The problem with most coaches

[default]

As we begin yet another school season I feel compelled to point out what I believe to be the problem with most coaches (even travel coaches)

When my DD was in middle school her coach was not a very good leader and sometimes created more drama than the girls.

Her freshman year the first year coach was young, a strict disciplinarian and caused allot of turmoil amongst the team and parents. This coach was not asked to come back the next year.

We moved so she transferred schools her sophmore year and that coach had a strong program in place and my DD only got to DH with very limited time on defense.

All of these coaches contributed to where my DD is today. Everything they did, brought her to where she is today.

She just verballed to a D1 school as a junior and is looking forward to another great high school and travel season.

The problem with most coaches is that parents don't teach their DD to respect the coach NO MATTER WHAT! The problem with most coaches is that parents and their DD don't work hard to get better and be the best player and teammate they can be. The problem with most coaches is not the coaches at all. It is unrealistic parents and players who have high expectaions and demands and very little work ethic and respect.

It starts with respect of the authority figure. In school ball you get what you get....make the most of it, work your tail off and earn what you want. In travel ball, same things apply except you have some choice about the coach. There may be politics, poor coaching and some unfair things happen. If I said it once I said it a hundred times..."the coach is the leader of the group, respect the coach and their decisions and make the most of it. Work hard on your own to get better and to prove you deserve to be on the field."

I can't begin to explain how hard she worked (with results, not just putting time in) and it shows to everyone who has seen her year after year.

I know there will be some who will get on here and tell us how this sounds good, "but you should hear what happened to my DD..." BLAH BLAH BLAH

Respect the coach as the authority figure you need to answer to.
Work your tail off on your own to prove you should be on the field and actually get better.
TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FUTURE AND YOUR PRESENT

 

[default]

Nice post. Couldent agree more

 

[default]

Thank you! Could not have been said better and is absolutely 200% truth

Sincerely
A Coach

 

[default]

Thank you, excellent post.

 

[default]

Amen!!!

 

[default]

tell the dd congrats, she stuck it out, learned some great life lessons, and created her own destiny...

what university?

 

[default]

That's what I'm talking about!!! Good post...WORK ON YOUR OWN GIRLS, make yourselves invaluable to your teams.

 

[default]

Excellent post. I nominate for post of the year!

 

[default]

Excellent post. I nominate for post of the year!

I agree....

 

[default]

I am going to disagree here...

Respect is a two way street...

Just got in tonight (its Friday)... My daughter has just come back from hitting with her travel team.

A lot of people are out on Friday night with friends, family, and the like... having fun, enjoying a movie, etc... both players and coaches...

Instead this young girl is out working hard with her travel team... Every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday she is hitting... She is pitching on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday.

She works extremely hard to earn the respect of her teammates and coaches.

Just as hard as she works to earn the respect of her coaches, she expects her coaches to earn her respect. Just because someone puts on a hat and says "hey I am the coach" she should not automatically respect this person no matter what they do.

My daughter is extremely respectful of people. She is the type to say "yes sir" and "yes coach" and she will give the coach the benefit of the doubt and treat that coach respectfully from the moment she walks on the field.

But if that coach treats her disrespectfully she will not in any way play for that person. As a coach you have to EARN THE RIGHT TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER PLAY for you. She has worked too hard to be treated poorly. The respect that she will automatically give the coach can be "taken away" just as easy.

My frustration with this kind of talk is that you treat your kids as second class citizens. I have always treated my daughters as adults and try to treat them respectfully. I am interested in their thoughts and their interest.

To simply say, it does not matter how you are treated by this person - you have to respect them is well... STUPID.

If your boss is an IDIOT, a "donkey", etc. You are going to go looking for another job. You are not going to just say... "hey, he's my boss and I have to respect him no matter what he does and I have to sit here and take his abuse." Holy ****! You are going to go looking for a new job and tell him to shove it as soon as you find a new job.

So again... Coach's should automatically be given respect at first but it must continue to be earned.

 

[default]

Congrats to your DD!

I have long been a believer that ball players are made, not born. I see it time and time and time again. Sure there are those phenoms out there, but they are a true rarity.

Hard work, perseverance and dedication are the cornerstones of a life well spent. You and your DD should be proud.

Winning is not the key. The pursuit of excellence is the key. Winning is the natural by-product of that.

 

[default]

ump5761: Thankyou...Eastern Michigan

Media Steve; Congratulations on what your daughter is doing. I don't know you or your daughter as you don't know us. I appreciate your thoughts, I too have a daughter that I treat as a young adult and she definately thinks for herself, she made the decision of what school to go to. In all of the situations I mentioned there were players and parents who threw around some of the same terms you did..."abuse, disrespect, etc". I was there, saw it all with my own eyes and emphasized the bigger picture to my daughter. (and there was no abuse or disrespect except toward the coaches in these situations)

I purposely said "most coaches" because as with Boss's there are good ones and there are bad ones...like with umpires, some have a tight strikezone, some have a wide strike zone and some I couldn't label. What I have emphasized to my daughter is that at the end of the game, there is only room in that little box in the score book to write down what you did at your at bat....and that's because none of the other stuff matters. So she has learned to take control of what she can control...her actions.

The same thing applies to the rest of it. The Big Score Book of life has little boxes that only have room for the facts of what YOU have accomplished, none of the other stuff matters. Our approach might not be for everyone, but it worked for us, we are batting 1000 on our attempts to play at the next level.

 

[default]

ump5761: Thankyou...Eastern Michigan

Media Steve; Congratulations on what your daughter is doing. I don't know you or your daughter as you don't know us. I appreciate your thoughts, I too have a daughter that I treat as a young adult and she definately thinks for herself, she made the decision of what school to go to. In all of the situations I mentioned there were players and parents who threw around some of the same terms you did..."abuse, disrespect, etc". I was there, saw it all with my own eyes and emphasized the bigger picture to my daughter. (and there was no abuse or disrespect except toward the coaches in these situations)

I purposely said "most coaches" because as with Boss's there are good ones and there are bad ones...like with umpires, some have a tight strikezone, some have a wide strike zone and some I couldn't label. What I have emphasized to my daughter is that at the end of the game, there is only room in that little box in the score book to write down what you did at your at bat....and that's because none of the other stuff matters. So she has learned to take control of what she can control...her actions.

The same thing applies to the rest of it. The Big Score Book of life has little boxes that only have room for the facts of what YOU have accomplished, none of the other stuff matters. Our approach might not be for everyone, but it worked for us, we are batting 1000 on our attempts to play at the next level.

 

[default]

Sorry, no logical reason for posting twice except maybe I need some coffee

 

[default]

LOL Don't we all.

 

[default]

JJen,


Thanks for the advice for those of us that have younger dd's. Hard work and respect pays off no matter what your path in life is and I know that is why all of my dd's participate in sports. Congrats to Cass and good luck this season, all of the hard work and your efforts paid off. We will need to stop by and watch some HS games.

For us coaches remember you win because of talent and you lose because of poor coaching. HA HA

 

[default]

A good coach can give you the mechanics and drills to develop good muscle memory, but without hard work by the player on her own, only the most extremely athletically talented players will have the kind of success it takes to get to college. There is no question that hard work to replace bad muscle memory with good muscle memory, or to just develop good muscle memory to begin with, is necessary for 99% of the players who end up playing in college.

Team hitting practices are great but working SLOWLY with CORRECT MECHANICS off of the tee in a player's house/yard can be at least equally as important or more important as that third and maybe even that second weekly team hitting practice. But that "homework" takes discipline.

Sitting in front of a TV with a bat and consistently using the correct grip during commercials can build muscle memory. There are all kinds of ways to build the right muscle memory for fastpitch skills without driving to a hitting cage or participating in multiple weekly team practices. (And as hectic as things are during the hs season, with its multiple weekly practices and games, there is still time to get back to basics on the player's own, maybe just by hitting a pair of rolled up socks in front of a full-length mirror or throwing outside at a Teddy Bear on top of an overturned garbage can until she either hits the Teddy Bear a few times or has thrown thirty balls; at ownership of 10 balls, that's only three buckets' worth).

Every time Crystl Bustos asks at her clinics how many times that preceding week the players practiced completely on their own, I can see her sit on her temper when the responses are so poor. She never loses her temper but she does point out that it is crazy to spend money on clinics and bats if the players don't have the commitment to develop good skills by practicing on their own.

Ted's rule in our house when both our kids were playing ball was 100 swings a night (and in the winter they could be dry swings inside) and to this day there is a red strike zone painted on our garage door for those days when Ted wasn't available to catch our dd but she wanted to work on her pitching mechanics. And yet both kids found the time to do tons of other school extracurriculars, community service, socializing, etc. etc. Hard work at ball does not mean having no other life. But if a player isn't willing to put in the hard work, then absent being in the top 1% with respect to athletic talent, she might want to consider whether she would be happier in other pursuits or just playing ball at a level where having fun is the nearly exclusive goal.

What I love about jjen's post is that it actually empowers players to get better even if the coaching situation isn't ideal.

 

[default]

Mike: Thanks old friend...it has been a fun journey

CGS: Thank you and that was exactly the point of my post...to add to that point, she is 5' (even) ran 3.0 home to first 1 year ago and now is 2.7...

Hard work and respect

 

[default]

The problem with most coaches is that parents don't teach their DD to respect the coach NO MATTER WHAT! The problem with most coaches is that parents and their DD don't work hard to get better and be the best player and teammate they can be. The problem with most coaches is not the coaches at all. It is unrealistic parents and players who have high expectaions and demands and very little work ethic and respect.

It starts with respect of the authority figure. In school ball you get what you get....make the most of it, work your tail off and earn what you want. In travel ball, same things apply except you have some choice about the coach. There may be politics, poor coaching and some unfair things happen. If I said it once I said it a hundred times..."the coach is the leader of the group, respect the coach and their decisions and make the most of it. Work hard on your own to get better and to prove you deserve to be on the field."

Jjen:

I respect coaches and really do appreciate what they do because most of them do it for the love of the sport not $$$. A travel volleyball once told me he took the stipend he got for coaching divided it by the number of hours he spent coaching his team and he calculated he made 35 cents an hour. Not much. Because of that we try to help out as much as the coach wants. We've done stats and book, carried tents, setup and teardowns, bring food and water for the team, etc.

With the skills that girls are being taught today, you can't fool them. They figure out real fast where the coach stands as far as expertise and knowledge. With both my DD's playing multiple sports over the years, I can tell you they had the utmost respect for a good coach. We've been on teams with the Daddy-coaches and bad coaches, and they would so what I call "professional courtesy" but I wouldn't call it respect.

Players today are smarter and more skilled on the field, they figure the rest out by themselves as well.

 

[default]

Respect is a two way street...


Just as hard as she works to earn the respect of her coaches, she expects her coaches to earn her respect. Just because someone puts on a hat and says "hey I am the coach" she should not automatically respect this person no matter what they do.


But if that coach treats her disrespectfully she will not in any way play for that person. As a coach you have to EARN THE RIGHT TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER PLAY for you. She has worked too hard to be treated poorly. The respect that she will automatically give the coach can be "taken away" just as easy.

My frustration with this kind of talk is that you treat your kids as second class citizens. I have always treated my daughters as adults and try to treat them respectfully. I am interested in their thoughts and their interest.

To simply say, it does not matter how you are treated by this person - you have to respect them is well... STUPID.

I agree Steve.

It's a two-way street and the kids have the power to enforce respect as much as the coach. It's balance because the player-coach relationship is a human relationship and both parties should treat the other with respect regardless of age.

We have always treated our kids with respect and they have always shown it back to us. I have a great relationship with both my girls, open, honest, and respectful. My kids even disagree with me and that's okay provided there are good reasons behind it.

Respect is not automatic nor demanded, it is earned and given.