Handling crying

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I guess I agree with some and disagree with some, but let me start by sauing that I manage a 10U team that is almost entirely 9's. This is their first year of travel and what I have is what the parents have raised. Some are Criers and some aren't. I also coach H.S. football and Baseball and obviously there is NO criers there, except after a tough loss in a big game. I don't think that we as coaches can have a cookie cutter approach to any "team" that we coach. Boy/Girl, young/older...Every kid/player is different. Some players we can kick in the rear and tell them the have to be better, some need an arm around the shoulder, tell them that they are good, but could be much better if they gave a little more effort. I guess in my mind, I coach every kid differently. I am a little tougher on my kids and my oldest is somewhat tough between the ears, but my 9 y.o. is a very emotional kid. Just the other night at practice she was pitching and was struggling. I was supportive but still a little stern letting her know she had to do a little better. I could see that she was starting to cry, so I went to her and told her that struggling on the mound was no reason to cry and that she had it in her. she just had to work a little harder to find it that night. She stopped crying and did just that. She got better and finished out pretty well. The bottom line is that at least at the younger levels, kids cry. It's an emotion. Handle it accordingly to the individual.

 

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In all the years of my coaching my players were told that there are only three events that crying is allowed on the field or in the dugout.....an injury, winning a championship, and losing a championship. All other reasons show weakness to your opponent and to your team mates. If I caught a girl crying she was asked to leave the field or the dugout. My players and their parents respected me for this approach, and my entire final roster of players at the 18U level all went on to played some level of college softball.

There is no room for crying in softball......period!

P.S. I started this at the 14U age group

 

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Bout crying, they can't go back to mamby pamby land if they want to cry!

Ya jackwagon! Tissue? Crybaby...


:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

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That's my kind of psychiatrist!!

 

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wow... i guess i am glad my dd's coach had a little compassion.... I think every player has a different tolerance, they are human after all. Especially at the younger age. I think she was starting to tear up because she felt like she was letting her team down. But most of the posts indicate that is not acceptable either. Oh well. Life goes on.

 

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As a mom, I have enjoyed reading the coachs' responses on crying. My dd decided at age 9 to be a pitcher, she's now 14. I promised to support her and push her in all ways necessary to help her be successful. Her first travel coach at 12U prohibited kids from leaving the dugout and banned parents from entering so DD and I created a tackle box of supplies for her and the girls; DD became the bench "mom" and first-aider. The strength derived from that summer stays with her today.
Fortunately she isn't the type to cry over everything but we have had a few discussions through the dugout fence; my encouraging words sound something like this: "you need to vomit because of the heat? use that trash can and chug some water then get your butt back on the rubber, your team needs you."
Regarding tears, she has never cried while on the field but one game the first season tears did appear in the dug out between games; I can't blame her, she was the last one of the team to cave and I was totally supportive of them all. The situation: Zanesville Jamboree, hot sunny day, come from behind 6 games of play leading to a second place finish in the championship game---the tears showed up after game 6, all the girls tired, dirty, and almost all with injuries of some type.
Gotta admire their grit and determination to see the day through.

 

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wow... i guess i am glad my dd's coach had a little compassion.... I think every player has a different tolerance, they are human after all. Especially at the younger age. I think she was starting to tear up because she felt like she was letting her team down. But most of the posts indicate that is not acceptable either. Oh well. Life goes on.

A few tears are different than crying ,in my book

 

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I have never seen a player cry and do well or play at their highest level , to much emotion and performance suffers which leads to more frustration from lack of focus , hard to catch a line drive with tears your eyes so safty becomes a concern , not pulling a player at that point would be doing more harm than good imho.

 

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Its all age relative......... crying is almost expected at 10,s and 12,s at some point as they are learning to deal with their changing bodies and rush of hormones .......... as you get to older ages the tears should dry up....... normally at 16 and 18 the only ones you hear of crying are the coaches lol

 

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I guess I agree with some and disagree with some, but let me start by sauing that I manage a 10U team that is almost entirely 9's. This is their first year of travel and what I have is what the parents have raised. Some are Criers and some aren't. I also coach H.S. football and Baseball and obviously there is NO criers there, except after a tough loss in a big game. I don't think that we as coaches can have a cookie cutter approach to any "team" that we coach. Boy/Girl, young/older...Every kid/player is different. Some players we can kick in the rear and tell them the have to be better, some need an arm around the shoulder, tell them that they are good, but could be much better if they gave a little more effort. I guess in my mind, I coach every kid differently. I am a little tougher on my kids and my oldest is somewhat tough between the ears, but my 9 y.o. is a very emotional kid. Just the other night at practice she was pitching and was struggling. I was supportive but still a little stern letting her know she had to do a little better. I could see that she was starting to cry, so I went to her and told her that struggling on the mound was no reason to cry and that she had it in her. she just had to work a little harder to find it that night. She stopped crying and did just that. She got better and finished out pretty well. The bottom line is that at least at the younger levels, kids cry. It's an emotion. Handle it accordingly to the individual.

Got to agree with 25 here. Girls, especially at the younger age groups, tend to get more emotional. At these ages, this is an integral part of coaching, not only to teach these girls softball fundamentals but get to know them and be there to make them tougher mentally. Each case has to be handled on an individual basis, and knowing your player is important. Some players respond to a stern approach while others require a different approach. It will take time for each player to mature and I feel it's our job to make them a better player physically, mentally, and emotionally. I also agree with other posts that as we coach the older age groups, then crying may only be acceptable with injury or championship win/loss.

 

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A few tears are different than crying ,in my book

True.

 

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Girls on my team do not cry cuz of a bad play or strike out and I have instilled? that in them. One of the best tools in any sport is "short term memory". If they have a mental break down becasue the stuck out I wouldn't put them out on the field until they regroup their thought becasue it will effect them when they get out on the field. As a opposing coach I just love it when a pitcher start her emotions on the mound; it wears on her and definitly effects her pitching game. I have also learned from attending several colleges clinics and listening to the colleges coaches is that they would take the player off their list if the player was an emotonal wreck after a bad play.

As far as the end of the year (season is over), we all cry like babies. Took us about 1 1/2 hours at the end our last game to say good bye. Knowing we were going to see each other in about three weeks!!

If players are going to come in crying it will effect the entire team and will not keep them focused on what they need to be focused on; the game itself. DD was on a team a couple years ago it was like a flippin soap opera in the dugout when someone struck out; you'd thought their dog died or something.