Should dad talk or let dd ask?

[default]

At 12U approach the coach. Find out his reasoning first hand with dd beside you. If you are at all (or most) of the practices, you'll have an idea of what type of bat the coach is replacing her with. If there is a stronger bat but defense is not the greatest, I can see the reasoning; but if not, go with what wv suggests. To me the key is if you are at the practices. That way you know if this is a sugar coat or not.

 

[default]

You can discuss it with the coach alone and respectively. If you do not get a satisfactory answer, I would not tell the coach she will be looking for a new team next year. That is too confrontational. Play out the year and get her some good hitting lessons so she is prepared next season. And by all means, keep your plans to yourself. There are people that will go running to the coach and tell them everything you said about the situation.

 

[default]

How many kids are on the team? She cannot possibly be the only one that is in every play? What about the catcher? How about the girls that are always on the field they could be in any play at any time? Definately not fair. I would do as was suggested.

Tell the coach that you understand DH'ing on occasion, probably all the players should see some of that. But to NEVER be able to bat. You will be looking elsewhere for a team where she can do both!!!

 

[default]

How quick this gets put on the coach, and then we're all going to rush to do something about it. First off, he's made a decision based on what he has seen so far of her ability and has determined that she, at this point, is most valuable as a pitcher and not a hitter. Secondly, he sees an opportunity to bat someone else that may have similar batting skills, and yes, maybe even be better able to help the team. As a PARENT, raising a child, you explain this to her and get your butt out and work with her to MAKE HER BETTER. Then when she gets the opportunity, she may shine and get more opportunities. You are absolutely failing your daughter by trying to find her a team where she's allowed to play at whatever her level is , and not be expected to improve. AND BY THE WAY, every good team, even ELITE TEAM for the snobs, is ever changing and girls move up and down in the line-up based on their ability to excel and grow as players. PERIOD !!!

 

[default]

Agree 12 U dad talk to coach. Coach is only doing it to make others "think" he is doing out of fairness....If I was a betting man without knowing all the facts.

 

[default]

I'll take a stab at this from my POV as a head coach.

I know a lot have posted about the Dad should go talk to the coach if they have a problem regarding playing time. Though 12, I still want the player to come to me & initiate the talk with the parent there. This gives them training for future situations so that they can eventually handle it on their own. I believe a 12U who has gone through this scenario would be more equiped to deal w/ this situation than a 14U whose parent has always dealt w/ it w/out her present.

Then you get into development vs winning situation even at 12U. I am fully onboard w/ development (this is why I coach) but the double edge sword becomes when you have a high level competitive team at an age group where people expect to win & play your best 9. This is a fine line. Given my current team situation, we are decent at 12U, so it is a constant battle. However I try my best to select girls at tryouts where they average out to be pretty comparable in general, i.e. no speedy player who can't hit or field thus runner only situation. Most of the time this year I have batted all 11 (38 out of 41 games) & took some critism but also took critism when I only batted 9.

I do not agree w/ the coaches comment about "since she is in every play" - I am not sure how that can be a legit answer.

 

[default]

I'll take a stab at this from my POV as a head coach.

I know a lot have posted about the Dad should go talk to the coach if they have a problem regarding playing time. Though 12, I still want the player to come to me & initiate the talk with the parent there. This gives them training for future situations so that they can eventually handle it on their own. I believe a 12U who has gone through this scenario would be more equiped to deal w/ this situation than a 14U whose parent has always dealt w/ it w/out her present.

Then you get into development vs winning situation even at 12U. I am fully onboard w/ development (this is why I coach) but the double edge sword becomes when you have a high level competitive team at an age group where people expect to win & play your best 9. This is a fine line. Given my current team situation, we are decent at 12U, so it is a constant battle. However I try my best to select girls at tryouts where they average out to be pretty comparable in general, i.e. no speedy player who can't hit or field thus runner only situation. Most of the time this year I have batted all 11 (38 out of 41 games) & took some critism but also took critism when I only batted 9.

I do not agree w/ the coaches comment about "since she is in every play" - I am not sure how that can be a legit answer.

Do agree with this situation as well. To me depends on rec or travel ball. Travel play best 9 the whole time if game is competitve, if rec all should play and learn the game. You can never make everyone happy 100% of the time, people are too different thats why it is our job as coaches to make certain decisions. If we were all the same the world would be boring anyway..... I coach as well and those are my thoughts.

 

[default]

I agree however, what has she failed, this post stated that she wasn't the weakest hitter nor the best. Unless she is the bottom of the list, she should bat period....

Parent Goggles are thick...

Of course she is not on the bottom, I know on our teams #9 is almost as fast as #1 and #2 but the OBP is not there to be the #1 hitter.. On alot of teams some of the weaker hitters are listed in the #6, #7 or maybe #8 in the lineup, but mostly #6 or #7

 

[default]

Playing time is not fair at the travel level, and never will be. If you make it fair the great players will leave.

Parents and players need to know their rolls on the team and embrace them, perfect them, and be the best at them, and if you want more then work your butt off to be better in your weaker areas...

 

[default]

Playing time is not fair at the travel level, and never will be. If you make it fair the great players will leave.

Parents and players need to know their rolls on the team and embrace them, perfect them, and be the best at them, and if you want more then work your butt off to be better in your weaker areas...

Couldnt have said it better myself.

 

[default]

How many of you went to your DD's teachers and said:

You know she works really hard every day, does not miss any days of school, tries her hardest on tests, and we paid the same fee as everyone else did to be here and she deserves an A just like Suzie.....

Sports are no different then School work and you get what you truely deserve, and not what you think you deserve..

 

[default]

From day one, we always REQUIRED our DD to approach the coach - ON HER OWN. Unless there is something "non-softball related" going on (you know what I mean), why shouldn't she? She's the one getting shorted playing time, missing batting, etc. - NOT mom or dad!

At 12u, if properly coached, your DD should be able to talk openly with her coach about team issues that affect her. Sounds silly, but practice with some role playing sometime. Have her do a "walk through" just like she's working on a school project. It takes practice, and it's a valuable skill she'll need later in life - ESPECIALLY if she ever wants to play in college.

Compare the two scenarios: Dad and DD approaching coach, or DD all by herself. By my standards, any 12u kid who feels comfortable discussing such things with her coach one-on-one has a HUGE head start on her peers. The sooner she learns to fight her own battles, the better off she will be. We lived by that rule, and it worked just fine.

 

[default]

From day one, we always REQUIRED our DD to approach the coach - ON HER OWN. Unless there is something "non-softball related" going on (you know what I mean), why shouldn't she? She's the one getting shorted playing time, missing batting, etc. - NOT mom or dad!

At 12u, if properly coached, your DD should be able to talk openly with her coach about team issues that affect her. Sounds silly, but practice with some role playing sometime. Have her do a "walk through" just like she's working on a school project. It takes practice, and it's a valuable skill she'll need later in life - ESPECIALLY if she ever wants to play in college.

Compare the two scenarios: Dad and DD approaching coach, or DD all by herself. By my standards, any 12u kid who feels comfortable discussing such things with her coach one-on-one has a HUGE head start on her peers. The sooner she learns to fight her own battles, the better off she will be. We lived by that rule, and it worked just fine.

Spot on sammy. I agree 100% teach them to stand on their own feet.