Appropriate Coaching Behavior?

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I told her not to worry, that it was just as much my fault for not teaching blocking and not to worry. That we would work on it first chance we get at practice.

Coaches need to be accountable for themselves.

Bravo, Coach! :yahoo: I wish every coach had that attitude.

Instead what I usually see are coaches who hang their players or their teams out to dry when a game starts going south.

They're ashamed of how their team is playing, then they try and distance themselves from the team by yelling or punishing the girls.

A team is a TEAM. Coach included, as Scott here indicates.

To work effectively as a unit, the team has to be committed to helping and supporting every single member.

Sometimes this means the coach should be tough and expect more. But it *never* means humiliating people in public.

 

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After reading all the posts about this subject(thanks for everyones input) I would say majority rules - the push ups during the game were not a great way to motivate or re-focus the girls.

 

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I found it very disturbing reading this. Why do coaches feel that yelling, being sarcastic, and degrading their players will "get the message across"? These are young girls! I agree with one of the other posts....some coaches are so worried about their ego and reputation, that they do not take into consideration that these are kids! I have seen so many players quit the sport because they feel so much pressure and anxiety to please others! Is this really what it is all about? My dad coached my softball team for 6 years. We were undefeated the last 4 years! My dad NEVER yelled! When a player would make an error, he would not "pull them out of the game". He would use "POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT" from the dugout. The player would then smile and not give up! Twenty years later, players from my dad's team will tell me that he was the best coach. There were never any "pressures" to succeed, but there was a DESIRE to SUCCEED!

 

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I'm a little confused:

Are you the informed parent, or are you relaying information? I think the information may have gone over better if the D-1 player would have approached the coach herself. And if you haven't provided help or information in the past, during the entire season, and have proven yourself to be a reliable source then I can understand why the coach might not listen to your sudden knowledge.

I've been both a parent and a coach, and trust me, players know who the "coaches" are. I originally started out as just a parent, but once the other players, and their parents, saw what DD was doing, and that she was getting that info from me and NOT her coach, I was then asked to coach.

It sounds like your DD is on the wrong team, for many reasons that I agree with you on. But as a coach I'd be very hard pressed to listen to a parent who did not participate all season long in any coaching aspect to all of a sudden have great wisdom on how a player should be playing a position.

I study the game, have coached for about ten years and relayed the information as what my daughter had received in private sessions with the D-1 shortstop who is unlikely to come to our games or practices and volunteer information to our coach. My naive view is that a male coach at 16U level likely knows less than a four year starter D-1 player. IF I was a coach receiving such information and saw myself as a student of the game, I would at least pursue the information farther and verify its accuracy. Then, possibly apply it to my program. What I would not do is assume my parents were either stupid or overstepping their bounds. I guess I am assuming that coaches can both be in control and be open to respectfully offered perspectives from spectator parents.

Now, on this team, there is some low key drama about "effective coaching" and such but not so there is a likely move to accept me, or any other parent, as a preferred source of information or direction. There is no real option for my (or anyone else) participation. My concern is that this team might unravel and that will help no one. But this is not my problem.

But, you are right, my daughter is on the wrong team. But, we committed and, as a matter of principle and teaching proper lessons to our kid, are not going to bale just yet.

Thanks for you insights. There are appreciated.

 

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One of my younger dd's playing ball this year...second game of the season...coach puts her at first but she has never played first base before. She misses most of the balls thrown her way (very few balls thrown TO her, just in the general direction of first base). Coach starts yelling and she starts crying. In the middle of the game coach pulls her out, leaves the team short, and tells her to sit the bench, then puts someone else at first who doesn't do much better, but doesn't yell at her.

Ok... my dd is 4, playing t-ball for the first time.... After fighting all the way home and not talking for a couple of days after that, I think her coach realized that she is not playing 16u like her older sisters! ;&

He was much better after that!

 

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One of my younger dd's playing ball this year...second game of the season...coach puts her at first but she has never played first base before. She misses most of the balls thrown her way (very few balls thrown TO her, just in the general direction of first base). Coach starts yelling and she starts crying. In the middle of the game coach pulls her out, leaves the team short, and tells her to sit the bench, then puts someone else at first who doesn't do much better, but doesn't yell at her.

Ok... my dd is 4, playing t-ball for the first time.... After fighting all the way home and not talking for a couple of days after that, I think her coach realized that she is not playing 16u like her older sisters! ;&

He was much better after that!

Ahem, she was crying because she was missing the balls...she was sat down until she stopped crying, then was welcome to come back out. All the 4 year olds on the team were told if they cried, they needed to go sit down until they stopped, otherwise someone would get hurt. Softball moms, ugh!!! :lmao:

 

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One of the parents said that they felt that coaching should be done at practice, game time you have to let the girls play as they were coached. The coach should take notes on their performance and bring it up in practice as things they need to work on. I thought that was pretty good advice!

Yes. But not solely, if a player makes an error in the field - esp a mental one - the best time to talk to them about it is as soon as the team comes off the field. Usually, our team gathers around me when they come in, I may have a quick word for them about the upcoming at bat and then I will say to the player to see me while they go to the dugout, I will quickly make sure they recall the situation, then review what they did, and what they should have done - or sometimes why what they did was right in 1 situation, but in that one it wasn't .. then send them on to the dugout. They have the instance fresh in their mind - the correct thing is re-inforced right then.

Often we will review in practice later if needed. Watch any major league game and the 'dugout' time is where they talk about situtations, plays, etc - it keeps the players in the game mentally ...it's why I like having a bench coach that knows the game well...

 

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I would suggest that if punishment is dished out that the coaches participate fully in the punishment; it is the team thing. When we have done this, and the coaching staff is doing the running, the girls will make it a contest out of it and the it becomes a team building experience. Actually making a point but the 'punishment' encourages laughter........ and the 'TEAM' will focus and work harder.

I can't tell you how few times we have had to resort to punishment.

 

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Once someone starts yelling at another party, the other party immediately goes into the defensive mode and ceases to learn.

Totally agree, this can't be said enough - in every aspect of life.