The grass is always greener...

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Gone are the days where most people are truly loyal and dedicated to their teams, jobs, schools, friends. Look at pro sports. I remember when I was younger and would go to the Reds games and year after year the same players would be out on the field. Now-a-days It's hard to get to know a team because of all the trading. Instead of school pride and loyalty you have kids open inrolling to other schools if the decide the may get more playing time for a certain sport at a different school. I think my grandfather had the same job all his life and would drop everything if needed at work. How many people can say that now. ?We started ?with Ohio Wave 4yrs ago . My dd was only 8yrs old. She played 3 years of 10u softball. (talk about dedication, 3yrs of 10u sometimes feels like 6) When we started with this program we had little expectations of play time in her first year but great expectations for the program. The program has grown and she has grown through that program tremendously. We've seen people come and go through the years ?as you would in any program. People have left feeling their DDs didn't get enough play time or didn't play where they wanted them to, but I can't think of one who truly found greener grass. In fact some of them found no grass at all, because the teams they decided to form or go play for never really happened. We teach our children loyalty and dedication to ?their team, friends, family, etc. We don't allow them to quit when things get hard. We also let them know that things aren't always easy and you may not get exactly what you want or get to play the position you want but if you work hard for what you want?and then you do get it, it will mean so much more. ? ? ? ? ? ? Mrs Ohio Wave 11u

 

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Well said Mrs. Wave!!

[highlight]Before you climb over that fence, make sure that the "greener grass" wasn't fertilized by Bull "Manure". [/highlight]

Like johnnies said, greener grass can be deceiving. I don't look for it because that just means I'll have to mow more and I don't have time now to mow. My DD has a hearing problem, my son has a allergy problem (allergic to lawn mowers) and my wife has a shopping problem. That leaves me with a big problem. I really don't like grass!!

 

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I like the loyalty to a program and coach, but this is rare anymore. Hey a bit of food for thought...

How do you handle it when you hear about a player being promised a spot and position on a team the year ahead of time? Do you proceed to try out for the team and outplay the lady or do you work on learning another position? Gotta love some of the aspects of softball!

 

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Again how can a coach see ahead one year and promise positions for the next year? Again, honesty when communicating is huge! That coach has no idea what may happen to his team for the next year. I say try out for the position but I sure would be lookin.
Everyone posting is talking about dedication from the players I still say coaches have big role in dedication to their players as well. Coaches should and need to be up front with players so a player knows what to work on, not just set a player and never explain, or cut a player and never explain. At least the player can understand where the coach is coming from. If a coach is truly a coach they would want to see their player, especially a so called "core player" improve and would help them a long, especially when that player and family have shown much dedication!

 

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Why is it that people who change teams are often made out to be purely selfish and evil?

Wave, what if your program and your daughter hadn't grown tremendously? Just because it is the right program for you doesn't mean anyone who made a decision to try somewhere else is a "quitter."

When you sign on with a team, you sign on for a season. Neither the players nor the managers are obligated further than that. You've made a commitment for that year, and your loyalty is shown by staying for the season and contributing. You (and your managers) have a choice before the next season as to whether you stay or go elsewhere.

If you are lucky enough to start with a team that works for you, you are lucky and that's terrific (we stayed with our first team for five years). But even a good team is not right for everyone, especially when girls get older and their expectations from softball can vary widely.

 

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AnotherSoftballMom
I agree not every team is right for everyone and I do consider our family very lucky. Sometimes, though people expect to much to soon. They don't give an organization, a coach, and their daughter enough time to bond and blend. People just have to be very carefull when you leave a team for "me reasons" and not actual flaws of the organization. I know not everyone leaves for these kind of reasons, but alot of them do.

 

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WOW! If I had another DD coming up through softball, I'd have her start at the top and just try out for the Lasers, Grand Slam, Wolfpack etc. If she didn't make one of these top teams at a young age, we'd just forget softball, and go to something else - because it sounds like you're labeled a traitor if you even think about trying to better yourself. Let's all just play to the lowest common denominator, and we'll all be happy!!

:-?

 

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I dont think playing to the lowest common denominator is the answer either, this thread was started by talking about dedication and while I believe in dedication and loyalty from a players point of view, I also believe that coaches owe it to their players too be dedicated to see them through as well. I believe that for the season the player should give 100 percent and live up to their end of the deal. I believe that the team should be a good fit for that player to grow. A lot of that has to do with the coaching and dedication of the player. If a player is a "core player", then how much more should that coach be able to be up front with a player and let them know what they need to work on.
All teams have their problems and dont be so blind to say that organization such as sammy mentioned do not experience problems too.
It is nice that some people have found the right fit right at the start, others it does take time. But once it is found it is worth it!

 

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My dd has chosen to go to another team this year. In no way is she a traitor. She started the season with a organization the did not live up to it's end of the deal. She was a young pitcher and I never expected her to have a lot of rubber time. However, I did expect her to have some and have coaches help develop her into a better pitcher and fielder and hitter. Isn't that part of the commitment being made!! When my dd did not even get warmed up she was very upset. I told her that she needed to practice and get better so that her coaches would have to see the improvement and pitch her. Everyday that child pulled me into the back yard to catch her. EVERYDAY! She got so much faster and so much more accurate. When she asked her coach EVERY GAME if she could warm up he told her "no you don't have to worry about that".

We went to every game, every tournament knowing that she would not get pitched or even warmed up. This team was not a winning team. It would not have hurt him a bit to throw her, not one bit!! Those coaches turned their back on her. Do Not talk about changing teams for the betterment of our dd's as not being loyal!! We showed up at EVERY GAME knowing. We did not quit!! But we will not do that again this year! To ease her tears I kept telling her that next year would be her year. Guess what it is!! Every team she tried out for offered her a pitching spot. None of them could believe that the team she was on didn't pitch her.

Loyalty goes both ways! If you are a coach with any salt at all you will develop these young athletes into ballplayers.

Someone please take away my soap box!! Sorry, OFC a lot of emotions were left out on those fields. This year our grass is green!!

Ringer, I will mow everday if I have to!! ;D

 

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sad627 sounds like you taught your daughter a good lesson on not giving up. Sounds like the coaches really left her down. I commend you for hanging in there. I in no way feel that people are traders for leaving an organization where their daughter is gaining nothing. Bottom line for me players have to be constantly learning, working and playing. It takes dedication again from the player and the coach.
You are exactly right loyalty goes both ways and communication is a big key to that. When a player sets constantly and is not told why or when she is never given a chance its time to rethink as parents and players and evaluate the coaches or organization.
I applaud coaches who dedicate their time and lives to kids who want to actually make a differences and see them through. Coaches who dedicate time on the ball field in practice or game time for kids to learn about themselves and not be afraid to try. To me that is a coach, not just teaching technique (very important), but teaching a kid to take a chance and believe in themself. There are bigger lessons in life to learn then just winning all the time.

 

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Sometimes you are forced to check out the grass on the other side :-X...............Sometimes that coach assumes you are looking at the "greener grass" and decides to close the gate to "His Yard" :-?. DD liked her old grass (played on it for 3 years), but the rumors about the "greener grass" ruin her chance to play on her old grass, that was plenty green :-[.............But now she is liking the other sides "green grass". Will it be greener in the long run........Only time will tell

 

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Well, I was just a little sarcastic in my earlier post. But to be honest, I think some head coaches get themselves into a sticky "friendship" situation by having 2 or 3 assistant coaches and maybe a scorekeeper, all with daughters on the team. Tough to get them to admit it, but there are friendship and loyalty ties among the coaches, and rarely does a coach "fire" his friends because their DD doesn't develop into a good athlete.

Regardless of the talent level of those DDs, they will always be on the team. They may be VERY talented, or they may be mediocre athletes, or any combination. But they likely will be the core group that sets the competitive tone for the whole team.

If a player and her parents have been supportive of the team, and the player has given her all, that is their annual part of the bargain. A coach worth his/her salt will always have the players best interest at heart. Coaches know - they can feel it - if they are holding a player back. Sure, you'd love to keep that stellar pitcher or shortstop with the killer bat, but is that REALLY what's best for her? Give her a hug and send her on to greener pastures. Be proud she was one of your players - one you helped on her path to success. Life's too short to hold grudges anyway.

 

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I don't recall anybody being called a traitor. I think what Mrs. Wave was trying expres is that just look for green grass for the right reasons. If you let your emotions lead the way, you may be blinded by the "fertilized" grass that johnnies spoke of. We had two girls move on this year and I don't consider them traitors. One of the fathers came to me and we spoke about his DD's situation. He is moving to another organization to be coach. She is a decent pitcher, but unfortunately, we had some very good pitchers ahead of her. He just wants to put his DD in a situation where she can compete for a #1 or #2 spot and get the reps she needs. I fully understand his situation. We left on good terms and wished each other luck. If she came back next year to tryout, she would be given a fair shot like every other girl.

 

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Before I start, DON'T AMBUSH ME! But,...Seems the most familiar scenario is "Pitchers and Pitchers parents getting ticked-off because their kid isn't getting enough time on the mound". ?There is always 1, on every team, that doesn't get to throw as much, and that 1 is usually "miffed" most of the season. ?As a parent of a pitcher, I understand. ?I'd love to see my kid pitching every game, but she's not the best pitcher on the team, so I don't expect that. ?I think SOME of us, as parents, MAYBE need to be realistic and stand back & take a look at things. ?Its tough for a coach, who wants to please all the parents & the players, but also knows that aside from his job of building strong, competitive ball players, his job is to WIN! ?If the coach makes sure each pitcher gets equal time on the mound, even the weakest of the group, in effort to be fair, THEN THE PARENTS ARE TICKED OFF BECAUSE THE TEAM IS LOSING. ?If the coach makes the best possible decision, for the good of the team, and uses the pitcher(s) that will get the job done and contribute to a win, THEN THE PARENTS OF THE PITCHER THAT DIDN'T GET TO THROW ARE TICKED OFF BECAUSE THEIR KID ISN'T PITCHING! ?Its a no-win situation. ?I'm not even a coach, but I see it year after year after year on my daughter's teams. ?I truly believe with MOST coaches, their intentions of playing each girl are genuine at the beginning of the season. ?When players don't perform like they need to, or claim they are capable of, then coaches need to make decisions for the good of the team. ?Someone is always going to get ticked-off, thats just the way it is. ?Even though we as parents like to believe that all of our kids are the best ball players in the world, they just aren't. ?And the parents who refuse to realize that, make it a long and miserable season for the coach. ? 10U is one thing, but as these girls get older, the need to perform and excel is very important and is what determines who plays and who doesn't.
As far as the grass being greener on the other side, sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. ?I believe honesty among players and coaches is always the best route to take. ?But it boils down to this, we have to do what is best for our kids. ?

 

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eatsleep ---I don't think you will get ambushed ----your points are very valid. many many a travel team has started off what you just mentioned , Coaches and parents don't agree over who should be throwing, or playing , and the parent starts their own bunch. That scenario or very similiar has led to too many teams (now the real ambushing will start). Let me say I'm speaking for my own area on the too many teams comment. another announcement this morning was made on a different website. Next year in my county their will be maybe 3-4 teams and 2-3 are 1st year start-ups. at 10-12u. It's that grass is always greener stuff. MD

 

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I agree totally...... You do what is best for your DD(s) bottom line and if some people can't see that then that is on them.

 

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,...Seems the most familiar scenario is "Pitchers and Pitchers parents getting ticked-off because their kid isn't getting enough time on the mound". ?There is always 1, on every team, that doesn't get to throw as much, and that 1 is usually "miffed" most of the season. ? ?

Of course, this happened on our team this year... the family is angry with the coach, the organization, etc. because the DD didn't get enough mound time so this year, they accept an offer with another organization. Good choice except that this particular team has three other pitchers already.


My question is, if I have a DD pitcher who needs mound time ( I do), shouldn't I be looking for a team where she is going to be able to compete for a reasonable amount of time -- not necssarily the most-talented overall team? I don't really want her to be on a team where I know two very strong pitchers are already ahead of her, do I?

 

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Good point bucks, not everybody wants to upgrade. I'm sure some parents are looking to downgrade so their DD can go from #7 or 8 on the team to #2 or 3. Just don't complain when the team isn't winning as much because winning wasn't your original goal.

 

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Some teams are so loaded that even though there is a core set of girls, there are others setting the bench that can get the job done too and maybe arent given the chance as often. When a team is winning and is so far ahead in the game, maybe sometimes the core group should be brought out, or some kind of rotation done, to give others a chance. Everyone pays to play, so rotation is always a good thing.
And yes sometimes you do have to move on and maybe it isnt always to upgrade organization wise but if it means your daughter will play and be able to contribute and grow as a player then you do what you have to do.
She may just step up and play the game like you as a parent knew she could, but the coach had no faith.......
Finding the right fit..........we could go on and on, again it comes back to dedication on EVERYONES part, and if you do the best you can in upholding your end of the deal and still have to move on, atleast you will have no regrets.

 

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The grass is NOT always greener...

I am going to chime in on this post and I'm not quit sure why ?:-?.... but I am hoping my post is going to open some eyes on how or why the Wolfpack, does, will do, or has done things! These statements are my own, and in no way refelct anyone else from the Wolfpack. I just want to make sure that everyone realizes that these are [highlight]MY [/highlight]reflections on [highlight]MY [/highlight]organization.

I guess the main reason I am posting is because of my PRIDE for the Wolfpack. I am not on here today to promote the Wolfpack, nor am I trying to defend anything the Wolfpack has done or may do in the future, but rather to share my own personal observations from the side of what "Sammy" says, is one of the top Organizations or Teams in Ohio.

Or maybe I posted today because of some GUILT that I have for past players. Over the past 8-9 years, I have seen girls come and go within the Wolfpack Organization, and everytime one leaves I ask myself numerous questions: But never do I get many answers.........
1. What did we do to make that girl not want to continue to play for us?
2. How can I improve this Organization to attract new players 10U-18U?
3. Why do people want to play for the Wolfpack?
4. What do we have to offer that makes us better than another organization? What don't we offer?
5. Why do people want to play for the Wolfpack? Why don't people want to play for us? ?

First off I'd like to say Thank You, to Sammy (sarcastic or not), for considering The Wolfpack as one of the "Best." I'm not sure what "Best" means...Organization or Team? But Thank You anyhow. I guess I felt I needed to speak up when I saw this post because when I see our name appear on OFC or JJHUDDLE I just want to make sure that all the information is warranted and true, so to the best of my knowledge it is. Since poster Sammy threw out my organizations name as being one of the top teams along with Grand Slam, Lasers, and etc. I'm going to go out on a limb and let you know that the Wolfpack is not any better than anyone else when it comes to "the grass being greener." We make mistakes too, we are all human as well, but [highlight]I[/highlight] will take [highlight]ALL [/highlight]of the blame from anyone that has had a bad experience with the Wolfpack, because it eventually falls back into my lap as being the head of the Wolfpack Organization. I know along the way at some point in the last 8-9 years myself or other coaches have cut the wrong kids, kept the wrong kids, played kids in the wrong positions, batted for kids, pulled kids from the game, sat kids, told 1/2 truths to get players, promised positions or playing time. With that all being said, it is sad to say that most teams have done it from time to time to get that "special" player. Well shame on me for even thinking it yet allowing it to ever happen whether on my team or any team within the Wolfpack. When I started the Wolfpack 8-9 years ago I never invisioned an organization, only 1 team, built on only my beliefs, values, and philosophies. Because when you add new teams and new coaches you can't always know that the new coaches will have your same beliefs, values and philosophies. ?

I personally have put in 8-9 long years building the Wolfpack that I am still very proud of. The Wolfpack was built from the ground up with a strong foundation and with players best interests in mind. That was and still is my beliefs for the Wolfpack Organization.....I am not out to be the biggest organization or the organization with the most trophies. The Wolfpack is in operation to provide dedicated fastpitch players with an opportunity to participate with a quality program dedicated to teaching basic fundamentals. I want ever player to excel academically, spiritually, and athletically. I told myself to never lose sight of the fact that softabll is a "people business" and people are the most important thing in your program. Any kid that played for me understood and believed that I cared about them and that I worked in her best interest. Dealing with young people in this manner will provide the Wolfpack the basis to be considered a "successful" organization.

I often ask myself questions like, "What can I do to make these girls feel special? How can I get these girls to trust me? I felt that if I could win their trust, then winning games would be the easy part. To me it has always been about teaching life lessons. I stress with each player how important trust, loyalty, committment, and building friendships with each other are. Each player that I ever coached was made to feel they were an important part of our softball family. I went out of my way to do things for kids to make them feel special and feel like they had ownership in the team, rather than, "I am the coach and you are the players mentality." ?

I once was told by a very special man, George Duhon, "That whatever you do in life make sure that you do it the best you can, and that you do it with ALL your heart, and most importantly do it because you LOVE it!" He also told me, "First impressions are unfortunatly very true, so make sure that you do things the right way, the very first time. When you are teaching kids, do it because you love it, not because you are trying to gain something from them. Teach basic fundamentals because without a sturdy foundation the walls will eventually crack and the house will eventually cave in on your head."

Remember we are the ones teaching the values of the next generation. I urge parents, to find the right fit, for both you and your daughter, it is not an easy process. Take your time, research before you commit. Don't rush anything. Watch teams and coaches during the summer. See how they interact with players, other players, parents, coaches and tournament officials and then make your decision.

The best motto I ever learned was to treat people with honesty and respect because that would be the way I would want to be treated. Players, coaches and parents deserve this. [highlight]Remember why we do this???? It is and always should be ALL about the girls!![/highlight] Why would anyone want to come to a team or organization if you treated them any other way. That is what the Wolfpack was built on when I started it back in 1999.

When looking over the fence at the greener grass make sure that it is the right fit for you and your family before hopping the fence.

Jamie Wolff