How to control "clicks", "groups", "bossy teammates"

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Hello,

Wanted to seek advice on controlling clicks, groups, bossy teammates, drama, etc with a 10U team.
I have seen to many times teams not "bond" due to only one or two players on the team. These "players" who start and continue with these actions think they are better then any one else, always try to take control, and become down right nasty.
I have also seen players lose the desire to play softball (quit for good) due to these issues, and some of these players were college material (14U, 16U, 18U) teams.

Any advice would be great.
I have started to use some tactics on my own, but wanted to see what else was out there.

Thanks

 

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If you truly want harmony you have to be willing to cut the players (parents) that cause problems and the players/parents need to know you mean business.

We have our Players, Coaches & Parents sign a code of conduct as soon as they accept a position on a team. Over the last 6 years we have let four players and one asst. coach go for violations. All these were let go by their head coach and not by the organization.

If it is this soon after tryouts and you are already seeing problems, or the potential for problems, I would get rid of the problem now while you can still replace them fairly easily. JMHO

 

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Hello,

Wanted to seek advice on controlling clicks, groups, bossy teammates, drama, etc with a 10U team.
I have seen to many times teams not "bond" due to only one or two players on the team. These "players" who start and continue with these actions think they are better then any one else, always try to take control, and become down right nasty.
I have also seen players lose the desire to play softball (quit for good) due to these issues, and some of these players were college material (14U, 16U, 18U) teams.

Any advice would be great.
I have started to use some tactics on my own, but wanted to see what else was out there.

Thanks

I have found a lot of insight into girls and why they act the way they act is based on many things especially the family environment and the people they hang out with.

I am reading the book bringing up Girls by Dr. James Dobson and can see what he describes in some of our students is based on the father and mothers relationships with each other. Divorced parents, single parents, age and puberty and especially peer pressure play a huge role in shaping their life and as coaches we need to at least be aware of it. The coaches yelling and screaming and the damage done afterwards can last a life time and affect girls for years to come in more ways than I have ever considered, in my opinion.

ISBN 978-1-4143-0127-3 (hc) Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

 

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I will grab that book and read it soon.

The question by cjusports is a tough one. I think we coaches can often do more damage than good by injecting ourselves into this stuff. There are times when I want certain players to be bossy, or at least intimidating. Our official fall practices end tomorrow and we can make nothing mandatory until January. But if some of our leaders want to make sure everyone is doing the lifting and getting in the work they need to get in individually, that's more than fine with me. The line between leadership and bossy can be a fine one and needs to be watched by coaches, but you can't have your team leaders terrified to confront a teammate who isn't working.

Cliques will happen, but some of it is natural, as we all have friends. An early season trip with girls not rooming with their better friends always helps. A team day at a park or wherever doing teamwork type stuff is also good. I have found that time takes care of most of it, and by early in the season our freshmen have friends throughout the team and everyone gets along very well.

 

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I think at 10u a vigilant coach should be able to control this. Insist that the same kids aren't always pairing up for warm-ups etc. We have parent / player agreements that address this type of thing. On one occasion last year I had to sit the kids down and remind them that they are all sisters and we as coaches won't tolerate anything less than full support of their teammates on or off the field. If talking doesn't work we can always run or do push-ups. After that we never had a problem.

 

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I've coached the younger levels for a few years now, and I am always worried about clicks. This has worked really good for me especially with my rec ball teams where I might have kids from 4 or 5 different grade schools in our district, travel ball I do the same but the clicks arent nearly as bad.

I partner kids up for throwing drills, it started because I wanted the kids with the cannons to be able to throw the ball hard, and I wanted the kids who are younger and have problems with the strong armed kids to be able to catch the ball and not get hurt. It was to help both out, I found after doing this, kids got to know each other through the chit chat that girls love to do while throwing. Once the kids start getting closer in ability I start mixing them up.

We do a lot of competition games, where we split the team in 2 or 3. I try to really mix the teams up. Kids love competing and winning.

I always point out every single time when a girl is being a good teammate to the whole team. The little ones, love an atta girl.

If a kid asks to go first for a drill, they dont get to go first. (this drove me nuts when I first got into coaching the younger kids, everytime you go to explain a drill or tell them what your going to do, the I'm first, can I go first starts)

I also take them out for ice cream weekly, depending on their hustle and attitude lol.

This has worked for me very well, little kids IMO are much easier to train to be good teammates then the 14-18U's, and by the time Joe A gets a kid if they arent a good teammate, I think you would need a degree is physcology to straighten that out, but thats why he gets paid the big bucks lol.

 

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If you truly want harmony you have to be willing to cut the players (parents) that cause problems and the players/parents need to know you mean business.

We have our Players, Coaches & Parents sign a code of conduct as soon as they accept a position on a team. Over the last 6 years we have let four players and one asst. coach go for violations. All these were let go by their head coach and not by the organization.

If it is this soon after tryouts and you are already seeing problems, or the potential for problems, I would get rid of the problem now while you can still replace them fairly easily. JMHO

I agree lop off a head ......... any disharmony to the team will multiply in spades, the surest way to cure a cancer is to remove it........

A click is a cancer and can do nothing but hurt a good team.

 

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Hitter, that's a great book! I find it amazing the damage a coach can do to an athlete! Coaches have a great responsibility to these young ladies. At 10u, i say talk to the girls and try to get them to learn about their teammates so they can respect their teammates.

 

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From Wikipedia:
A clique (pronounced /ˈkliːk/, also United States English pronunciation: /ˈklɪk/) is an inclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity.[1] A clique as a reference group can be either normative or comparative. Membership in a clique is typically exclusive, and qualifications for membership may be social or essential to the nature of the clique. The term 'clique' may be used pejoratively.

First, all cliques are not necessarily a bad thing, but the type referred to in this thread is not a desirable trait - at least not in my book.

We all know adults who are just as guilty of this; I work with some who think they're still in high school! Children who lack reinforcement from their parents to "be their own person" starting at a young age are destined to be just like their parents. I could write a book about my kid's high school - some of those moms are perfect "clique" role models.

For one thing, for kids it's "easy" to just hang with birds of a feather. For a coach to try to change a pattern that should have been addressed by their parents is like... trying to potty train half your 14u team! Good luck with that... Why is it that I keep coming back to the same theme of parental responsibilities with all my posts?? ;&

 

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Hitter, that's a great book! I find it amazing the damage a coach can do to an athlete! Coaches have a great responsibility to these young ladies. At 10u, i say talk to the girls and try to get them to learn about their teammates so they can respect their teammates.

Even after 38 years of marriage to the same woman, I learned some things I can improve on and make it better from reading the book. It has helped me also working with our kids that have mother and father issues also.

I love when someone comes up and introduces their wife to me as this is my second wife Karen.

I may start introducing my wife as this is my first wife.....:lmao:

 

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Even after 38 years of marriage to the same woman, I learned some things I can improve on and make it better from reading the book. It has helped me also working with our kids that have mother and father issues also.

I love when someone comes up and introduces their wife to me as this is my second wife Karen.

I may start introducing my wife as this is my first wife.....:lmao:

Howard, That poor woman deserves a trophy for putting up with you for that long :lmao::lmao:

 

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Howard, That poor woman deserves a trophy for putting up with you for that long :lmao::lmao:

I was thinking more along the lines of being nominated as a Saint :lmao:

 

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The best way to deal with these problems is not to let them get started; easier said than done. However, planning your practices and not letting the kids stand around is vital. If they give you 2 hours have them work hard for those 2 hours. They will be so focused on the game/skill or coach that these troubles don't have time to grow and fester.

Don't ignore the little things. Address any troubles but quickly move on. These are good kids at heart, sometimes they have to be nudged back between the lines.

 

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I love when someone comes up and introduces their wife to me as this is my second wife Karen.

I LOVE IT!!!! :lmao::lmao::lmao: I never thought of saying that, I will incorporate IMMEDIATELY...:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

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I'm going to start introducing my husband as my first husband too.