Parents for next season

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As a coach, how much do you take into consideration a player's parents when considering whether or not to ask them back for the next season?

For instance, say you have a weaker player who is a good kid and has great parents. They are always willing to help out with practice, fundraisers, team meals, and they are always supportive of the entire team and not just their own daughter.

Or Maybe you have an absolute stud who is also a good kid, but her parent's are a pain in the neck and their only involvement with the team is dropping their daughter off at practice (usually late) and bringing her to and from the games.

When considering whether or not to invite these players back for next year how much do you value the parents?

 

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Parents are huge part of the team. The parents are as important to the team off the field, as the girls are to playing on the field. Teams do not need CANCERS ON THE FIELD or OFF THE FIELD..

 

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Parents attitudes are just as important as the players attitude. If the parents are nutty, I wouldn't touch the kid with a 10 foot pole no matter how good she is. Bad parents make for a miserable season.

 

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Parents attitudes are just as important as the players attitude. If the parents are nutty, I wouldn't touch the kid with a 10 foot pole no matter how good she is. Bad parents make for a miserable season.

OMG Julie! You could have shared this wisdom LAST year!!!!!!!!!!!:lmao:

 

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Wouldn't it be nice to have some kind of radar for nutty parents? I would make Millions!!!

 

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Ironically, parents and their attitudes become even more important at the older ages, at least in terms of their conduct at the games. College coaches are attuned to the interaction between the parents and their player, as well as to their interaction with the team coaches and the umpires. I have heard Division 1 coaches say explicitly that they have passed up recruits because of the conduct of the parents when the Division 1 coach was watching games.

I also think that at least beginning with 16u, parents should not be intervening to communicate with TB coaches about perceived problems. The players need to discuss those matters directly with the TB coaches. Old enough to drive, old enough to work through issues directly with the coaches. If the TB coach is erratic or otherwise observably unstable, that's another story. But absent such a situation, the players should choose an appropriate time to discuss the issue and parents should not be intermediaries. JMHO.

 

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I always have my wife talking with and evaluating the parents during tryouts to see how they are acting and reacting to what is happening on the field. Passed up a few girls that had crazy parents.

 

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Parents are huge part of the team. The parents are as important to the team off the field, as the girls are to playing on the field. Teams do not need CANCERS ON THE FIELD or OFF THE FIELD..

AMEN to that statement!

 

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Psycho parents breed psycho children. Coaches beware and pay close attention, it is a radar to how those kids will act when times get tough.

 

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I think You answered your own question, but just wanted justification of it... Good Luck with it...

 

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Ironically, parents and their attitudes become even more important at the older ages, at least in terms of their conduct at the games. College coaches are attuned to the interaction between the parents and their player, as well as to their interaction with the team coaches and the umpires. I have heard Division 1 coaches say explicitly that they have passed up recruits because of the conduct of the parents when the Division 1 coach was watching games.

I also think that at least beginning with 16u, parents should not be intervening to communicate with TB coaches about perceived problems. The players need to discuss those matters directly with the TB coaches. Old enough to drive, old enough to work through issues directly with the coaches. If the TB coach is erratic or otherwise observably unstable, that's another story. But absent such a situation, the players should choose an appropriate time to discuss the issue and parents should not be intermediaries. JMHO.

Great words of wisdom. Still funny how coaches still take the chance each year with the team jumping family believing they will be the one's to turn that team jumping family around. I'm sure that players looking for mom or dad in the stands after tough calls or bad plays has to be a red flag for college coaches.

 

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Ironically, parents and their attitudes become even more important at the older ages, at least in terms of their conduct at the games. College coaches are attuned to the interaction between the parents and their player, as well as to their interaction with the team coaches and the umpires. I have heard Division 1 coaches say explicitly that they have passed up recruits because of the conduct of the parents when the Division 1 coach was watching games.

I also think that at least beginning with 16u, parents should not be intervening to communicate with TB coaches about perceived problems. The players need to discuss those matters directly with the TB coaches. Old enough to drive, old enough to work through issues directly with the coaches. If the TB coach is erratic or otherwise observably unstable, that's another story. But absent such a situation, the players should choose an appropriate time to discuss the issue and parents should not be intermediaries. JMHO.

Amen!

 

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cgs makes some very good points on this subject and I agree wholeheartedly. Remember, a team that gets along, this includes parents, will be easier to gel and the result will be a team that you can teach. Assess that family for the entire worth and not just what they player can do for you with 3 trips to the plate each game.

I'll let you in on something I always consider before cutting ties with a family as you described. There are times in life when bad help is still better than no help. If you get rid of good help, I don't see anything positive out of this move. The player must have "something" because you have her on the team now. Consider the package and possibly put more effort into that player.

We can't tell parents how to raise their families. Unless there's abuse present, everyone can have an opinion. That said I agree with the statement that crazy parents end up with crazy kids. lol.

 

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@daboss:

Yes, I stopped short of saying that poor parent conduct would lead me to cut the player (if I had that option, which I don't as an Assistant Coach), because so many factors would go into that decision. Not the least of which might be that there were only one or two incidents regarding the parents. Occasional lapses in judgement wouldn't be cause for cutting a player.

 

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Buckeye Heat, great words of wisdom and thank you for the heads up on the Div 1 coaches passing, I have also heard they do not look at players who wear the face masks in the field thinking they area afraid of the ball.

As far as parents go, we feel our entire team is a family, so yes parents are very important and we do send our returning parents out to the parents of the players trying out to see if that is a fit as well.

I also agree that the players should be the ones to communicate with the coaches, we start that at 14U.

Thanks for the great comments guys!

 

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As you are considering a player with a problem parent keep in mind you may lose other players. I know at one point we made a decision to play for a team with a parent I knew wasn't always realistic. I was thinking that it would be ok the parent isn't playing. The kid's a good sweet kid. So I thought we could just go and it would be fine. It was a very uncomfortable season starting early on. And in the end we did not return to that team for the next season.

 

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I can say from experience, that poisonous parents will rot the whole team from the inside out. They don't think about the fact that their kids hear what they say and that it colors their view of their coaches and teammates. And it also contributes to their children feeling "entitled". Try to "try out" the parents as much as you can before inviting their children on the team. And even that is unreliable as everyone tries to be on their best behavior. It's a long year to be spending it with cancerous parents/players.

 

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@crystlemc:

You are exactly right that it is very hard to get "data" on the parents at a tryout. But it still amazes me how many parents engage in conduct at tryouts that pretty much dooms the player's prospects.

Not sure why (there hasn't been any precipitating event), but lately I've been thinking a lot about whether a "try-out resume" should be required at least one week before the actual physical tryout. Although there would be definite issues created by this approach (for instance, who would be the required reference if the player has chosen to try out for the organization's team(s) while still retaining an option to remain with her 2011 team), getting info from prior coaches about the dynamics of the family would be a big plus. And apart from the family dynamics issue, it would be nice to have a full description of high school and TB experience.

 

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... Or Maybe you have an absolute stud who is also a good kid, but her parent's are a pain in the neck and their only involvement with the team is dropping their daughter off at practice (usually late) and bringing her to and from the games. ...

What are the parents doing that makes them a pain in the neck? Is it just they're not involved with the team? If so, sounds like what some coaches have posted as their dream - a stud player that's an orphan. ;&

 

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Buckeye Heat, great words of wisdom and thank you for the heads up on the Div 1 coaches passing, I have also heard they do not look at players who wear the face masks in the field thinking they area afraid of the ball.

Why would they think that. Do they think all the girls are afraid of the ball when hitting because they have masks on their helmets...........Oh wait, its a rule now so they dont get a choice;&;&