him up. I honestly could have said I wasn't talking to him, but he walked over and told me "that's it" I got the message and that was it. I think while difficult, umpires sometimes have too good hearing. Maybe they get it every night and honestly are sick of it. Now as far as HS goes, I have not seen the Retirement crew yet this year, but we do have our share of "fresh" umpires that are not as sharp on some rules as they should be but for the most part, they really have not been bad. I had another umpire in Akron that thought everything was about coming to watch her umpire. She had to make a spectacle of every little thing. She threw a bat out of the game before it started for a dent ( I guarantee it was the slightest wave and would have passed any bat card) but this girls was not going to play so II wasn't going to make a big deal before the game started. I had a great plate ump in Ashland this past weekend. I didn't agree with all his calls but he was on top of everything, loud, decisive and consistent. I know it's tough and thankless, I just get the feeling like some of them know they are "the law" so they don't feel the need to work on their craft to get better.
BTW, this is not a "softball" problem....Bad (and good) officiating occurs in EVERY SPORT!!!!