Mother upset over Boyfriends attending practices, games.

[softballx10]

I'm a mother who daughter is 11 and play on a 12 under team, Coaches says I'm overreacting about my concerns over boyfriends attending team function.

Every practice and every game at least 3 or 4 of the player's boyfriends show up. I wouldn't be so concerned if the girls were over 16 years of age but we're talking about a 12 under team with mostly 11 year old girls.

It's becoming a big distraction during the games and practice. Not only because the boyfriends are presence, but from the conversations the girls have about their boyfriends and their activities off the diamond. My husband and I have even discussed leaving this program, the only reason we haven't left yet, all fees have been paid for 2017, if we leave we will forfeit $1200 in team fees and it a top level program.

My husband and my concerns are more about some of the conversations that we believe are inappropriate for young girls.

Has anyone else ever had this problem? How did you handle your discussion with the Coaching staff? My husband says if changes don't happen we need to start looking for a new team and I agree.

 

[Louuuuu]

Well, for one, the "conversations" are going to happen regardless...

As for "boyfriends" being around at team functions. No. This is softball bonding time.

Is it safe to assume that the coaches kid is one of those who brings her boyfriend?

Get out. Nothing is going to change.

 

[snoman76]

You really can't control who shows up at the games but you can certainly control who shows up at practice. As Lou said, the coaches kid is probably one of the guilty ones so I'm not sure things will change. I would talk to the coach anyway and see where that goes. If nothing changes then maybe consider a change. $1200 is a lot of money to throw away but if you can afford to make a change then you probably should.

 

[Fairman]

For 1,200 bucks the practices should be intense and the girls focused and that the last thing they want to see is a 'boyfriend' lurking around. If there is a lot of standing around with a lot of non-softball conversation during practice then you are definitely in the wrong program. The coach could stop this at any age, but at 11/12 it's pretty easy to intimidate the boyfriends and make the girls realize that there is a 'no distraction rule' enforced during practices and games. The girls will fix this problem quickly when the coach holds them responsible and running and embarrassment are both a possibility.

If the coach allows boyfriends then parents can't be far behind: then you are not only wasting your money but a whole year. It's time to look around and find a more serious team or resign yourself to having an expensive rec-ball experience with a big helping of mean girls coming right up.

 

[allcorners]

Nothing is going to change.......switch teams. A lot of quality programs are looking for quality players right now. I 'm sure they would work with you on the money.

 

[mike_dyer]

There are pages full of teams that need players. One of them is bound to work out better for you.

 

[okiedad1961]

3-4 boyfriends for one 11 year old ,where's my stick,something ain't right lol

 

[Run26]

good grief - who allows their 11 yr old to have a boyfriend? Am I alone on this one?

There are several puzzling things going on with this situation.

1. Why is a coach allowing open attendance when it comes to practice? This should be focused on teaching, learning and getting better. I'd set some rules immediately.
2. $1,200 for a 12U team? For that much you better be on a elite team but I doubt you are based on the open attendance.
3. Why don't you voice your concerns with the coach? He may be afraid to say anything due to not knowing how the parents may react. If he knows there are concerns from your side then he should enforce a rule.
4. again, who allow their 11 year old to have a boyfriend? A boyfriend so serious that they feel the need to come to a 12U softball practice?

Insane.

 

[mike_dyer]

It's a funny thing to read threads like this.

It's funny because people act like I have 3 heads when I tell them I typically don't allow my kid to run around with kids who she plays ball with.

Most of you aren't our kind, and I'm alright with that.

Why aren't you??

 

[coachjwb]

With very rare exception, there is no reason for boyfriends to ever be at a practice ... and that goes for any age, let alone 12U's!

 

[mike_dyer]

The OP says "3 or 4" of the kids are doing this. That's 1/3 of the roster.

1 in 3.

Not really all that rare, maing...

 

[bleacherbum]

Won't be long until the other half have their girlfriends there.
Coach needs to set guidelines soon.

 

[okiedad1961]

It's a funny thing to read threads like this.

It's funny because people act like I have 3 heads when I tell them I typically don't allow my kid to run around with kids who she plays ball with.

Most of you aren't our kind, and I'm alright with that.

Why aren't you??

Mike I'm still trying to figure out which one your using lol

 

[Stedman00]

OK, I'll ask the obvious question, how are these little 'boyfriends' getting to these practices? If the parents are bringing them, they need help.

 

[softballx10]

OK, I'll ask the obvious question, how are these little 'boyfriends' getting to these practices? If the parents are bringing them, they need help.

Boyfriends are the brothers of 4 of the players on the team. The Head Coach daughter doesn't have a boyfriend that I'm aware of. Again I'm not concern with them showing up, not even sure if that can be stopped. My main concern is the locker room talk, not really sure my daughter is ready for these type of conversation.

 

[HITTER23]

Boyfriends are the brothers of 4 of the players on the team. The Head Coach daughter doesn't have a boyfriend that I'm aware of. Again I'm not concern with them showing up, not even sure if that can be stopped. My main concern is the locker room talk, not really sure my daughter is ready for these type of conversation.

At 11 years old ????

 

[coachjwb]

That's a dilemma if the "boyfriends" of the players are fellow players' brothers who are presumably too young to stay home alone. But wait ... let me understand ... so these 11 year old girls are talking about the boys to their teammates, and the boys are their teammates' brothers?? How old are they ... 12-13?? Why is this story making me think of Dance Moms? I think I have to vote on finding another team!

 

[Fairman]

Rule number one: A player cannot date the brother of another player.

It will just end badly. Everyone will suffer.
The coach had better develop a spine.

I am really recommending that your dd finds another team.
Look for a team of orphans! No parents and no brothers!

 

[yossarian]

That many girls with BFs on one team at 11? I agree it's weird and it would cause red flags for me too.

 

[mike_dyer]

Why is this story making me think of Dance Moms?

Summer ball = dance moms on dirt.

It's not just in the summer when they are 10 - 14. It's an all year 'round traveling freak show.

I can't pound words into sentences that can accurately describe how happy I am that this **** is almost over.