Drugs/Alcohol Policy

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I'm listening to Herby on 1460 and in Grandview tonight they are meeting to determine wether they can hold students accountable if they are even AROUND someone who is drinking illegaly or doing drugs....

so, I'm thinking, maybe this doesn't pertain to our beautiful, innocent, (not) boycrazy DD's...so I'll tell my story.

High school varsity football, teen statman is at a kegger! QB, the entire defensive front 4, 2 or 3 offensive linemen, most of the bench, all drinking, including myself, I'm no saint
girl players present at the time? random cheer squad members, a few soccer players, some others
anyway, all of us would be suspended from our extra curricular events if caught...no drugs from what i remember, although don't ask me about college :-X

anyway, who is to enforce the law? team captains? man, those guys were sometimes worse than everyone else...i remember the one guy that stood up during a team meeting and blurted out all these names, i was like, "how brave" but in reality, it was "dude, now we can't have a good time!"

okay, i know there are plenty of ofc members that never took a swig during a high school party and actually remember their prom (okay, the last one was a joke, i do remember it!) but i'm sure there were others who were driving through their small town drive through and buying enough beer to quench the thirst of 30 whinos...

of course i don't want my DD even AT those parties, and maybe the attitude of many of us back in the day proved why the team weren't winners, or whatever, and maybe today;s youth stays from these things without having to sign a pact with their preacher/father/athletic director,,,

is this a great policy in theory?
will it even work?
will someone sue for right to privacy?
would you want a girl playing 16/18u that has had a few zima's off your travel team?

just wanted to see what everone else thought

 

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How could anyone hold a girl accountable or anyone else for that matter for some one elses actions.

 

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guilty by association is what I tell my girls. If you are not doing it at that particular moment, maybe the next time you will. Peer pressure can be tough. Put the fear of God in them I say

 

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Guilty by association resulted in a number of innocent people being shot at KSU on May4th, 38 years ago. I know, I was there.

I understand the intent of the rules but is it asking some to forgo the responsibility of taking care of their friends that did not make a good decision? Would you walk away from a friend that was not able to drive or would you make sure that you got them home safely? Sometimes your friends don't make the best decisions for themselves but, as a friend, do you turn your back on them and walk away for the sake of playing HS sports? These are some tough questions, but I can't believe that any "friend" wouldn't assist those who need help in those type of situations. I guess some will have to choose between getting in trouble with the school over seeing a friend's name in an obituary because he/she did not care enough to offer help when needed . I would hope that my DD would choose to help a friend, even the dumb ones.

Don't you think we are putting too much pressure on some of our youngsters? Jeez, growing up is hard enough these days.

 

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Statman,
years back when we went the age was 18 and some kids were in fact old enough during school to drink. Today THE LAW is 21. Regardless of high school, college, whatever. It's still the law. We have told our 4 it's your choice, you choose the actions you make. Be smart, don't put yourself in that situation and if by chance it was to happen at a party you were at, Call us to pick you up. If someone needed a ride home, we'd be the designated driver and let their parents handle if they needed to.

Personally knowing too many people who died driving drunk, or wasted their lives on Drugs, yeah we scared ours straight like that old show and they all turned out pretty well.

End of the day it's their choice, what choice will you make?

 

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You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with. The thing is, the more you hang around it, the more likely you are to engage in those activities. If the rules can deter that, and keep 1 kid from "trying"it, Great.

 

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one of the suggestions given on 1460 was that the teammate, if noticing another teammate making bad decisons would call a parent or physically take them from the situation, or at least not letting them drive home..
I've told my DD, your friends, or yourself get into something you regret, call, we'll drive everyone home and ask questions later....but i see other girls on the team and wonder, how is their support system? i'm surely not one to judge, i just hope the friends of my DD's parents are as tough as we are

or, do we as parents, become the role models? we just had a bash at the house, kids were away, but there was some mighty samplings taken that night (stay away from te-kill-ya!), and will there be the day my DD says, "you drink, why shouldn't i?" at least i can reply with, "i'm not breaking the law!"

 

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What is the goal of the policy to only save the "athlete"? It is not that I am supporting underage drinking I am not but how do the other students who are drinking suffer a lesser/no penalty and than those just in "attendance" do ?
I believe in personal accountability and if you do the crime you do the time but it just doesn't seem to make sense but I would not be a parent whinning if my child broke the rules having known what they were. Of course my dd never would ;D ;D

 

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I'm sorry, but I have ZERO tolerance for teenage drinking, and I dearly hope that I have impressed this on the dd. ?

Not only would I be gravely disappointed in her if she would imbibe, but if she would happen to find herself at an event where she saw other kids drinking---she knows she needs to get the heck outta there, pronto.

There is too much that can be lost if teens get involved with alcohol---privileges/parental trust/"innocence"/life.

I can give her boundaries for only a limited time, and after a certain age she will make her own choices. ?For now, I agree---if you're at a party where there is alcohol (even if you're not drinking), you better get your friends and leave, or prepare to face the consequences.

 

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Our school policy is: If you are at a party or somewhere, you have 10 minutes without penalty to asses the situation and make a descision to stay or go. And you are guilty by association if your at a place where there is alcohol whether you are partaking or not." Mrs. Ringer could probably explain it better because she is..........hang on.....Oh, I almost threw up.......a cheerleading coach.

 

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Katjo,
Our HOUSE zero tolerance also includes, The softball playing days will be over as our choice, the coach won't have to worry about it. Scholarships on the line or not. It would be a B##% to have to have them pay their own tuition now wouldn't it.

 

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I'm sorry, but I have ZERO tolerance for teenage drinking, and I dearly hope that I have impressed this on the dd.

Not only would I be gravely disappointed in her if she would imbibe, but if she would happen to find herself at an event where she saw other kids drinking---she knows she needs to get the heck outta there, pronto.

There is too much that can be lost if teens get involved with alcohol---privileges/parental trust/"innocence"/life.

I can give her boundaries for only a limited time, and after a certain age she will make her own choices. For now, I agree---if you're at a party where there is alcohol (even if you're not drinking), you better get your friends and leave, or prepare to face the consequences.

Agree, but the way some of these policies are written even if you see it and immediately leave you are as guilty as those actively participating. That's the part I have issue with.

 

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Mrs. Ringer could probably explain it better because she is..........hang on.....Oh, I almost threw up.......a cheerleading coach.

Way to work through the pain. ? ;D

 

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I'll always love the one where the kid posted it on Facebook and tried over writing a bud can and spelled PEPI instead of Pepsi on the can

 

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[quote author=katjoebenmom link=1210036123/0#10 date=1210077999]
Agree, but the way some of these policies are written even if you see it and immediately leave you are as guilty as those actively participating. ?That's the part I have issue with.

And I absolutely agree with your point---you have to give kids the chance to show they have the good sense to leave a potentially hazardous situation on their own initiative.

You can't penalize a teen for not being psychic. ?She can't know there is alcohol on the premises until she gets there. ?

What we can take pride in is if she has the judgement to leave when she does see that it is present.

And the biggie for me is---who are these parents that allow/encourage alcohol at teen parties???

I know I'm a big stick in the mud, but I don't feel comfortable allowing my highschool age dd to attend parties/events where there is no adult supervision. ?

I'm not saying she needs a constant chaperone, but she's not going to private house parties where there is no parent at home, period.

 

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I don't agree with the guilty by association. That is unfair to the kids who are following the rules. If you raise your kids with strong beliefs against (or just plain fear) drinking/smoking underage then you should be fine. I would prefer that when my daughter gets to HS that she be a responsible person and make sure that no one drives home if they have had something to drink. My parents put the fear of god in me (that and my dad was/is a pretty heavy drinker and I didn't want to become him) and I was at all the parties with alcohol. Did I drink no, not until I was 18 and I moved out of my parents house. Did I drive many friends home who had a few, yes. Would they be here if I had not been a responsible friend probably not.