Coach Approaching

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Was at the Elizabeth Spano tournament today when a parent approached the coach after a game dont know what she asked but his reply was quit blaming me you dont do a ******** thing to help her get better very load and this was in front of the team trying to enter the dugout and in front of the little girl who stood there in tears.Believe it was 10 or 12 u.Any thoughts?

 

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Re: Coach Approching

I always make it a strict rule. Never approach the coaching staff to talk about your DD regarding playing time or anything that may end in tempers flaring during tournaments. They can make an appointment to talk on the phone or in person on Monday. This way it gives them time to calm down and collect their thoughts. It also gives us time to retrieve stats and evaluations pertaining to their DD.

 

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We have a 24 hour rule to calm emotions down and give the parent a chance to prepare their thoughts on the best way to approach the coaches about a situation. During a tournament we would like them to wait till Monday too because playing could change the next day to even things out.

 

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I am guessing that daughter is no longer on the team.

 

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we had an instance like this this year they are no longer with us

 

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the coach still has to be tactful/professional and do this at the appropriate time as does the parent. As a coach he has to take a dive and then when it's one-on-one he can blast (I mean tactfully talk) as needed.

 

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The parent has no chance to win in that situation. Mostly, the coaches have agendas that have nothing to do with an individual player-- unless that player is the number 1 pitcher or the coach's daughter. Everybody else is an interchangeable part that can be replaced through a notice on OFC within a day. Some coaches will tell you that they're open to conversation concerning playing time and positions, but no matter what the APPARENT outcome of those conversations is, the result will almost always be negative, especially if the player does anything to prove the parent's opinion was wrong. The only good advice to a parent in that situation is:

1. Don't say anything.
2. Do whatever you can to help your daughter become the best player she can be.
3. Change teams at the end of the season (there are LOTS of teams).

 

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Re: Coach Approching

Was at the Elizabeth Spano tournament today when a parent approached the coach after a game dont know what she asked but his reply was quit blaming me you dont do a ******** thing to help her get better very load and this was in front of the team trying to enter the dugout and in front of the little girl who stood there in tears.Believe it was 10 or 12 u.Any thoughts?

My thoughts... The next time you decide to use inappropriate language on this site might be your last.

 

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Maybe I'm in the minority here, but why do parents do these sorts of things? If my daughter spent an entire year on the bench, I have to assume she's not getting it done and she and I need to work harder to get her on the field...

I've heard that there are a lot of politics and stuff of that nature that goes into travel ball...I won't actually know until I've witnessed it for myself...All I can tell you is that I won't be 'THAT' parent. My daughter and I will work our tails off to get her on the field...and if it doesn't happen, it won't be from a lack of effort on our part and we'll re-evaulate the situation the following year...

I've never understood it...yet I see it all the time. Had to deal with it in high school, too, with parents of players not getting the ball or playing time...it just disgusts me to no end. A coach's job is to put his best team on the field that give the team the best chance to win....that's it.

 

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Parents who don't watch practices cannot understand why their dd doesn't get enough playing time.

 

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My thoughts... The next time you decide to use inappropriate language on this site might be your last.

Dont mess with this guy he just may drop the hammer!

Now on the subject I know back in the days I used to have legendary beefs with coaches as well as my kid. Its going to happen, you just want to try and do it on the down low not publicly infront of everybody.

 

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I wish all parents thought like Honor&Glory...what a wonderful world that would be!!

 

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My thoughts... The next time you decide to use inappropriate language on this site might be your last.

 

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Im just glad all of my parents have held up their end of our deal. At the first of the year I asked them to not approach the coaches at practice or the tournaments. All my parents have to do is drop me a call. I will not discuss any of it on the phone but the coffee is on me and you can pick the place.

 

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STOP IT, you're making too much sense. I'm glad to see there are others out there who actually GET IT. Thank you for saying what needs to be said. IMO, if the coach is not looking out for the good of the TEAM first and foremost, then he may not be doing a very good service.

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but why do parents do these sorts of things? If my daughter spent an entire year on the bench, I have to assume she's not getting it done and she and I need to work harder to get her on the field...

I've heard that there are a lot of politics and stuff of that nature that goes into travel ball...I won't actually know until I've witnessed it for myself...All I can tell you is that I won't be 'THAT' parent. My daughter and I will work our tails off to get her on the field...and if it doesn't happen, it won't be from a lack of effort on our part and we'll re-evaulate the situation the following year...

I've never understood it...yet I see it all the time. Had to deal with it in high school, too, with parents of players not getting the ball or playing time...it just disgusts me to no end. A coach's job is to put his best team on the field that give the team the best chance to win....that's it.

 

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"A coach's job...is to put his best team on the field...and that's it."

I'll add something to that. A good coach will be a good teacher, too. It's really not enough to just put together a lineup. One of the biggest problems in kids' softball and baseball is a lack of teaching. There are simply too many players getting to the age of 16 and higher without learning the fundamentals. For a coach to say something like "You haven't done anything to help her get better," to a parent is a pretty good indicator that the coach isn't very good at what he's doing. Why isn't HE doing something to help her get better? Answer: He's probably not capable. I've been around a lot of "coaches" like that in my day. If that kid was good enough to make the team, then she's capable of getting better through proper instruction. That coach should be giving her some.

 

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Truth -- It is a two-way street. There are far more hours away from the team practices, and that's when the girls should be improving, whether its things the coach showed her, or via private coaches. The question for the parent, or player should be: Have I done enough to get better on my own? That's where improvement comes from.

 

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I also feel it is a two-way street. I believe that if they were good enough to make the team, then they are good enough to get some playing time, especially at a 10U level.

It the coaches responsibility to help develop a young player's basic fundamental skills BUT I feel it is up the parents to develop these skills even more. A parent cannot expect their DD to develop these skills on practices with the team alone.

 

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If your going to coach, you always need to have control of all situations and stay calm. When I haven't, it eats me up, when I have, I feel I've done all I can,...even when it's dealing with parents. Even if the parent is upset, the coach needs to stay in control.

After my daughter's 5th grade Summer season, she expressed an interest in getting better and wanting to always play. I told her quite frankly, "to get better faster, you have to practice when everybody else isn't". We did, she got better and better. She's never been the best player on any team she's been on, but she's been good enough to avoid the 8, 9, 10, 11 slots where judgements of ability are very close and cloudy. Coaches daughter, YES, hard work, YES !!! It makes a difference.

 

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Agree with all - only thing I would add is that it does not good to talk behind the coaches backs to all the other parents. There will always be disagreeemnts between the parents and coaches on playing time, batting order, positions etc.. In all the years I have coached, I honestly only tried to put the best 9 on the field and rotated the best I could to balance winning, playing time and development. Players start to figure this thing out themselves. You get very little complaints from players as they get older as they sort out in their own minds who is better where. The toughest question is if they have their heart set on playing a certain position, do you switch teams to have an opportunity to play that position if there is someone better on their current team playing there. The age old question of would you rather be the starting pitcher for a .500 team or play another position for a better team - tough call.