how do you deal?

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Curious on opinions on this one? We (Ohio power black) played a game this morning against The Renegades. The girls on the team were very polite, and very good ball players. The (some) parents were another thing all together. There were actually a few of the parents on the third base line taunting our players? Actually taunting a 13 yr old girl... really? To the point that one of the dads said to one of our girls (I was in ear shot) "Looks like your free rides over, hahHaha) ?They were beating us and ended up beating us in the game. Just curious how anyone else would handle this? We let the rednecks act like complete asses and went on our way. Not all the parents were like that. The ones that were hillbilly, redneck, pieces of white trash were also smoking next to the field.

 

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I have said for a very long time that coaches need to focus on their players and what happens on the field.

You are never going to come out looking good if you start a verbal debate with fans.....especially for the other team.

If it becomes unsavory I would talk to the head ump and get the TD or UIC over to the field. It is not the coaches place to "fix" a-holes.

I have even went and asked the UIC to come watch our own fans. Seriously, parents are idiots. What is comical is that they can only hurt their kids with this type of behavior. There is not 1 positive things that comes from it.

 

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I have said for a very long time that coaches need to focus on their players and what happens on the field.

You are never going to come out looking good if you start a verbal debate with fans.....especially for the other team.

If it becomes unsavory I would talk to the head ump and get the TD or UIC over to the field. It is not the coaches place to "fix" a-holes.

I have even went and asked the UIC to come watch our own fans. Seriously, parents are idiots. What is comical is that they can only hurt their kids with this type of behavior. There is not 1 positive things that comes from it.

Excellent advice! Look at this way... if YOU noticed the idiots, don't you think a lot of the other parents did also? I'll bet there were many decent parents on their team that were embarrassed by their actions. Many times they bolt for another team at the end of the season to get away from them. So the "problem" usually takes care of itself.

These types are usually unreasonable - and it's impossible to deal with unreasonable people. By getting into a confrontation (shouting match) you just might make yourself look like part of the problem. Avoid the idiots like the plague. The sad part is that it's their kids who suffer. Tell your team the saying about "sticks and stones", and they will develop a classy discipline that will make you proud.

 

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Well said. We didn't say anything to them. Even me, I kept my mouth shut (true statement).... I'd rather just watch the game and enjoy seeing my dd with her team. Thanks for the advice, I will take it with me to the next tourny.

 

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Maybe not at 13 but around that girls junior year in high school and she starts sending out schedules to college coaches....well...college coaches love to show up unannounced and watch from a distance. If they feel parents will be a huge pain, guess what, that girl is getting passed over......

 

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Excellent advice! Look at this way... if YOU noticed the idiots, don't you think a lot of the other parents did also? I'll bet there were many decent parents on their team that were embarrassed by their actions. Many times they bolt for another team at the end of the season to get away from them. So the "problem" usually takes care of itself.

These types are usually unreasonable - and it's impossible to deal with unreasonable people. By getting into a confrontation (shouting match) you just might make yourself look like part of the problem. Avoid the idiots like the plague. The sad part is that it's their kids who suffer. Tell your team the saying about "sticks and stones", and they will develop a classy discipline that will make you proud.

Grow thick skin and go on with your life. You can't tell a parent with years of experience at being an a-hole how to act just as it's not your place to tell a family how to raise their kids. They either get it or they don't. I like the above advice.

 

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This shows it only takes a couple of bad apples to make someone look bad. We played the same team earlier in pool play and lost 2-0 after the game the parents I talked to were really nice and complimentary of the girls and the team. The coach is a non parent and seems like areally nice guy I talked to him for a half hour between games.

 

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You can only focus on the things you are able to control.

 

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All good advice - but as a coach I will never, ever allow a parent from another team verbally abuse a player on my team. I will try to handle it through the umpires, then through the TDs. But if those high road angles don't work I can out redneck the best of them.

 

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Im with Rays you can say all you want to me but you cross the line when it comes to the kids on my team.

 

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DD used to hear everything when she pitched, one of the reasons she doesn't pitch anymore. Used to tell her she needs to block it out since you can't control out of control adults. Just as you can't listen to people telling you how good you are you can't listen to how bad you are.

Another reason she doesn't pitch is her drop, rise,curve and screwball doesn't. But that's a whole another topic.

 

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Try to be the bigger person when it comes to idiots but I agree with flarays also, once they start on the girls on the field it's time to do something about it.

 

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Being the bigger person is very tough to do sometimes, but is the best way to go.

Two seasons ago I ran into a parent on our team who yelled at my dd when she dropped a ball. His dd was pitching, her drop cost us two runs. She was in right field and she heard every word he said. He made mention that we needed to get someone who can catch the @#$@#$ ball. My wife who is always very passive looked at me and said," are going to let him get away with that" lol. I just got up and moved far away from him when I really wanted to clock him! I'm so glad I didnt! His dd apologized to my dd for what he said - very classy! Next inning dd hit a bases clearing double - which was very cool! emotions were running high that day. The day ended on a good note because I took the high road even when I really wanted to take the low road.

 

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Being the bigger person is very tough to do sometimes, but is the best way to go.

Two seasons ago I ran into a parent on our team who yelled at my dd when she dropped a ball. His dd was pitching, her drop cost us two runs. She was in right field and she heard every word he said. He made mention that we needed to get someone who can catch the @#$@#$ ball. My wife who is always very passive looked at me and said," are going to let him get away with that" lol. I just got up and moved far away from him when I really wanted to clock him! I'm so glad I didnt! His dd apologized to my dd for what he said - very classy! Next inning dd hit a bases clearing double - which was very cool! emotions were running high that day. The day ended on a good note because I took the high road even when I really wanted to take the low road.

You sir are a better man then I am...

 

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This thread has evolved some from the original post, but a good discussion I think. It's almost inconceivable to me sometimes that people act like this, yet I have seen it happen way too many times, including by some people who I was associated with and sitting near. How can one get so engrossed in the competition and/or the support of their own DD that they say out loud derogatory things about or even worse yet to their teammates or opponents, who are just kids themselves? Do they not see any difference between watching a youth game and watching a professional game? 98% of the parents are just fine, but the other 2% can just make it a miserable experience for everyone. I personally have found this harder to put up with as a coach, then as a parent. As a parent, I knew that my DD could usually block it out or otherwise handle it, but as a coach, I feel a responsibility to defend my kids who might be scarred by it. It's this kind of behavior, combined with some of the other grief from parents that coaches get these days, that make me think twice about coaching again. And it's definitely worse these days than it used to be ...

 

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I haven't had a parent yell anything directly at my DD yet. I've seen a lot of parents and a few coaches that say and act in a way that is no role model for the fine young ladies playing the game. I always talk to my DD about it after games on the ride home and stress that the world is full of people like this and softball isn't the only place you'll run into it, and I also stress that we will always treat everyone with respect and kindness. Part of me wishes I could shelter her from all of this, but another part of me is glad I we go through it to help learn to just do what is right, treat others with kindness, and be a glimmer of light to others.

 

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If I was the coach would get an umpire to take care of it and if not I would be polite and calm and take care of it myself because the girls don't need that kind of non sense. Some good advice up above.

 

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These people will be the one that cannot figure out wy college coaches never come watch their team when they get old enough to be recruited. We make sure our arents understand that coeches will just keep on walking to the next field, there are too many good players out there. They do not even want to think about recruiting one of those kids and more importantly will not stay and watch the other girls on the team.

 

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DD used to hear everything when she pitched, one of the reasons she doesn't pitch anymore. Used to tell her she needs to block it out since you can't control out of control adults. Just as you can't listen to people telling you how good you are you can't listen to how bad you are.

Another reason she doesn't pitch is her drop, rise,curve and screwball doesn't. But that's a whole another topic.

Lol.... that's freaking hilarious!:lmao:

 

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This thread has evolved some from the original post, but a good discussion I think. It's almost inconceivable to me sometimes that people act like this, yet I have seen it happen way too many times, including by some people who I was associated with and sitting near. How can one get so engrossed in the competition and/or the support of their own DD that they say out loud derogatory things about or even worse yet to their teammates or opponents, who are just kids themselves? Do they not see any difference between watching a youth game and watching a professional game? 98% of the parents are just fine, but the other 2% can just make it a miserable experience for everyone. I personally have found this harder to put up with as a coach, then as a parent. As a parent, I knew that my DD could usually block it out or otherwise handle it, but as a coach, I feel a responsibility to defend my kids who might be scarred by it. It's this kind of behavior, combined with some of the other grief from parents that coaches get these days, that make me think twice about coaching again. And it's definitely worse these days than it used to be ...

Well put. My dd coach didn't (and I believe still doesn't) know about the parents being that way. The girl didn't wanna go "running to tattle" as she put it. If he would have known he definitely would have stood up for her. He has a big heart for the girls. Maybe I should have spoke up......but usually that ends up in an ugly argument because I have a tendancy to keep pushing buttons when i should shut up. I know ..... hard to believe right??????????;&