Why we do it and why it matters how we do it.

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I'd like to share my opinions on why we do it and why it matters how we do it. So many coaches and parents say "it's for the kids", but very few walk the walk. It's for the kids as long as its really just for their kid or reliving some lost time from when they played or coached. Whether it's daddyball,or bashing a coaches decision to leave a pitcher in so loudly that the kid who is pitching her heart out for you is within earshot of your rant, or coaches that continue to argue calls that have long been decided right or wrong, or screaming at players for a mistake that everyone is pretty sure she already knows she did, or bashing your coaches on the sidelines so often without ever taking to them that it ruins team chemistry and your coaches ability to function and teach. We are all caretakers of this game and developers of the character of the young ladies in our charge. How we coach, support and play this game matters. We should approach it with a high degree of enthusiasm and effort, but also with respect and a strong positive approach. I always tell my players that we never get too high and we never get too low, our game face is a smile of determination and we will learn from every failure by coming back harder the next time and support our teammates when they need it. Parents......have respect for the time and energy your coaches put in by not only expressing your feelings when things are tough, but also by letting them know you appreciate their hard work as it is a very thankless job and few get paid. Communicate with them when you disagree and keep things positive for your child and the team you pledged to support. Show that you are a role model with respect for the game and not a selfish non-team player only out for your own self interests. It matters.....and we are not just building Softball players, we are building young adults and future coaches and parents. We should refuse to surround our children with adults that they cannot respect, winning is not a cure-all for disrespecting the game or each other. Sorry for the rant......and this is not meant as a shot at anyone in particular, but if you relate to it, might be time to make a change.

 

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Well said-It was hard to leave coaching for health reasons, but I was able to make the decision due in large part to the parents and there attitude. I could not commit anymore when it was draining to me every time I went to practice.

You have done a great job with these girls-I was honored to coach with you for the short time that I did.

Kep up the great work and these girls will not only be great players, but an exceptional part of tomorrow's society due in large part to your approach to teaching the game.

 

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Well said-It was hard to leave coaching for health reasons, but I was able to make the decision due in large part to the parents and there attitude. I could not commit anymore when it was draining to me every time I went to practice.

You have done a great job with these girls-I was honored to coach with you for the short time that I did.

Kep up the great work and these girls will not only be great players, but an exceptional part of tomorrow's society due in large part to your approach to teaching the game.

Steph, Thank you. I had fun coaching with you and your daughter, the girls really responded to you and I wish it could have been longer.

 

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I want to share an experience we had last night while I was coaching my older daughters 14u OGSO rec team, that goes hand in hand with this thread. The back story is we were playing a 2-0 team of mostly 13yr olds that had shut out their last two opponents 1-0 and 10-0, very good rec teams, with a very strong former travel pitcher. We are a mix of 4 11-12 yr olds, including Maddog my 11 yr old starting pitcher, a couple 13 and a couple 14 yr olds. Most of our team were out of softball due to bad experiences with past coaches and had never played together before. Once they heard that I was coaching with Coach Tim, we had surprising enough to add a 3rd 14u rec team for our area......no one expected us to do well and we just wanted to battle and teach the game. Well we won 10-5 to go to 3-0, but that's not what's important to this story. The opposing team parents were very negative and loud to our coaches and players, while my parents and coaches were positive and even stood up and cheered them as they hit "2" back to back homeruns off of Madi and a couple triples, while they just berated us at every turn. The difference was our 11 yr old pitcher flashed a huge smile after the homers and just kept bringing it for 6 innings, while theirs was pulled in tears and was openly arguing with her dad and coaches. The difference in demeanor and respect for the game....matters!!!! It will show up as strength and character when it is most needed, win or lose. I had more fun and pride last night as a coach and father as I have ever had and I cannot wait until we take the field tomorrow to try and go 4-0, win or lose we will be cheering and smiling and I guarantee will learn something about the game and ourselves. Gotta love it!

 

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Congrats to you coachtomv! My DD has been very fortunate to have coaches like you in travel, the ones who teach not just skills but, more importantly, love and respect for game-the kind that creates girls of strength and character who shine no matter the outcome of the game.

 

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Tom ... great post, with lots of things for both coaches and parents to think about.

I know I made many mistakes when I was coaching, but I do know in my heart that I was trying to do the right things for the right reason 98% of the time. And I think a vast majority of the parents are doing that as well. I met so many wonderful families over the many years I have coached. With that being said, it sounds like initfor51 and I have something in common ... I also made a decision to step down recently primarily because of a trend I have seen in the last three years re: the attitude of some parents. I was experiencing a lot of stress and even losing some sleep as the result of dealing with parents, something maybe I was just lucky to have pretty much escaped in my first 25 years of coaching youth athletics. I miss like crazy now working and laughing with the girls, as well as the game itself, but I know it was the right thing for me to do at the time.

I hope to get back to it eventually, and I know a few things I would do differently to deal with it, but I'm also hoping a lot that in the meantime, more parents figure out what's really important in life and especially what's best for their daughters.

 

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Tom ... great post, with lots of things for both coaches and parents to think about.

I know I made many mistakes when I was coaching, but I do know in my heart that I was trying to do the right things for the right reason 98% of the time. And I think a vast majority of the parents are doing that as well. I met so many wonderful families over the many years I have coached. With that being said, it sounds like initfor51 and I have something in common ... I also made a decision to step down recently primarily because of a trend I have seen in the last three years re: the attitude of some parents. I was experiencing a lot of stress and even losing some sleep as the result of dealing with parents, something maybe I was just lucky to have pretty much escaped in my first 25 years of coaching youth athletics. I miss like crazy now working and laughing with the girls, as well as the game itself, but I know it was the right thing for me to do at the time.

I hope to get back to it eventually, and I know a few things I would do differently to deal with it, but I'm also hoping a lot that in the meantime, more parents figure out what's really important in life and especially what's best for their daughters.

Jeff,
You can be Ashe's coach anytime. We were lucky enough to get to spend time with you last year. Both Ashe and I have learned a lot from you. I consider you a good friend and truly appreciate all you did for our family. Hopefully you did enjoy last year as much as we did.

 

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Thanks, Andrew ... it was a pleasure to coach Ashe and I consider you a good friend as well ... looking forward to seeing you guys hopefully in a few weeks down your way!