Mother upset over Boyfriends attending practices, games.

[lewam3]

Well...
Sometimes a good defense is a good offense.
Find solidarity with one, two, three or four other moms who find this a problem and just go over and start talking to the boys, asking them nosy questions, ask them where their parents are, ask them to go play with other boys. but go one one one or four on one, or four on four, whatever. The attention they get from the moms will scare the bejeezus out of them and they will NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Irish196]

Boyfriends are the brothers of 4 of the players on the team. The Head Coach daughter doesn't have a boyfriend that I'm aware of. Again I'm not concern with them showing up, not even sure if that can be stopped. My main concern is the locker room talk, not really sure my daughter is ready for these type of conversation.

If your real concern is the "locker room talk" and not the boys at the practice then I don't think that is going to change if the boys are gone. That is a problem with the girls and it isn't something you are going to change. If you haven't already, I'd suggest you just talk to your daughter about what you feel is appropriate and inappropriate with regard to dating, relationships with boys, "locker room talk", etc. Our daughter is only 15 but I can tell you it gets worse fast (as far as how quickly some girls are "growing up" and how their parents allow it). Better she know what you feel is appropriate and inappropriate now. Also, if you can find some other families that feel the same way, make sure she spends some quality time with them. Good luck. Girls aren't easy and they are bombarded with inappropriate things constantly. The more you offset it by telling her what you expect (and why) the better.

 

[wow]

At best the boys are a distraction. How are you getting work done with that nonsense in the background. Sounds like different expectations then normal travel. At 12U boys should not be in the picture, let alone a practice. That will happen soon enough. The fact they are being brought to practice by other parents on the teams reeks of social hour not softball practice.

 

[daboss]

It's been touched on by numerous people and all I can do is rephrase things with my take on the matter. If the boys are brothers of players there is the possiblity they are in situations where they can't be left at home. Not much anyone can do about that. So assuming they need to come with the families the real problem appears to be the actions and conversation of the team players that is upsetting things. I agree this probably won't change. It might subside some if the boys were gone but if the personalities of the girls are not to your liking and they talk inappropriately on subject matter that concerns you now, time will probably make it worse.

I have to agree the best thing to do is make a change of scenery or risk your daughter being alienated by her teammates. She won't be happy. One thing you can try is teach her what they are doing is trashy and wrong and she'll need to know if you stay the family in general won't be hanging out with any of them away from the ball fields. Make this a teaching moment. Point out how their actions make other feel uncomfortable and she needs to be aware of how her own actions can be judged, putting them in dim light. Nothing wrong in developing people skills to tolerate the shortcomings of others while humbling your own feelings to get along for the good of the team. I think saying something to the head coach would be appropriate. That way he'll know why your family may choose to travel alone and possibly not stay with the team on weekends. I wouldn't see this as any different as say a family with religious practices that wouldn't allow certain things to interrupt their beliefs. Sad but a fact of life that we cannot control the actions of others yet need to cope with them in order to exist.

 

[wow]

And since when did softball practices become babysitting services for other family's kids? This sounds like a rec program not a travel one. Talk to the coach if he can not conduct the practice free of distractions, thank him for his time and move along.

As far as the way the kids act, its something the coach must address.

Just cant imagine much softball is being conducted with all these distractions.

 

[FastBat]

I have a 12 year old, this actually seems somewhat normal, I can't believe I'm saying that.

You can't parent all the kids on the team or control what they do. I would just try to ignore it. Be sure to keep telling your dd to make good choices and use positive reinforcement with that. Also, don't forget to tell her that boys are dumb and they will ruin her life. Doing that could buy you a few years, but she will probably follow down the same path before long. Good luck!

 

[Pacerdad57]

i have to go along with Fastbat, I've been telling her for years that boys are nothing but trouble, sadly her mother agrees.........it's a lose/lose for me.......