"cmon, lets not get yelled at..."

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I heard a 12u girl say that to her teamates today in a fall league game after someone made a bad play. There coach yelled at them a few times previusly with harse tone and negative connotation.

Made me think back to the days when i used to yell at kids...

What r your thoughts? Is yelling productive? Does it help accomplish team goals? When u c the girl again in ten years what will that convo be like?

 

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It depends on the kids and age group. Some can handle, some can't.

 

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All sports are games of emotion. IMO constructive criticism is part of the game. Now, you always have to pick them up after tearing them down and explain why or how to do the task at hand. Remember the difference between boys and girls is that boys have to play good to feel good and girls have to feel good to play good. Always leave on a positive note.

 

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the difference between boys and girls is that boys have to play good to feel good and girls have to feel good to play good.

You, my friend, "Get it".

Keep it up.

 

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The only thing that girls get out of a coach yelling ..... .'with harse tone and negative connotation' is that they all agree that he is an idiot. It is the quickest way to unify a team.

 

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Always found that I got better results by pulling the girl(s) off to the side and calmly explaining what they did wrong and how they could correct it.

 

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gotta use the compliment sandwhich!! build.... burn... build and leave it on a positive note. i hate yellers!!!!!

 

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I am not a fan of yelling, not only do the kids have no fun (that is what it's all about)it also shows that the coach is insecure, he/she wants everybody to know he/she doesn't teach that.

There is a % of kids out there that are so coddled at home, any correction in fundamentals after a mistake is taken as yelling... Regardless of how the message is delivered.

 

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You want to some yelling at young girls watch an episode of "Dance Moms" or "Cheer"

 

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I'm not a fan of yelling either, but occasionally will yell out something to a defensive player (often an outfielder) who has neglected to back up a throw or hit, or just as often to compliment them for doing so. Uber, while I have no doubt that some coaches do yell to let others know they don't teach that, I don't think it's fair to make that generalization about all. I want the girls in the field to be fully alert at all times and knowing their responsibilities ... but I also want them to know that we do see and appreciate it when they're doing the right thing as well, and I think this is best done through immediate feedback. Otherwise, especially for girls, I think most of the reminders or issues are better taken care of in the dugout after the inning or game.

 

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I have come full circle, use to yell. Now I have a different way of dealing with things. Mike Candrea told me at a clinic, some times you have to let the girls figure it out. At times the person yelling the loudest and talking the most knows the least. So we try not to enter the dug out or even talk to the girls when they are in there. Thats their space. The ride home I try to give my DD a cool off time and dont mention anything about the games unless she brings it up 1st. In the past it was a lashing the whole way home. Now practice is my time, they hear an ear full. some yelling and high pressure, but come game time I want them relaxed and focused on the task at hand. Champions arent born they are made on and off the field.

This game is wwaaayyy more mental and emotional then physical IMHO

 

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Praise in public, criticize in private.

I can count on one hand the times I felt it necessary to dole out criticism to a player, usually used to motivate a slacker (still always done in private). If you expect these kids to be perfect 100% of the time, you do not belong in coaching IMHO.

When a kid makes a mistake, they know it and are tearing them self down already. Best bet is to ensure they know what should have been done and pick them back up with a reminder of some of the good things they've done. No single play ever loses a game!

 

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Definitly not a fan of the football coach yelling mentality, it does absolutley nothing productive. I always saw it as masking coaching short comings lol.

 

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Football is one thing...it is a game played on emotion. Yelling can bring out the necessary response...but if you're yelling at 12 travel softball players, I am of the opinion that you are coaching the game for the wrong reasons. The game, at this level and as I understand it, is about teaching and growing the skills of the young ladies so they can pursue their dreams of playing at the next level or, at the very least, play high school varsity/acheive the highest level they can. Yes, you play to win the game...but what good does it do the kids to scream at them constantly? is it because winning that game/tournament looks better on YOUR resume? I guess some things I am not fully meant to understand.

 

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I dont agree with blasting your girls yelling at them. That being said I also dont agree with the attitude that losing is no big deal.

I stress the need for that burning desire to come out on top. We ae all going to lose and some will win, but when you have 2 teams that want it more then anything now you have a fight.

Ive had pool play that we stunk it up, my girls were so mad that we ran the losers bracket the next day. You cant have that without the desire to win.

IMO Wanting to be a champion and the best team on that day is just as important as learning to catch and throw.

Now the flip side is learning how to lose.How to motivate them from that pain of losing.

Don't underestimate the importance of competition. So many people have been so sheltered in "Its just for fun" that they have no drive to fight.

I stress to my team, yes we want to win and we will lose but its about the fight! The battle of 2 teams that is what SPORTS is about. Yes we can teach these darlings a million lessons but OMO the willingness to fight to be great is VERY important.

Heck my DD cant stand losing at checkers!

 

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a competitive edge and desire to win. However, when you are screaming at kids on the diamond and dugout is the girl actually learning anything? I drive my kids to be the best they can be...and I know how to push their buttons to motivate them...but I also teach them. If a kid has a brain cramp in the field and it costs the team a game...do I scream at her for costing the team the game or do I talk to her about what she did wrong and use it to teach? Lets face it...not all of these kids are going on to college to play and by 14/16u a vast majority of the 'for fun' crowd has left the game...the kid continuting to make errors in the field will find that her reward will be no longer playing the game beyond high school.
Anything else and I fear coaches yelling at kids are more embarrassed for how the error reflects on him than him trying to teach/reach a kid.

 

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a competitive edge and desire to win. However, when you are screaming at kids on the diamond and dugout is the girl actually learning anything? I drive my kids to be the best they can be...and I know how to push their buttons to motivate them...but I also teach them. If a kid has a brain cramp in the field and it costs the team a game...do I scream at her for costing the team the game or do I talk to her about what she did wrong and use it to teach? Lets face it...not all of these kids are going on to college to play and by 14/16u a vast majority of the 'for fun' crowd has left the game...the kid continuting to make errors in the field will find that her reward will be no longer playing the game beyond high school.
Anything else and I fear coaches yelling at kids are more embarrassed for how the error reflects on him than him trying to teach/reach a kid.

I agree, yelling is no the best approach

 

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If you are talking about screaming at them then that will never work. If you are talking about a more aggressive than usual discussion that can work at times.
I believe there are rare times when a little fire can be a good thing but it takes a good and experienced coach to know when and how to do so.
A game can range from highly emotionally charged to somewhat sterile at any given time. There is little to be gained at yelling in situations that are not important.

If you have always been supportive, your intentions and values are established they then understand you are there for them so in the right situation a little flash of anger can snap players out of a funk or perhaps push them to a higher level of competivness they had not previously attained. Particularly when they are trying to learn how to win or not fold when close to achievement. You can show anger but still be positive.

If the players read that it is a display of passion and it isnt an attack they will respond with more resolve. If they percieve it as an attack then they will shut down.
However do this any less than rarely and it will have no impact or make matters worse. Tread lightly.

That all being said if you are inexperienced at coaching or have any doubts then it is a safer bet to not do it at all and go all calm and positive all the time.

 

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If you have always been supportive, your intentions and values are established they then understand you are there for them so in the right situation a little flash of anger can snap players out of a funk or perhaps push them to a higher level of competitiveness they had not previously attained. [ ... ]

If they perceive it as an attack then they will shut down. However do this any less than rarely and it will have no impact or make matters worse. Tread lightly.

I think this is truly the best response. I have seen it on both accounts - a kid who is coached to believe in herself and feels valued by a coach can be pushed to greater potential with harsh (but constructive) criticism. Then there is the kid who is led to believe she is not valuable and perhaps unworthy of the coach's attention and the same attack will not only shut her down, but if continued likely cause her to quit the game.

Coaches can dole out the same level of criticism on 2 different players - one who has been customarily built up and supported by the coach and one who has been put down. The reaction of each player in that situation does not match their ability or talent.

This is very much a mental game. It takes a REALLY good coach (and a bigger man/woman) to know where they stand with their players and how to get them to play their best.

 

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I think that girls take things differently from a male coach and a female coach. I yell during games but I make it a point to tell my girls often that if I am yelling while they are on the field I am doing it so they hear me above all others.
My dad taught me a long time ago that boys are different than girls and that if I want to get something through to a girl I need to look her in the eye and talk to her about it. I used to watch him get down on his knees to look his 10U players in the eye and I will always have a lot of respect for him becuase of that.
Every coach has a different coaching style and every player responds to that differently, you just have to get to know your players and know how they are going to respond to you. I think that is the main objective, to learn about your players and know what motivates them to try harder or to focus and to use it.