Parents for next season

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@finch:

As I think I indicated in my posts, not all college coaches view face masks as a disqualifying factor. And even those who frown on the masks will probably make an exception for a recruit who is far more talented than the average member of the college pool. So it's not a surprise that your DD has attracted college attention. But I think it would be wrong to suggest that there are not college coaches out there who pass on some recruits because of the face mask issue.

 

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Really? Have you never had parents who harass the umpire to the point that you start losing calls? Do you not care about how the fans act when there is a college coach at the game who might be interested in recruiting one or more of your players? It sounds as though you have had really great parents and fans. We have had for the most part great parents and fans as well, but we've had enough incidents that I truthfully could not say that parent conduct is irrelevant. How would you feel, for example, if a parent called a meeting of other parents (without informing the coaches) to try to persuade the parents not to attend USA/ASA nationals after the team had qualified and had accepted the berth? Or parents who try to create team discord by challenging (to other parents) the coaching decisions regarding the line-up? Or parents who see nothing wrong in pulling their DD in the middle of a tournament because of playing time?

This stuff happens; I am glad that you haven't had it happen to you.

Oh this stuff has happened to me. But, I will always chose a roster over girls and not their parents. When I have had problems and they didn't want to follow the team rules, I just gave them the option to leave now or quietly finish out the season. I have had it picked both ways.

I have only had really one or two bad issues. It was corrected and the majority of the parents respected the coaching staff after the intervention and they began policing themselves. If you are constantly having these problems then it's time to look at the coaching staff. Are you having a team/parent meeting? Do you do socials to help all the parents get to know each other (if you are having new players every year)? This is a sport for the girls so the coach is there for the girls not the parents-if you want to leave-bye then your DD is replacable. No girl is that good that your team should implode because one girl left. I have also seen girls yell at their own parents to be quiet. If a parent is bad mouthing an ump-I just talk to them. Remind them that it can't happen again or this tourney is over for the family. It's how you appraoch the talk. Most coaches are too scared of parents and I don't get that.

Times may have changed as I am not a coach now, but I chose my DD's team because of the "no **** out of parent's mouth" policy. You can have a policy, but you have to have the guts to stick to it. Maybe I was lucky. I will just count my blessings and be thankful. :yahoo::yahoo::yahoo: JMHO don't want to upset anyone. Just wanted to speak about my experiences.

 

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After the past year, I'm of the mind set we ditch the tryouts for the girls and have tryouts for the parents. There is nothing more destructive to a team than a cancerous parent. Cancer attacks the host usually without knowledge and once it's roots have firmly taken hold it spreads, creates dissention, challenges all decisions, and attacks character. Cancer not only affects the host but all those associated with the host. Cancer will stop at nothing to obtain it's ultimate desires and motives.
SO I propose tryouts for the parents. Girls can be developed and taught. Parents cannot!

 

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@initfor51:

Upon reading your fuller explanation of your policy of choosing the player despite the parent, I think you and I are pretty much on the same page. The original post asked whether the coach should decide not to extend an invitation to remain on a team for the next season. I was offering my opinion that consideration of parent conduct during the existing season was a legitimate factor when making the decision whether to keep the player. What you have said indicates that you have culled out the problem during the existing season and that sometimes it means telling parents that if their conduct doesn't change, the player will have to leave during the existing season.

I agree with you that the coaches need to set clear rules of conduct, and when there are problems they should approach the parent, calmly describe the conduct that is creating the problem, and set forth the standards for correcting the problem. (I've failed at times when it comes to the calmness factor; my personal goals for improvement are to wait until I am calm to speak to anyone or to ask my uber calm head coach to handle the conversation). And as I've said, a lapse in judgement that is corrected in subsequent games/time periods is most likely not going to be a rationale for refusing to extend an offer the following season.

 

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I agree while the girls are trying out on the field, have one of the coaches or parents you already know give the new parents a tryout of thier own.