How far is too far?

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We've been invited to tryout with several teams. Being located in the middle of Highland County causes a travel dilemma from the get go. It is pretty much an hour to even the closest teams. Some are an hour and 45 minutes away. How difficult would it be for my daughter to actually feel like a part of the team? Curious about other people's perspective.?.

 

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Everyone's situation is different as you know. Driving distance/time is in the eye of the beholder. Living where you do you should understand the need to drive farther to get to many of the frills that others have in their back yard. I know of people in Colorado that drive 120 miles 1-way to practice twice a week. It's a way of life for them while others I've dealt with in the past from around here won't go 15 minutes from their house because it's too much. Simply plan your week and allow time for everything. Learn to eat right and get as much rest as you can when you have a chance. If you want it bad enough you'll make it work.

As far as your daughter is concerned, if you're doing this for the right reasons than your daughter will adapt and make new friends. Kids are flexible and learn to get along. It's a great life lesson not that much different than sending her to a summer camp for the first time. This is a wonderful time for you to bond with her as well. You'll have a lot of time to talk in the car!!!

 

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For the last 3 years we have driven an hour and 45 min to practice. IT will not matter if you drive ten minutes or 2 hours to practice if it is a whole new team it will take some time to get aquainted with a new team.

 

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Some are an hour and 45 minutes away. How difficult would it be for my daughter to actually feel like a part of the team? Curious about other people's perspective.?.

With a right girls..it's like a family reunion every weekend when they get together to play ball. Distance is an issue only if your daughter doesn't want it (doesn't effect her grades) or if you can't afford it.

 

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Yeah I agree with the others , my dd played two hours away for years . No regrets if playing with the right team

 

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1:45 is a long trip; that is 3 hours and 30 minutes of travel time per practice; (once a week or five times?). It has to be a great team with great coaches and great facilities to make that kind of commitment. This is absolutely insane for the younger ages but maybe justified if it is a gold team with national aspirations but not for a 12U that has other interests.

I did this trip with two daughters (six years apart) after they decided to focus on softball and leave the other sports they were toying with. They had grown out of the local softball options and had college plans in their future. I would not do this with a child, especially if she has other interests. My concern that she would grow to hate softball, the long drive and me. My daughters were older when we traveled, they did homework, drove some and we talked, I wouldn't trade it for an evening at home.

Please be careful about burnout. You will be driving 3 hours and 30 minutes for a 2 hour prctice. Make sure it is worth her while.

 

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There is no such thing as too far for the right team and the right situation.

 

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Last year we drove at least 3 hours at a time twice if not three times a week for practices and friendlies. It was okay but honestly rough as she was only 12u and I had two other girls to try to juggle schedules. The majority of the other girls were 10 minutes away from the fields. The other moms told me I was dedicated to my child but I think they really meant CRAZY...lol. But it was her first year and that is where she made the team. She did bond with the team but it took a while as the group was a bit of a clique. Thankfully she made several teams this year and was able to have a choice. Also I am thankful that she picked a closer team...only 25 minutes one way. I think if she was older it would have been easier but with two other girls it was tough to balance it all. I felt that the other two gave up too much. A lot of mommy guilt that's for sure. But everyone is different and just do what feels right for your family. GOOD LUCK

 

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A lot depends on the makeup of the team. If it is predominantly local players and they get together a lot during the week, it's going to be difficult. If the team consists of players from all over, it will be easier.

Our team has girls from various areas including 1 from Bakersfield (~150 miles away). The team doesn't get together during the week and the players are expected to work on their own.

 

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We have girls from all over.
1- 3 hours away
5- 1+ hour
2 - 45 minutes

The rest less than 15 minutes.

This team is pretty tight already and they are about there softball. So it just depends on the girls and the team.

Only 2 girls go to the same school. Everyone else goes to different schools.

 

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As stated above, it is never too far for the right fit. I think our shortest trip for practice may be an hour and 15 minutes, but, we practice once a week for 4 hours minimum. We have girls from all over ( as far South as Cincy, and as far North as Lake County), and try to meet in a central location once a month, while the other times practice is closer North or closer South and is pretty much optional. My DD loves it, and wouldn't give it up for anything. She now has sisters all over the state in her eyes.

 

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I think what is "too far" is a very individual/family decision based on what opportunities the player wants from team.

 

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"Too far" is a subjective term.

100 years ago, when I was coaching Rec ball, I had parents complain when a game was on a field five miles away...
(It's safe to assume those families never made the jump to travel ball!)

 

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As with anything it depends on your family. If you are fortunate to not have a lot else going and a day or two basically committed to this every week may not be a problem. Particularly if you find ways to make the most of it. If you are like many other families with somewhat of a busy schedule with work and other kids activities etc etc then it will get old fast. Our experience we had an hour each way to practice twice a week and as much as our daughter loved the team she didn't want to do it anymore. If you travel an hour to practice then you are talking 2 hours right away then actual practice time, plus the usual chit chat time. Also sometimes the team will go out to eat and of course your kid wants to go. It can really add up. Now imagine doing that as much as you practice. Another consideration is gas and mileage. If you get 30 MPG which is really good you are still talking more than 10 dollars per trip in gas. My advice is to just look at your situation, consider the ACTUAL time and expense per trip and then see how that will impact you. Sometimes you just got to do what you have to do though so good luck.

 

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We travelled increasing distances for my DD's team as a new manager stepped in and moved practices and scrimmages farther north. As we were the family who lived the farthest south, our travel time increased from 50 to 80 minutes to a practice. The team was 10u and DD was 8 at the time. Had the distance been over an hour to begin with, we probably would have passed and stuck closer to home. As it was we were all proud that she earned a spot with such a good organization and saw it as a great opportunity (though at 8, I'm not sure why we were ever so concerned about such opportunities!) In the end she was/we were burnt out - coach kept practicing 2 days a week even when tourneys were in full swing and DD & I spent way too much time in the car and she missed a lot of fun with her non-softball buddies from home. She has no interest in playing travel this year, and despite her skills we have decided not to push her. I would ask up front about practice schedules, scrimmages and tourneys to see what all is involved with the time commitment. - I wish you luck too!

 

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After all tryouts were finished I gave my daughter the option of what team she wanted to play for. I let her know it's her choice and we put together a list of pros and cons for each organization. We travel close to 2 1/2 hours one way once a week for an early Sunday morning 3 hour practice. For what her goals are, the travel is worth it and the team puts her in the right places to meet her needs. It does wear on you sometimes but you need to look at the big picture and see if it is worth it for your daughter and family.

 

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Thankful for all the comments. We travelled an hour or so one way all this year. Daughter decided to move in a different direction at the end of fall. A few teams that have contacted us would probably be great opportunities, but the distance factor could prove overwhelming. We have 3 daughters and I coach the youngest in Rec ball. We weren't overwhelmed this summer, but at times it was strained. I don't believe in missing events with the team, but I can't imagine being able to make everything when it's over an hour and a half one way with a full family schedule. Fortunately the oldest can drive now, but it is hard to give her free reign with that length of travel. We shall see how things shake out.

 

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It is tough as a parent to balance everything. Some people have jobs where they can't be as flexible, some have other children, some are financially strapped, some may be dealing with health issues, etc. While there is no doubt that often a lot be gained in terms or coaching, exposure, etc. by driving farther, there are trade-offs that a family has to deal with which no one else can really question or which a family should ever be made to feel guilty about. We all can only make the best of what we're faced with in life. It is however good to be educated as to at least what the alternatives are, and this Forum and many of the individuals on it is a good place to get a lot of that education.

 

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Over the years we have had players from 10U and up traveling more than one hour for practices.(Some 4 hours away)...

I think it is easier for the player 15U and above to play on teams 2 hours or more away from home.

Over the past four years we have had players that have had long travels stay overnight with other players for practice as well as tournaments where we could commute but they would need a hotel.

Currently; we have a lady from outside Toledo that has been a part of the team for the past 4 years. Now in college, the bond formed between players and parents is so strong all involved wanted to make sure we kept the team together for the next few years while the ladies finish college seven of the twelve 1.5 or more hours away.

From a coaches perspective... the players I have had with 2 to 4 hour commutes seemed to be more dedicated than those that had less of a commute by sacrificing more than the others for the team etc.
Not to say the hometown ladies were not dedicated but; more often than not these were the ones on time or late for practices where the ladies that traveled a few hours arrived 30 min or more early...

 

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I think you really need to do what's right for the entire family. Not just your softball players. I was driving all over the state last year with both my dd's playing travel. Both great experiences, great coaches and great teams. But I missed my spouse and I felt that my son really got stiffed in terms of attention. Being the youngest, he was used to tagging along to tourney's. But he decided this year that he wanted to play travel too. Realizing the stress all the travel was putting on my family as a whole, I had to bring my girls closer to home so (A) my son could start travel ball, and (B) to minimize the stress on all of us. My advice, think of everyone involved.