default
Member
Take a look at catcher895 first reply and then go with what Luvthegame said. Good advice. 
default
Member
This sounds like a Salem witch hunt. Call the authorities and let them handle it. Better to be safe than sorry later. Why do you need others opinions to make a wise decision!
default
Member
Be careful, good lives get ruined quickly when you jump in with both feet. GET THE FACTS!!
default
Member
Registered sex offender is not synonomus with pedaphile .....I guess I would want to know the whole story before ruining someones life......But , you are right your child's safety must come first......
default
Member
These are just my opinions, but to some of you that have posted, I get the feeling that because the offender is a woman, you look at the situation differently. If the poster had stated that the (male) coach was a registered offender your opinions would be different.
Either way the bottom line is, no matter what her age, or specifics of the case, she broke a law that requires her to be labeled a sexual predator. She used bad judgement, and put herself in a situation that caused this to happen to her. My best judgement would lead me to believe, that this person has issues, and would not trust her to make good decisions when it came to my daughter.
This is a no brainer, anyone that is involved with this team should be contacted. Sorry, but when it comes to something of this nature, creating hard feelings should not even be a consideration.
Either way the bottom line is, no matter what her age, or specifics of the case, she broke a law that requires her to be labeled a sexual predator. She used bad judgement, and put herself in a situation that caused this to happen to her. My best judgement would lead me to believe, that this person has issues, and would not trust her to make good decisions when it came to my daughter.
This is a no brainer, anyone that is involved with this team should be contacted. Sorry, but when it comes to something of this nature, creating hard feelings should not even be a consideration.
default
Member
LADY_KNIGHTS
You are right. Male or Female it is all the same crime and same treatment.
You are right. Male or Female it is all the same crime and same treatment.
default
Member
So what were saying here is that if I as a father wanted to coach my daughter and my wife has this "Label" that she cant come see my daughter play ball? I cant coach my own daughter because of my wife's past record?
Or that if we came together to watch our daugther play ball for someone else and because you know she has this record she cant come to a game? Because kids are there? With a boat load of witnesses?
This is a serious issue but these kinds of things need to be addressed in private. It doesnt have to be a public spectical. The situation does need to be addressed but in a VERY discrete manner.
You think this lady doesnt know she has made a huge mistake in her life? What about the feelings of her daughter when dad has to quit because of moms mistake? How do you explain that to the DD? If she doesnt know?
Would you want your child to find this out from another player or another source other than you if it came to light? I know what I would feel if it was my daugther would hear this from someone else about her moms past.
Its not the adults who would feel the pain. Even if you feel its justified. Its the daugther who would be humiliated.
Think about it. Do you really want to do that to a kid?
Elliott.
Or that if we came together to watch our daugther play ball for someone else and because you know she has this record she cant come to a game? Because kids are there? With a boat load of witnesses?
This is a serious issue but these kinds of things need to be addressed in private. It doesnt have to be a public spectical. The situation does need to be addressed but in a VERY discrete manner.
You think this lady doesnt know she has made a huge mistake in her life? What about the feelings of her daughter when dad has to quit because of moms mistake? How do you explain that to the DD? If she doesnt know?
Would you want your child to find this out from another player or another source other than you if it came to light? I know what I would feel if it was my daugther would hear this from someone else about her moms past.
Its not the adults who would feel the pain. Even if you feel its justified. Its the daugther who would be humiliated.
Think about it. Do you really want to do that to a kid?
Elliott.
default
Member
AS always Elliot you hit the nail on the head! the kid would the one hurt the most.....and what every you decide to do, you need to be prepare to deal with the fall out....I like that word discrete......my guess is the coach and his wife know what a mess she has made and are hoping that their DD can be spared, would be interested to know if possible the team doesn't already know and have dealt with it "in House"......
default
Member
WOW! What a tough position to be in. I really think that there have been some great suggestions. I agree the team needs to be informed, but who does the informing? How do you do it with enough "TACT" that it doesn't destroy more lives than necessary? Depending on the actual charges - the daughter may not even be aware of it - should the coach have a heads up before the entire team is told? So many questions.
As a parent of multiple DD's and a future Baseball Player I personally would want to know as soon as possible. But to be truthfully honest I'm not sure how I would react? There are simply to many unanswered variables. I wish you good luck in your final decision because I fear it will not be an easy one (regardless of what you decide.)
This forum has come incredible posters with knowledge that would assess into several centuries if we added it together. Hopefully something that one or more has said or will say will help you make an educated decision.
As a parent of multiple DD's and a future Baseball Player I personally would want to know as soon as possible. But to be truthfully honest I'm not sure how I would react? There are simply to many unanswered variables. I wish you good luck in your final decision because I fear it will not be an easy one (regardless of what you decide.)
This forum has come incredible posters with knowledge that would assess into several centuries if we added it together. Hopefully something that one or more has said or will say will help you make an educated decision.
default
Member
The fact of the matter is, male or female their actions put them in the situation. The bottom line is a lable of a sex offender is very public as are any criminal or civil dealings. I agree some further information would be helpful, but this person has already been judged by a court of law. Sorry if that makes the person's life more difficult and their actions effect the rest of the family, but we are all responsible for our actions and must live with the consequences. Generally if a sex offender is on probation/parole there are rules to be followed such as not being permitted around children. This is not always the case though so again more information is important. Regardless, if there are no such restrictions the parents on that team have a right to know their coaches history. Each and every one of us has the ability to do our own research on all the adults in our children's lives and I for one do my homework when it comes to entrusting my children into the care of others.
Just food for thought
Just food for thought
default
Member
[highlight]Regardless, if there are no such restrictions the parents on that team have a right to know their coaches history. [/highlight]
Its not the coaches history that is in question here.
Its his wifes. I seriously doubt that this man considered this would be an issue in his familys life as it relates to his activites with youth sports and his daughter.
You choose to label this person a sexual offender but based on the circumstances around this situation you punish everyone in the family? Plus destroy the dreams of a perfectly innocent child.
Sounds fair to me. :-/
Its not the coaches history that is in question here.
Its his wifes. I seriously doubt that this man considered this would be an issue in his familys life as it relates to his activites with youth sports and his daughter.
You choose to label this person a sexual offender but based on the circumstances around this situation you punish everyone in the family? Plus destroy the dreams of a perfectly innocent child.
Sounds fair to me. :-/
default
Member
Absolutely, positively. It's not up to anyone to judge whether it was fair or under what circumstances. There was a conviction and as such, the party was found guilty.
You have to wonder how many teams get background checks on their coaches? Ours do.
You have to wonder how many teams get background checks on their coaches? Ours do.
default
Member
I always did to. But not thier wifes. I would doubt your organization does that either.
That is THE point here folks. If this was the coach I would be saying get him out right now. But its not. Plus it has circumstances that have bigger impacts than just to the wife of the coach.
Elliott.
That is THE point here folks. If this was the coach I would be saying get him out right now. But its not. Plus it has circumstances that have bigger impacts than just to the wife of the coach.
Elliott.
default
Member
Man or woman.. .LIVES (not just one life) can be destroyed if you run around shouting this from the rooftops before you get all the facts. Believe me there are a lot of things I've done that I'm not proud of and I'm sure you all have at one time or another. That does not excuse the offense, but discretion should be used in finding and exposing the facts.
default
Member
O.K ?Maybe it is just me but..... ?Lets just say....... ?I coach a fastpitch team, how bout the ever so popular 14u. ?I am a great coach and my daughter is on the team but does not pitch. ?Keeps getting better, right? ?But every so often my husband comes out to help when I am short handed on coaches and sometimes he just watches from the back stop. ?Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you he is a registered sex offender. ?Now, show me what parent does not have a problem with this? ?Go ahead, lets see a show of hands. ?Does any parent out there mind that a sex offender or predator is watching your teenage daughter. ?I for one sure do. ?Male, female? ?This shouldn't matter. ?We are here as parents to protect for as long as we can. ?This should not even be a topic. ?We should all know the answer to this one. ?SEXUAL OFFENDER + CHILDREN = NO WAY ?
default
Member
Without all of the facts, be careful not to jump to conclusions. We don't even know the extent that the wife is involved with the team or if there is a daughter involved. Maybe the organization already knows and has agreed to the situation only under certain circumstances and is monitoring closely.
I can tell you that I am the wife of a coach. I am extremely involved with the team, and I attend as many practices as possible--talking and planning with the parents. If my husband needs help at a practice, there are plenty of dads he can ask to help. My job is logistical--finding hotels, helping with the college recruiting process, fundraising, etc. So if I was the registered sex offender in this role, would there be a problem? I am never alone with the girls--and neither is my husband, but I mostly act as an active parent looking out for the well being of my child and the team.
I can tell you that I am the wife of a coach. I am extremely involved with the team, and I attend as many practices as possible--talking and planning with the parents. If my husband needs help at a practice, there are plenty of dads he can ask to help. My job is logistical--finding hotels, helping with the college recruiting process, fundraising, etc. So if I was the registered sex offender in this role, would there be a problem? I am never alone with the girls--and neither is my husband, but I mostly act as an active parent looking out for the well being of my child and the team.
default
Member
Was it stated that the couple had a dd?
default
Member
Whitehall; I do not believe it was.
default
Member
A. It is a VERY unfortunate matter.
B. Those labels are assigned by lawmakers for a reason.
C. If very well may have been a "misunderstanding" 30 years ago.
If it were a husband versus a wife, would you feel differently? Why does it seem more likely to be ok or a misunderstanding if it's a woman versus a man? We aren't talking about a rumor or innuendo. We are talking about a conviction in a court of law.
This should be discussed with the coach and allow HIM to tell the team. Perhaps there is an explanation acceptable to the parents but it's up to them to decide. What if you didn't say anything and something happened in the future?
How would you feel then?
It is not your fault you have the information. But it could be if you ignore it.
B. Those labels are assigned by lawmakers for a reason.
C. If very well may have been a "misunderstanding" 30 years ago.
If it were a husband versus a wife, would you feel differently? Why does it seem more likely to be ok or a misunderstanding if it's a woman versus a man? We aren't talking about a rumor or innuendo. We are talking about a conviction in a court of law.
This should be discussed with the coach and allow HIM to tell the team. Perhaps there is an explanation acceptable to the parents but it's up to them to decide. What if you didn't say anything and something happened in the future?
How would you feel then?
It is not your fault you have the information. But it could be if you ignore it.
default
Member
Everyone does realize that none of us know that facts right? You does realize that it is stated that she is a sexually oriented offender, right? There is a difference between a sexual predator and a sexually oriented offender. Nothing was mentioned about a child being involved. Maybe this wife never even comes around-so you make a big deal about this for what-nothing. Like I have said before find out DETAILS before you make another move. Yes I understand that she was convicted by a court of law but does that mean that her husband should suffer? How would any of you feel if you were fired or lost your team because someone jumped the gun and made a huge issue out of something that your brother, sister, husband, wife, cousin, etc. did only to find out that it really wasn't as bad as it sounds. You realize there are so many circumstances that could change your reaction. But once you have opened that can of worms there is no turning back. Be careful in how you approach this. Obviously it is known about this charge since LAKECOUNTYCOACH heard it then confirmed it. Find a discreet reliable source before you say things that you can't take back or change the outcome of! :-X
