Your thoughts about switching teams!

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let me put it this way, i know so many kids that were stud pitchers at 10u and by 14u, they are playing another position. the fact of the matter is, great pitching requires great genetics, great work ethic and mental toughness. Some kids start out throwing 48 at 10u and are still only throwing 52 at 16u. now there are some kids who can absolutley throw heat at 5'5 but that is rare. Let me ask you this, how tall are you and your husband? What are your daughter's odds of being 5'9+? Were you or your husband great athletes?
WHY AM I ASKING THIS ????? Because at 10u, you never know who will be a stud pitcher at 14u. What you need at 10u is GREAT COACHING and playing time and it sounds like you have that already. there is a lot of truth in the saying that the grass isn't always greener....what if you make the switch and realize the parents on the other team are complete assholes because they all think their kids are studs and they resent you coming in and "taking" their kids PT- talk about a LOOOOONG summer.

 

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10U means nothing. As long as you have a good coach and your DD is having fun you should stay put.
Winning really means very little at this age group. The stories I could tell. Regardless. I have seen the "stud" 10U pitchers disappear and the sad sack 10U teams develop into and elite team. It is all about the coaching at this level. And to be honest. You can win a ton at the 10U level and never teach the kids the correct fundamentals needed to be great at 16U.

You really need to just chill out and sit back. If at the end of this season she wants to change teams then I suggest you do it then. But to jump ship off a 10U team at this point is just brutal to that team.

 

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This is not a path you want to go down. I envision one of the problems your DD being a pitcher is errors behind her. Good to great pitchers learn to accept what they can't control.. Umps, batters, team defense, team offense etc. All she can control is the next pitch, master that focus...the next pitch focus... And you'll have a mentally tough softball player. That focus starts at home, if mom and dad are throwing the SS under the bus, so will your DD... The apple doesn't far from the tree. I think your at a big advantage if you choose to take this path, many pitchers are forced to either develop this skill or be miserable playing ball in high school. Take advantage of this oppurtunity at such a young age to lay the ground work for mental toughness, leadership and truly being part of a team... It's after all the essence of youth sports.

 

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If you have good coaching & trust them - stay there!! You will be surprised at how much 10 yr olds can grow in knowledge & ability in a yr's time w/ good coaching. I bet in June your team will be in another stratusphere in terms of their ability b/c good coaching will get them there & you be so happy you stayed. Also, the other parents are most likely new at this too so give them a few months & you'll see change in them too.

 

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Lots of excellent comments on this matter, most of which are advising Mercedes to stick it out. My opinion on this matter will follow along those lines. There are many things I want to teach my own DD, and let's face it parents....we got involved either as parents or as coaches because our DD's showed an interest in the game, right? The lesson I want my own daughter to learn follow the same principles I instill in the teams I coach. Desire, dedication, determination, commitment, respect for themselves, their teammates, their coaches, opponents and umpires. Last but not least, I will never forget that I coach young girls and they chose to play this game years ago for 1 reason, and 1 reason alone...to have fun. Were they thinking about throwing drop curves with 2 strikes on a batter standing deep in the box to end a tough inning when they went to that very first practice with their $5 tee ball glove, hat that covered their face & the ear to ear grin? No. For young girls it starts out as a fun thing to do. Then it becomes a social event, something which we males have a hard time coming to grips with. Wasn't there a Candrea Coaching tip lately that talked about the social aspect of girls softball & how important it was to allow the girls to gab a bit during warm-up to help feed the social appetite? That tip hit me dead on recently.
Anyhow, allow me to get back to the subject here. There are several questions that you need to ask yourself:
1. As your daughter having fun?
2. Is she learning?
3. Is she getting better?
4. Based upon the assumed trend of improvement (assuming the coach is doing his or her job) do you anticipate her continued improvement?
5. Is she getting her fair share of circle time? You mentioned that she was...and most of the posts I see about disgruntled pitchers are caused by the fact that their DD did not get enough mound time.
6. Is this coach capable of improving the other girls on the team to be up to your standards? It was assumed somewhere along this thread that you believe your DD to be the best person on the team. That's not that bad of a place to be in, is it? What an opportunity for her to learn leadership, humility & several other valuable life lessons.
7. What is your goal for her? This is an important one. If you have built a massive trophy case & your primary goal as a parent is to full that case with hardware & create a huge picture album with pictures of her & her team winning trophies, then this is something you need to consider. I don't know about the other 25 comments, but hardware is something the team should earn, not something you should get just for making the "right team". Every coach out there knows of a few "soft" tournaments they can enter just to collect hardware. We all know that is not going to force our players to excel, which is why the tournaments which fill up in January are the ones which present the largest challenge for the teams. Last comment on this point...I can personally attest to knowing a team in Ohio that collected a ton of hardware last year. Unreal! That team has since folded. The girls have plenty of pictures collecting 1st & 2nd place trophies, but the players simply did not want to stay with that coach.

There is a lot to be said about the long term benefits the girls can get from any coach. It's one of the reason why I do what I do, why we (as coaches) give as much of our time as we do. My own players and their parents know this and all players should have that kind of confidence in their coach.
My short term opinion....give the coach a chance. You might be surprised by what can be accomplished by next Summer.
Hope this was helpful & good luck to you & your DD, Mercedes!

 

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I have some additional questions that may help you determine whether the issue is "bad" players or not. Do the other players also play another sport? If so, is that sport now "in season"? How many team practices have you had already? What was the coaches expectation of this tournament - to win or to evaluate the players? Are many of these girls/families first time travel players like yourself? What is the plan going forward for the team during the winter?

I think if you look at my questions and answer honestly you should get a better sense of whether you should leave or stay. I'm not advocating either, but as a first time travel parent you really have no experience just yet to jump ship at this stage. If it turns out that these coaches are in fact good, then my guess is that they are evaluating the team and will make adjustments. Also, at the 10U level, a HUGE increase in ability will occur over the winter, assuming that there is consistent practices. Also, if the players are focused on another sport right now, which is not uncommon, then they may be a little rusty, or even tired, to play at their best. If after a winter of training, and a few spring tournaments you still feel the need to leave, then you'll have additional experience to make that decision as well as what to look for in a new team. Also, you'll be able to go to tournaments and evaluate possible teams - how the girls/parents/coaches interact, how seriously they take the game, etc.

And one final comment - no one's softball career was made or broken at the 10u level. Just enjoy it for now, because if she wants to make this more than an activity, you'll have plenty of time to worry about more important issues than her teammates' abilities.

 

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Funny we just had a coach and his daughter team jump, so I can tell you that it is a poor decision. When u make a decision to commit to a team in aug, you need to stick with it. There are plenty of yrs ahead of her. I know sometimes its hard to be a pitcher with poor D behind ya, but you said you have good coaching. April is a long way away. Trust in the coaches at 10 u I'm sure they choose kids who were coachable and had some athletic ability they felt they could develop. Besides, if your dd is as good as u say, at 10s pitching is a huge factor.

 

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as you are being bombarded with a lot of opinions...I'll give one more . 10u is where you will see the biggest improvement from fall into summer. Winter training does wonders for girls that are first year 10u travel players and if you have good coaches, you can count on the fact that they will do their best to prepare your daughter and the rest of team to compete. You're happy with the pitching time she gets obviously shows that her coaches have faith in her....if she likes the team and is having fun, isn't that what it's ultimately about (and getting better)? As the saying goes.."softball is a great game parents ruin". Not saying this is you...but see toooo many parents that think their daughter is the next Jennie Finch and jump teams every year. Lastly, keep in mind that as you may want your daughter on a better team...there may be a time your daughter is cut for a better player...and some teams have done this at the older level during mid season.

 

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as you are being bombarded with a lot of opinions...I'll give one more . 10u is where you will see the biggest improvement from fall into summer. Winter training does wonders for girls that are first year 10u travel players and if you have good coaches, you can count on the fact that they will do their best to prepare your daughter and the rest of team to compete. You're happy with the pitching time she gets obviously shows that her coaches have faith in her....if she likes the team and is having fun, isn't that what it's ultimately about (and getting better)? As the saying goes.."softball is a great game parents ruin". Not saying this is you...but see toooo many parents that think their daughter is the next Jennie Finch and jump teams every year. Lastly, keep in mind that as you may want your daughter on a better team...there may be a time your daughter is cut for a better player...and some teams have done this at the older level during mid season.

I totally believe this and it's absolutely true in my personal experience. Seen this come true for 3 separate teams but nothing like it did my my 3rd year at 10u. We were so bad in the fall playing up at 12u I didn't know how it would go come spring. All of the pitchers that were getting us by in the Fall were terrible come Spring and even gave up pitching and those that were terrible in the Fall were lights out in the Spring and beyond. Needed all "5" pitchers from tryouts and ended up with two. Still the two we have today believe it or not. Totally unpredictable. Hard work, good lessons, and dedication from both the family and player got these young ladies into an entirely new position for success. We were 0-10 in the fall and the scores were really bad, like the worst I'd experienced as a softball coach and then 41-10 in the spring/summer.

 

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I believe in making an ethical decision. If your daughter makes a decision to play for team you should keep that committment! What are we doing as parents if we let our kids quit, change, decommit, or do what they want anytime they want. It puts teams and coaches in a bad position, most importantly it makes people look bad. My feelings are that girls should try out and make a mutual decision with their parents, stick to it and build some integrity in your life!

 

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i believe in making an ethical decision. If your daughter makes a decision to play for team you should keep that committment! What are we doing as parents if we let our kids quit, change, decommit, or do what they want anytime they want. It puts teams and coaches in a bad position, most importantly it makes people look bad. My feelings are that girls should try out and make a mutual decision with their parents, stick to it and build some integrity in your life!

Agree 100 0/0 !!

 

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I believe in making an ethical decision. If your daughter makes a decision to play for team you should keep that committment! What are we doing as parents if we let our kids quit, change, decommit, or do what they want anytime they want. It puts teams and coaches in a bad position, most importantly it makes people look bad. My feelings are that girls should try out and make a mutual decision with their parents, stick to it and build some integrity in your life!

What should you do if your daughter gets down on her team because there not very good,and no longer enjoys playing,I guess not commiting until you know the talent level of the team would be a good start.I know first hand what happends its not pleasant.

 

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What should you do if your daughter gets down on her team because there not very good,and no longer enjoys playing,I guess not commiting until you know the talent level of the team would be a good start.I know first hand what happends its not pleasant.

Agree 100%. If it's a bad fit... so bad that it may make her want to quit, isn't it worth finding her a better fit before she wants to call it quits?

 

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I believe in making an ethical decision. If your daughter makes a decision to play for team you should keep that committment! What are we doing as parents if we let our kids quit, change, decommit, or do what they want anytime they want. It puts teams and coaches in a bad position, most importantly it makes people look bad. My feelings are that girls should try out and make a mutual decision with their parents, stick to it and build some integrity in your life!

Your first commitment should be to your daughter - her safety, her enjoyment, her. I think most, if not all, understand the difference between leaving a team due to petty reasons and leaving a team due to your parental duties. At the younger ages it should be about development of skills. Since the OP mentioned this is a 10u team, I wouldn't be surprised if this team is made up of first year players and parents. Leaving a team now is foolish in my opinion. As this team practices over the winter many of the OP's concerns will probably go away. If not, then a decision will have to be made.

And one thing I forgot to mention in my earlier post to the OP: there are times when the best player at 10u DOES NOT improve as the team improves. This usually, in my experience, happens when the parents are looking for a better team because DD is the best and doesn't need to practice as much as the other girls - according to the parents. Those girls usually do find other teams, again and again year after year, and then eventually stop playing.