Been there with both of my DD's. Oldest one had a coach that replaced her, after fees were paid, of course with someone he thought was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Watched as this girl pouted on the field, cried on the field and showed other unbelievably poor sportsmanship while this coach cheered her on and DD sat. DD never once complained - as her dad & I would never allow that. Younger DD experienced a manager change and was pushed aside as his community rec players were given playing time ahead of her and another girl. She was utterly shocked when he sat her over a "sub" but still played her best when in and contributed to the team. Like you, PacerDad, it may have been more understandable if they were winning with these other girls, but they only got past the first game on Sunday once.
The good news is that we are older and wiser now and our kids have had to work that much harder and are, we believe, better off for having to do that. Both are quite happy where they are and accept coaching decisions that are based on performance and what is truly best for the team. As hard as it has been to watch as a parent, it has been a real joy as they have grown and learned more about the players/teammates they want to be. You will find the right fit for your daughter and family, it just takes patience, a bit of faith, and some research. I can tell you though, that there is quite a difference being home by 11:00am on Sunday and having to call a neighbor to let dogs out again because it doesn't look like you'll be getting home before dark. Best of luck!!