Bad Coach

[softballmomof1]

My daughter tried out for a 12u team a few weeks ago. The coach said all parents will receive an email even if a spots not offered. Well a week had passed so I emailed the organization looking for information. Come to find out the coach had my email wrong. Well he processed to tell me my daughter didnt fit the team and he had all his spots taken for the year. My daughter had a great tryout. She didn't miss a ball that was thrown her way. She ran her butt of and her batting was great also. She just had an issue with buntting. Because she was never shown how threw her rec leauge. Well i posted saying my daughter was looking for a team. And he privately messages me asking to set up a private tryout for her. So I copied the email he sent me. And told him my daughter already tried out and was told she was not need and the team was full. If your team was full why are ypu private massaging looking for more girls? Tell the truth because the one ypur private messaging may have already yroed out for your team.

 

[Pacerdad57]

I'm guessing that there is really no ulterior motive behind the coaches' pm to you. There are a lot of girls.trying out, probably pretty hard to keep track of everyone that is at tryouts, contacting you, sending pm's etc. Could be he thought his team was set and someone backed out, no way of knowing what happened to his situation, but that doesn't necessarily make him a bad coach.....jmo


go Pacers!

 

[dawgpound19]

I would just chalk it down to a lesson learned and move on to the next team, there are plenty of teams out there looking for hard working girls that love the game! Even if this coach offered your daughter a spot I wouldn't accept it just on principal. We've gone to tryouts in the past and learned what organizations try to string you along, what coaches/organizations pay attention to who your daughter is and where she plays, etc. and we've turned down offers just on principal. Luckily for us we've found a great organization and coaches that care about my daughter, checks her grade cards, asks her about school, he'll come to the girls volleyball and basketball games on his own time, etc. it's softball but it's also going to be your softball family for the next 10 months.

 

[The3dm]

My daughter tried out for a 12u team a few weeks ago. The coach said all parents will receive an email even if a spots not offered. Well a week had passed so I emailed the organization looking for information. Come to find out the coach had my email wrong. Well he processed to tell me my daughter didnt fit the team and he had all his spots taken for the year.

I think he did answer you truthfully and this was a simple case of misunderstanding. To me this means your daughter didn't fit the position he was looking to fill and he had all the ancillary players he needed. Granted he probably could have explained it better, but when you are calling/emailing a bunch of kids you try to keep it as brief as possible. Next time you will know what questions to ask to better understand why your DD was not selected. Most Good coaches are more than willing to give you feedback if you ask.

 

[Louuuuu]

but when you are calling/emailing a bunch of kids you try to keep it as brief as possible.

Or, there were too many girls at tryouts to remember exactly why you didn't find her suitable. The ones that stick in your mind are the ones you really want.

 

[CoachTEA]

Or, there were too many girls at tryouts to remember exactly why you didn't find her suitable. The ones that stick in your mind are the ones you really want.

We took pictures to refresh our aging memories. I received 2 complaints within a week from parents saying they didn't hear anything from the coach after the tryout. Whereas we didn't offer to reach back to everyone with a decision, this coach had committed to respond directly to some parents who inquired and he failed to follow up --- I addressed the matter with the coach. It is all about setting expectations and then doing what you say. Next season I want to automate the registration process (online) and make it easier if we elect and/or promise to follow up. I hate to say it, but sometimes following up opens up a "can of worms" and drags things out. We had 200+ kids for our tryouts; some parents take the news well and others don't, but I agree if a promise to follow-up is made, then do it!

 

[Justamom]

This happened to a friend of mine last season. When she told me the coach told her the team was full I knew it wasn't. The coach was also a friend of mine and had a post here on OFC looking for three. The truth was her daughter was not at the same skill level as the players he already had and the mom is a bit of a headache. In order to avoid the awkwardness of the truth he just said the team was full.

 

[CoachTEA]

This happened to a friend of mine last season. When she told me the coach told her the team was full I knew it wasn't. The coach was also a friend of mine and had a post here on OFC looking for three. The truth was her daughter was not at the same skill level as the players he already had and the mom is a bit of a headache. In order to avoid the awkwardness of the truth he just said the team was full.

Yikes!!! That is a difficult situation, but as a parent I think most would rather hear "it is YOU; not your daughter". I will admit there are kids I passed on (or would pass on) because Mom and/or Dad is a PITA. Of course, I have also said my next team will be all orphans! ;-)

 

[daboss]

I think he did answer you truthfully and this was a simple case of misunderstanding. To me this means your daughter didn't fit the position he was looking to fill and he had all the ancillary players he needed. Granted he probably could have explained it better, but when you are calling/emailing a bunch of kids you try to keep it as brief as possible. Next time you will know what questions to ask to better understand why your DD was not selected. Most Good coaches are more than willing to give you feedback if you ask.

Geez, can't you take a hint? Somebody hit them over a head with a 2x4. There, does that make you feel any better? Okay, maybe not the best skilled coach trying to give you bad news but the message was there, even as you explained it. Your girl is not good enough for the expectations of the team they are trying to assemble. So how do you want your medicine? Straight up or with some sugar. The guy gave you an outlet to let your lovely daughter down easy. He threw you a bone. Why are you complaining? Find a better fitting team, work on her skills to improve, then go back next year and try again. That'll show em!!!! Everyone will be a winner.

 

[AndrewGeorge]

I hope you find a team for you DD to play on this year, as I do for everyone player / parent that enjoys this sport. That said, I think people in general need to take a step back, take a second and realize that these coaches are looking for players that will enable their team and organization to be successful. Most coaches in general are not going to just decide they don't want your DD out of spite or malice. Those that do (if any) are likely not going to be around long enough to do it multiple years. There are so many organizations out there. Those organizations have many levels or success. Understand going in what you are trying out for. The more successful the team and organization, the more selective those coaches are likely to be.

Also, dont be so quick to burn bridges. As it was pointed out above, there are typically a few tryout dates for each time. Many players will show up to multiple organizations and some will be offered by more than one team. Once that player makes their selection there are going to be some openings again on teams that had offers not accepted. Those coaches will often start looking for players that are advertising themselves. This sounds like what happened in this particular case. The DD was not originally offered, the players that were offered did not all accept, and now that coach is looking for a few players. If everything has been cordial between both sides there might still be a chance to have another tryout and get that offer. If not, just say no thanks and move on.

Parents, support your DD and encourage them to not give up. Do not bad mouth every team that does not offer your DD a spot. Try to make sure your DD knows going in that even if they do their best it is not a sure bet they will be offered. There are a few things that go into making a "team" and only one of them is talent.

Best of luck with your DD making a team that she will enjoy and learn from.

 

[FastBat]

Parents, support your DD and encourage them to not give up. Do not bad mouth every team that does not offer your DD a spot. Try to make sure your DD knows going in that even if they do their best it is not a sure bet they will be offered. There are a few things that go into making a "team" and only one of them is talent.

It may not have anything to do with your dd's ability. It's like this in college too. If your dd has her heart set on a certain university, the university may have several deep in her positions, she may have to look elsewhere to play. Same is true in TB, they aren't just taking the 9 most athletic, they need to fill certain playing positions.

Good luck! Don't give up, there is a team for her!