To pierce or not to pierce. That is the question.

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Don't be our parents. Let her have it. What the harm, really? Not like she wants a nose ring and a bunch rings on her lips. For a good kid and I am with your thought "It's not drugs, secks or alcohol. It seem benign enough to give her a little freedom and I can lay the hammer down on the real big issues."

My DD has the green light on a nose piercing or additional ear piercings or even a tattoo in an easily hidden spot but since she got the green light the subject hasn't come up again. They just want their boundaries to expand every now and then.

I agree, Musty. Pick your battles. Love hearing about the healing part as if she decides to not have it anymore... it will heal. I didn't know for sure... glad someone chimed in on it. I think that information helps in the decision process under " What if?" category.

Boundaries searching is not over as a teen. As adults.. everyone continues to see where that boundary is.

 

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My DD is 13 yrs. old....she asked for her birthday to get her belly button pierced. She was told what was expected, about having to take care of it and what can happen if you don't. She was given the choice of her belly button or the cartlige in the top of her ear, of course she chose the belly button. She has been very responsible with taking care of it and making sure it does not get infected which can be pretty painful. I think like others have said...pick your battles, for me it has raised her level of being responsible because Mom is not going to clean it and make sure it doesnt get infected. My oldest DD wanted the tattoo........I told her NO WAY, I will not pay for it. When you are old enough to pay for your own you can get it.....hers does have special meaning-it is a Angel which will have the date at some time added of the death of her Grandmother. I think the goal setting idea is great also...if they meet the goal then the get the piercing. Good luck with your decision.......I would also advise check out the place you take her very well. We go to a place that does not use a gun (we have been told these are very harmful in the long run- a piercing needle is the best way to go, takes out the extra skin and does not cause a bump or build up of whatever anywhere).

 

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I am in the same position as Ringer. My dd wants one for her 15th birthday and keeps saying you have one so it can't be something you are against so why can't I have one." My response is I am 37 years old, you are 14. I think she should wait until she is 18 and then she can decorate her body how she sees fit. I have a few tattoos and piercings and my parents made me wait until I was 18 and I am glad they did. I got a few things done when I first turned 18 that I would change if I could and it was because I was a stupid, know-it-all kid who wasn't thinking about anything but what was going on right then. Man I just sounded like my Mom, that was pretty scary. Maybe I will let her get it after all!!!

 

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I am in the same position as Ringer. My dd wants one for her 15th birthday and keeps saying you have one so it can't be something you are against so why can't I have one." My response is I am 37 years old, you are 14. I think she should wait until she is 18 and then she can decorate her body how she sees fit. I have a few tattoos and piercings and my parents made me wait until I was 18 and I am glad they did. I got a few things done when I first turned 18 that I would change if I could and it was because I was a stupid, know-it-all kid who wasn't thinking about anything but what was going on right then. Man I just sounded like my Mom, that was pretty scary. Maybe I will let her get it after all!!!

klump is right - even when they do wait till 18 they can make choices they wish they hadn't, so till 18 you can talk to them about the permanence of them and the fact like it or not alot of companies will not hire you with some piercings and tats and infection can honestly be a serious issue- my 25 yr old dd got her belly button pierced when she was 20-pd alot of money then had to pay alot to the dr. because of the infection that set in then ended up having to let it grow shut after 2yrs of the battle p.s. she did everything right in the first place as far as caring for a new piercing.

 

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klump is right - even when they do wait till 18 they can make choices they wish they hadn't, so till 18 you can talk to them about the permanence of them and the fact like it or not alot of companies will not hire you with some piercings and tats and infection can honestly be a serious issue- my 25 yr old dd got her belly button pierced when she was 20-pd alot of money then had to pay alot to the dr. because of the infection that set in then ended up having to let it grow shut after 2yrs of the battle p.s. she did everything right in the first place as far as caring for a new piercing.

My 2 sisters and I all have our belly buttons done. My older sister and mine did fine, but my little sister's was a mess. She was infected from the day 1 until she just gave up and took it out. She did everything right just like us, it just wouldn't heal. Some people's skin type is just not meant for it.

 

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If you are ok with the look but not the piercing then allow her to use a magnetic one. If she doesn't want that then part of the attraction is the fact she is getting a piercing. You can ask "It looks the same, why do you need it pierced?". That is of course an old person's question and she will give you a young person's response.

 

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Our saving Grace for these things is heart murmurs....If that's a saving Grace.. Doctor says no earings other than earlobes and no tattoos for the bacteria that gets into the bloodstream.....

As for the looks of it, what type of career do they want to go in? That should help their decision process. First Impressions are the lasting ones, you only get one shot at a first impression.

Bryan Setzer of the Stray Cats once said, "never get a tattoo on the hands as that is one thing you can't cover up in front of a Judge..."

 

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If Mrs. Ringer doesn't agree, then I say no...the worst thing parents do is dividing themselves and not presenting a "united front" when it comes to decisions about their children. If Mrs. Ringer changes her mind and says yes, then let your DD have it.

My thoughts are if she's a good kid who doesn't really give you headaches and the worst thing she ever does is get a nose ring, then you're doing great!!

From a personal standpoint, my DD wanted her ear cartilage pierced - she asked me consistently from 14-16 years old. I figured after 3 years, it was okay because it was something she hadn't given up on and it didn't seem to be just her wanting to participate in a fad.

 

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If you are ok with the look but not the piercing then allow her to use a magnetic one. If she doesn't want that then part of the attraction is the fact she is getting a piercing. You can ask "It looks the same, why do you need it pierced?". That is of course an old person's question and she will give you a young person's response.

Or go with the " wear the magnetic ones for two weeks and see how you like the feel and look of it ... BEFORE we think about it some more".

Now, there is an option, WM !!! Never really thought of that option.. and being a good option first to see if they even like it themselves.

 

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I am a mom and see no real harm. It will heal if she no longer wants it. My bil had his tongue pieced and that was a huge hole and it healed up just fine too. Mine wants her cartlidge on her ear pierced and I see no reason not to let her. I told her she had to wait until August after softball is done so we dont have to deal with it healing during tourneys.

 

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Or go with the " wear the magnetic ones for two weeks and see how you like the feel and look of it ... BEFORE we think about it some more".

Now, there is an option, WM !!! Never really thought of that option.. and being a good option first to see if they even like it themselves.

I think this is the first perceived value that I have brought to this forum. I'm going to print this out and laminate it.

 

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Sigh, I am just old. I don't "get it", never will get it and never want to try to get it. Absolutely no way, no how, period, end of discussion. That rule extends in my house beyond 18 if they want cash for college. Same with tattoos. Same with any of the boys wanting anything pierced. It's been cast in stone here as long as they have been old enough to understand English.

Pick your battles works both ways. Kid, do you really want to battle ME on this? I didn't think so.

I think it's perfectly fine and right for parents to have some taboos, even if they are unreasonable in some people's minds. (most will be unreasonable in the kid's mind anyway) Sounds like the Mrs. has a taboo about it, do you really want to fight THAT battle? I didn't think so! Back Mama up on this, the kid will get over it. You can even make it easy on yourself, tell her Mom says no and I defer to her on this.

 

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I will agree with ExxWhy in that I have rules and I don't have to pick my battles because it isn't a battle. There are fringe things I'll bend on but the hot topics I'll surely hear their side but I'll make a decision because it's what I feel is right. And by *I* I mean *we* as in my wife and I.

 

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Piercings and tattoos make a statement about your judgment on life's more serious topics. Same for lime green spiked hair. It all depends on whether your goal is to be a rock star or an investment banker, and how you think the interview will go...

 

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Daughter has asked twice about the bellyring. All her 8th grade friends are doing it (as she claims) so I told her this............... ' sure you can, if you let me do the piercing'. Needless to say she wont go down that road, LOL!


Problem solved!

 

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to shatter all preconceptions about the Manitou family my wife had her belly button peirced until she turned 40 a couple years ago. And I even wear striped shirts occasionally ---- MD

 

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I am a mom and see no real harm. It will heal if she no longer wants it. My bil had his tongue pieced and that was a huge hole and it healed up just fine too. Mine wants her cartlidge on her ear pierced and I see no reason not to let her. I told her she had to wait until August after softball is done so we dont have to deal with it healing during tourneys.

a friend of our oldest had his tongue pierced and he found out the hard way that he must grind his teeth in his sleep-he broke 4 teeth off ......the hole in his tongue healed fine all of his teeth needed capped to blend in with the new ones.....3500.00 dollars

 

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Daughter has asked twice about the bellyring. All her 8th grade friends are doing it (as she claims) so I told her this............... ' sure you can, if you let me do the piercing'. Needless to say she wont go down that road, LOL!


Problem solved!

:lmao: I've got some gutter spikes about 6 inches long i can send you if needed.

 

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I'm not a fan of the nose piercings, looks like something needs to be washed off.
Now bellyrings I think are cute.

 

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Piercings and tattoos make a statement about your judgment on life's more serious topics. Same for lime green spiked hair. It all depends on whether your goal is to be a rock star or an investment banker, and how you think the interview will go...

Aren't all investment bankers just Rock Stars who didn't make it. Plus tell me what kid is growing up saying, "I want be an investment banker or regional sales rep." We are all Rock stars until we graduate....or.....we have a mid-life crisis ;&