Respect Issues

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Just a question for some of the smartest people around.
If your DD had a coach...not even her coach by the way...making remarks in front of the rest of the team how would you handle this. I believe he is trying to be funny...however at what risk. A couple of the girls have stated astonishment that he would make some of the remarks he has. What about the effects of this?? :-/ Respect is earned and how are these girls to show it for the others on their team if it doesn't resonate from the staff?? Asking for "constructive assistance".

 

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Kind of vague details but you may be right the coach may be trying to inject humor.....I'd say give it a few weeks....some of the coaches have no idea who or what the player is all about and after they become familiar with each other there may be a better understanding of each others personalities. Hard to take on new players and gel right away.

 

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Respect is vital, especially when coaching girls. If the girls are astonished or appalled by these remarks, they have no place in practice. If the target of the remark is new to the girls, the girls might not accept her. If the coach is new, the girls may rally around the target and join forces against him (they may do that even if the girls is new). Then he is toast!

I have watched respect in action and it is fascinating. When a team of girls respects their coach, they can do amazing things. A girl will do things she was convinced she couldn't because the coach asked asked her to do them! I've seen girls ditch boyfriends because they didn't respect the team/coach/sport. On the other hand, I have watched a team completely fall apart because they didn't respect or like the coach.

Respect has another interesting benefit. When girls respect the coach, sometimes a girl will defend the coach when her parents develop an attitude. (Now that is something to see.)

 

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This coach is NEW to the program and is not even this girls coach. I tend to believe that the seasoned coaches would not condone this type of behavior. I would compare the effect it is having as behavior exhibited by a whipped puppy. By this I mean she may follow and do what is told. However, it is only going thru the motions and no longer exhibits the spirit and desire they started with. You know how SOME comments are a good laugh, but ultimately they are ALWAYS at the expense of others.

 

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Sounds like coach is feeling a bit awkard around the kids, you will see stuff like this when seasons first start, especially if a coach is new and/or Young. I like what I read earlier about giving it a few days, if your afraid to appraoch the coach about his/her behavior because your not sure how it will effect your kid etc, do it announymously, Just follow the proper chain of command, start with approaching the Varsity coach regardless if that is whose behavior you have an issue with or not. If you feel you can approach the coach face to face, then obviously that would be best, but I would make sure it is brought to the coaches attention first before going over their head and see how they react to your concern.

 

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Uber makes some great points.

I guess I need a little more info. Were the remarks personal in nature, or referring to softball performance. Either way, I have found that girls take the same situation "differently" on different days depending on the girls mood. Light hearted ribbing may be laughed off one day, and be the "end of the world" the next. It is tough being a new coach to a program. He is probably trying real hard to connect with the girls. It takes time and patience to connect, for both the girls and the coach. Several mistakes will be made, but time will work them out. Give the coach the time and the benefit of the doubt to work it out. In the end, if it is bad behavior on the coach's part, confront the coach and then take it up if necessary.

BTW, my view is that if you are a coach in a program (Varsity, JV, Freshman, Asst.), you may not be the head coach to a particular girl, but you are her coach nonetheless. Usually all the coaches are part of the "team", and work towards the same overall goals. Since the new coach has interactions with the girl in question, I assume he was enabled to do so by the head coach, and is a part of the coaching team. All programs may not work this way, but I'm sure that most do.