What do i do.?

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I have been blessed to have 2 grown kids and 2 at 15 and 11.......get to correct some of my decisions from the first go around so to speak.......at 16 my son decided he was burnt out on sports and needed a break.......I always said it would be his decision.......well he went from being burned out to being a burnout....took me a long time to get him back on the right track....he is now 30 and doing ok......can't tell you how many times he has said I just wish I would have stuck with it......now on the occassions where my 15 year old says she wants a break from basketball.....never has said softball yet, I tell her thats fine but it will not be the social hour.......another activity........a job, extra chores, music, drama...or whatever is required as a time occupier.....she always comes back to okay Dad I'll stick with the program and she is always happy she did......the comments of outside influences hit the nail right on the head in my opinion......new friends not into sports....perhaps a boyfriend......preoccupied with now being able to drive.....could be any number of things really.
 
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In today's society, softball competes with a lot of other things that life has to offer whether be boys, friends, internet, video games, other sports, etc.

This is bound to happen more and more - especially when softball is becoming more of a sacrifice for them (skipping parties, not spending as much time with her friends, etc.).

Sometimes, they just lose interest. To truly understand the motivations behind such a decision, you have to understand why someone plays in the first place.

What is... for the thrill of competition, for the sense of accomplishment she got out competing, the social aspect, etc... there are many reasons why we play ball.
 
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I agree with Vipers. If they don't want to play o.k. I think it's very important to keep them involved with something. Too much down time can be a bad thing.Travel ball has more benefits than just playing the game. It can keep them from finding trouble as they get older.
 
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going through the same thing she said she had enough and that was that oh well cant force them to do it
 
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****These thoughts and views on this post are coming from Mrs.Hillbilly not Mr.LEH himself****

OH my goodness.. I see stuff like it's because of friends and boyfriends and social life and it makes me want to scream "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT" Don't you want you kids to have a life?!?!?!?!?!?!
Softball is good when it is fun for them but I fear alot of parents, I would say father more then mother gets WAY TO into it.. and then they get upset when the girls have had enough.. Goodness they have pitching and hitting and games and stuff all year long and then they give up there whole summer(wait i know it's not the whole summer just the weekends) but what person in there right mind wants to do that same thing weekend after weekend after weekend, year after year after year.. There is life out there outside of softball.
I enjoy watching my daughter play and she enjoys playing.. but she also enjoys spending weekends on the lake boating and sking, and camping and God forbid hanging out with her friends. I'm not saying let them sit around the house doing nothing watching TV or playing video games 24/7 and i"m not saying let them run around wild either.. but balance is the key... Think of how much time they put into this sport. They are just kids they need down time.. When do they get that down time??? that time to just sit in there rooms and read a book or write a letter.. With school, homework, school sports, Sunday School, church and youth group.. and my DD not only does the travel softball but also travel volleyball and then besides the school sports she is on the school acidemic challege team.. If she comes to me one day and say she wants to drop one of these travel sports that take up so much of her time I'm going to jump for joy. That she can have a normal life like a normal kid. Where she comes home from school maybe just one night a week where she doesn't have to run back out for 3 other activites.. a night where maybe she could just sit at the computer chatting it up with friends or a friday night where she can have a friend spend the night without waking her at the crack of dawn and rushing her out to the ball feild.

Ok I should stop or the Hillbilly is going to take away that Mrs. part of my name LOL..

I say let the girl have a life, if she is over softball or just needs a summer off, get over it and go find a life of your own and enjoy your summer.
 
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^^^^^^^^^

As I dont share some of the same views as the little lady, I told her she will be open to all favorable and nonfavorable views she might recieve. Another words I personally will stay clear of this and she can handle her own!
 
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Maybe the parents need to sit down and think about all these hitting, pitching, etc. lessons every parent seems to think their daughter needs. It can prove to be overload. I know some organizations, or at least some parents, do not approve of their daughter playing school ball at all. And they also insist that their daughter focuses on one sport, sometimes as early as age 10. Are you kidding me? I encourage my daughter, and her teammates, to play more than one sport. It adds balance to their life. And speaking for dads out there, sports were my life growing up. I would have much rather been playing baseball, football, or basketball instead of ever spending time doing anything else. However, I didn't have a playstation, a cell phone, a computer, or a TV in my room. Remember when we only had 3 channels, and you were the remote control? Guess what, I paid for college with three partial scholarships (baseball, football, and academic). I never had a single lesson in my life. As parents, we need to find the balance our children need. Good luck, and your daughter may find out she loves to play softball, and will miss the competition that travel provides.
 
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If she wants to take the summer off, then there is little you can do, except..

Challenge her to "give back" what she has learned about hard work, receiving instructions, cooperation and helping others.

Ask her to donate 2 or 3 days a week to one or two of the following:

1. Be a "Big Sister"
2. Help coach a rec team
3. Volunteer at a Senior Center
4. Tutor a special needs child
5. Volunteer for the Special Olympics

It is ok to go to the pool several days of the week or to do things with friends, but that should not be all. It is time to understand that everyone has a responsibility in society and the age of 14 is a good time to start.

This is NOT an attempt to get her to change her mind, but it is a good time to explain that life is not all leisure. Not now and definately not later in life. It is a good lesson to learn.
 
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I don't dread the decision to not play, but how to keep her in our lives. Dads, make every attempt to make time for her once softball is over. Movies, Auto Show, Dining... There aren't many years left before she is on her own. Make the time to do other stuff with her. Like said earlier, there is a whole life out their , and many more things we can do with them then softball.
 
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Not sure if this has been said yet or not, but it appears you are going to miss it more than she will. When that time comes, you know it's time to help her find something that you can have commonality with her in, and then embrace it. You can't WANT her to WANT to play just because you WANT it more than her. And don't take this the wrong way, as I'm sure WE ALL feel that way at some point.. that we want fastpitch success for our girl more than they do.
 
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I may be way out of line and if so my apologies but, it sounds like mom is done with softball and perhaps has been talking with your DD about not playing.
 
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i think you let her decide making decisions is alot like batting it takes practice.if you never swing your bat you are less likely to hit in game.if you dont let her make decisions she will never get good at it.besides do you do travel for her or you.i know there is arguments both ways but maybe she will take a year off and realize how much she misses it.
 
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Well, I must say I empathize. I am still in mourning from my DD's decision during her sophomore year in college to hang up the cleats. This after a freshman season where she pitched nearly 50% of the innings. Our first impulse was to "make" her play, but then common sense made its appearance. First, a pitcher has to be in the game 24/7 and that's not possible if her heart isn't in it. Second, it wouldn't be much fun to watch her knowing that she preferred not to be playing. Third, college really has offered her a lot of new things and she has taken advantage of many of those things. I used to say I didn't know how in the world she found the time to do all the things she did during her freshman year, so I don't know why it was such a shock to me when she quit softball. She's flying out next Sunday for a semester in Ecuador and she's had a year+ relationship with a guy who may well become our son-in-law . . . . it would be hard to say those things aren't worth giving up college ball.

Someone alluded up above to the parent loving softball more than the DD. Guilty as charged, mostly because it was an activity that my husband and I could share with her.

Bottom line is we raised her to be independent and curious. She's done a great job so far on those two counts. I just wish someone would invent a magic potion that would help me to, as her brother says, "get over it."

I feel your pain. . .
 
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johnnies said:
If she wants to take the summer off, then there is little you can do, except..

Challenge her to "give back" what she has learned about hard work, receiving instructions, cooperation and helping others.

Ask her to donate 2 or 3 days a week to one or two of the following:

1. Be a "Big Sister"
2. Help coach a rec team
3. Volunteer at a Senior Center
4. Tutor a special needs child
5. Volunteer for the Special Olympics

It is ok to go to the pool several days of the week or to do things with friends, but that should not be all. It is time to understand that everyone has a responsibility in society and the age of 14 is a good time to start.

This is NOT an attempt to get her to change her mind, but it is a good time to explain that life is not all leisure. Not now and definately not later in life. It is a good lesson to learn.
Click to expand...

Johnnies your my hero!! This is the best advice in this thread!! I hope if my dd ever decides to hang up the cleats (ouch!) I will take it and run with it!! :confused:
 
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Since I have known this young lady and her family , since she was 10 I can feel dad's pain. She is a very talented young lady, but more than that. She and the family are very good people that we call friends. Hang in there Randy. You still have one heck of a high school softball team program.
 
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SBFamily
Thanks for the wonderful comments. The same to your family.
 
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You will have free time.....Maybe you could be an OFC moderator.
 
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Just give her time.. if she loves it enough she'll definitely come back.. if not try to remind her that w/o softball her summer will be BORING! And remind her that she probably met a lot of her friends from softball
Good Luck
 
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