What do i do.?

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Just give her time.. if she loves it enough she'll definitely come back.. if not try to remind her that w/o softball her summer will be BORING! And remind her that she probably met a lot of her friends from softball
Good Luck

 

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Johnnies and Mrs. LEH - nice posts. None of the following is directed at faulltless - just my opinion on the topic.

I sometimes wonder if we are aware of what we are really asking these girls to sacrifice to play 'travel' softball. Not too long ago, it used to just be spring and summers. But now, if you are not taking hitting, pitching and fielding lessons 12 months a year, playing fall ball and spending your winters training, practicing and playing an abomination of softball called indoor, you are not considered a serious player or team. Any girl not willing to commit their life and a majority of their free time year round to softball is labeled a non-serious, non-dedicated player and ridiculed by the 'serious' softball people. I've never understood that.

All three of my daughters have played travel softball, oldest played 5 years and did not play the summer after she graduated high school, but did play the summer after her freshman year in college. She loves the game and wants to be a coach someday. She also played 3 sports in high school and softball was considered secondary to anything school related and our team did not play all year. Second daughter played 3 years and was done after age 13. Third daughter played 1 year of travel ball and has not played softball of any kind since she was 10.

Second and third daughters were 'encouraged' to play. Second daughter plays 2 sports in high school and I will be lucky if the 3rd one plays one.

All kids are different, but I sometimes wonder if playing intense travel ball at younger ages is going to burn out more and more of these kids. The other significant difference in my daughter's experiences are the ages in which they started. Oldest was 13 and in 8th grade, second was 11 and in 5th grade and youngest was 10 and in 4th grade. Did I start the younger 2 too early? Who knows.

How many of us as adults would choose to devote 10-15 consecutive years of our lives to an intense, time-intensive activity where your performance and dedication is constantly compared, and not always favorably, to the very best there is? An activity where the 'adults' involved in it often act younger than the children playing it. An activity where no matter what you do, you are asked for more. Many adults don't have the drive and dedication to maintain a high level of performance at a job for 15 years. Yet these young children are put under an intense microscope for virtually their entire childhood. JMHO

 

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My daughter played select ball for 5 years and at 14 she quit playing select, she continued to play in H.S.. I feel the reason she quit playing was me. I was on her constantly and just drove her, probably until she just said enough.

I have a tremendous amount of regret for the way I treated the softball situation. I wanted her to be good; I wanted her to be good for her and her self-esteem. I got carried away and one day that was it, no more summer ball. I feel personally responsible for her stopping to play. She continued to play H.S. and is in college now, not playing.

I was hard on my team too and have many regrets there as well. There are things that have changed in my life and have changed the way I look at things now. The reality is that softball is just a game played by kids, for fun. I know I took the fun out of it for my daughter and some other kids as well.

Please take some advice from a parent and coach who has done plenty if not most things wrong. Just let your kids be kids and support them in all they do. Parents self-worth should not be affected by how good an athlete their child is.

I love my daughter more than anything and I am incredibility proud of her for many reasons, softball is a very small one. Believe me you, in a few years softball will be gone, your relationship with your daughter will be there forever .No softball game is worth ruining or straining your relationship with your daughter. Take a fools advice and just let them play and enjoy it. Regret is a very powerful thing, so what should you do? She will let you know.
Chip

 

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Johnnies and Mrs. LEH - nice posts. None of the following is directed at faulltless - just my opinion on the topic.

I sometimes wonder if we are aware of what we are really asking these girls to sacrifice to play 'travel' softball. Not too long ago, it used to just be spring and summers. But now, if you are not taking hitting, pitching and fielding lessons 12 months a year, playing fall ball and spending your winters training, practicing and playing an abomination of softball called indoor, you are not considered a serious player or team. Any girl not willing to commit their life and a majority of their free time year round to softball is labeled a non-serious, non-dedicated player and ridiculed by the 'serious' softball people. I've never understood that.

All three of my daughters have played travel softball, oldest played 5 years and did not play the summer after she graduated high school, but did play the summer after her freshman year in college. She loves the game and wants to be a coach someday. She also played 3 sports in high school and softball was considered secondary to anything school related and our team did not play all year. Second daughter played 3 years and was done after age 13. Third daughter played 1 year of travel ball and has not played softball of any kind since she was 10.

Second and third daughters were 'encouraged' to play. Second daughter plays 2 sports in high school and I will be lucky if the 3rd one plays one.

All kids are different, but I sometimes wonder if playing intense travel ball at younger ages is going to burn out more and more of these kids. The other significant difference in my daughter's experiences are the ages in which they started. Oldest was 13 and in 8th grade, second was 11 and in 5th grade and youngest was 10 and in 4th grade. Did I start the younger 2 too early? Who knows.

How many of us as adults would choose to devote 10-15 consecutive years of our lives to an intense, time-intensive activity where your performance and dedication is constantly compared, and not always favorably, to the very best there is? An activity where the 'adults' involved in it often act younger than the children playing it. An activity where no matter what you do, you are asked for more. Many adults don't have the drive and dedication to maintain a high level of performance at a job for 15 years. Yet these young children are put under an intense microscope for virtually their entire childhood. JMHO

I'm a horrible parent.

 

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I'm a horrible parent.

Not all kids burn out!

Seriously, as Chip posted after, I do have some regrets and wonder if I pushed them into something they didn't really want to do. As a parent, especially as a Dad, you just start looking at things differently when your daughters start leaving the house. Mothers and daughters will always be, well... mothers and daughters. They don't have to live in the same house to have the same dynamic. Eventually, I will not be the most important man in my daughter's lives (replaced by great ones I hope) and you start to realize that when they first leave the house.

I think Chip's post is the most insightful one on this topic. My oldest daughter was playing when the team he is referring to was and I know all about what he was trying to accomplish with that team. He has walked the path that many of you are trying to take your daughters down now. And I have posted before that there is nothing wrong with any of it if that is what your daughter wants. I just hope people evaluate what they are doing now, when you can do something about it, instead of in the rear view mirror when it is all over.

I have seen or read about many teams and players over the last 7 years on here. I have personally met many, many players over the years. The other thing I came to realize when my oldest daughter took a year off, is that I don't know many players who have played, once they started, every year thru 18U. Most have stopped entirely or taken at least one year off. Good players, who were capable of playing in college if they wanted - not players who could no longer make a team as they got older. I know there are plenty of players out there who played all the way thru, but I would make a wager with anybody that they are a small minority of ALL players who have played travel ball.