i have a problem and need some input please!!

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I wanted an opinion from others to what they think about this statement!! please read in its entirety as it is very important!!!
I coached softball team this year 12u rec ball . And I did not do an all-stars list. I had told president that I wasn't turning list in because the cple that could of made it didn't deserve it and told her the names of the girls and why!! 1 of the girls that could of made it didn't deserve it because of attitudes with throwing gear around, missing practices and practicing with opposing team on more than 1 occasion plus several other things ( not this 1 girl in particular) although she didn't listen(on some key plays) sometimes or play with correct attitude sometimes. thats not why she didn't get on the list!! The other girl that could of made it cost us tourney forfeits cuz she chose not to show up. The rest of the girls did deserve it, but there was no way they would let them on the all-star team( just how they are, they knew who they wanted and list didn't mean anything, which I knew.. the other reason I didnt make a list was I didn't want anyone to say that I was playing favorites to anyone girl( since my daughter was on the team along with friends kids)

So this was posted on my wall earlier tonight!! now I don't know how they found out what I said or why they think it was directed towards their daughter( which it wasn't)Yes this girl was on all-stars last year but parents made a cple of comments about lack of $$ and the coaches would have to get her there and back.( why would I put them in that position being friends of ours!!!) and as far as I am concerned they all should of gone if 1 did!! some of the least experienced players played with more heart than some of the most experience. so I thought that best thing was not to turn in a list that way no one could say anything derogatory or otherwise,
well apparently it backfired on me as u can see from what was written below,Now mind you, these are friends( are , where whatever) I have taken their kids to softball, ******, babysat their little girls , they have borrowed everything from tools to sugar , cake mixes( for a sweet-tooth), fingernail polish remover ,eggs and yes even toilet-paper ( no they didn't bring it back afterwards, LOL), Yes they would replace, but the moral is, we are where all friends!!!! We helped them any way they needed it!!!!!
so this was copied and pasted word for word, and I want to know what yall think of it!
and how yall would of handled an all-star list and just in general about this problem!!
now mind u , I never said anything about any one being in the running of all-stars!! so this is what was wrote on my FB wall!!
well -------- (names left out)worked her *** off all season and was in the running for allstars...but someone didn't think she was gd enough...all I have to say is karma is a bitch...careful for what u do to others..
now how would yall take this!!! and what if anything would yall say to this person/friend???????????
PLease leave a reply with what yall think and feel I should do/handle this situation!!
Thank you

 

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Sounds like you need to watch your back lol.

 

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First of all, if the Rec coaches were told to prepare a short list of players from their squad to be turned in for consideration for an all-star team, you should have completed your assignment and done this. Who are you to be judge and jury? Your job as a coach was to make a list for your superiors. You should have. Secondly, you should have made up the list of girls that deserve it. If the criteria was the season numbers, that's what you use. If the criteria was overall leadership from your team, that's the guide you use. Again, regardless of their ability, in your eyes, compared to the rest of the league, you should still fulfill your duties and turn in the list. In regards to the post you need to let it go. In your position you need to show some professionalism. Even tho it's Rec ball, you and your team are part of a "bigger than you" picture. The post may never have come had you done your job. Also, it appears while you feel you have done so much for them they believe they have done that much and more for you. It doesn't merit their daughter automatically get her name on your short list but we'll never know now that you didn't do your job and decided to be executioner and exclude your team members for consideration.

 

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Everyone needs to take a chill pill and count to ten. There is way to much emotion going on here to be healthy for anyone. Calm down and remember why you are coaching and be the bigger person. Try to protect the kids.

Is anyone having any fun?

 

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Kind of like what Daboss said: Turn in a list with the names of the players on your team who are most worthy - in your opinion. If the Prima-Donna's and the Part-Timers aren't on the list, but the people who run the league choose them anyhow, you can't control that. At least you will know that you did what you considered the "right thing".

 

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All the girls on the team should write down 2 names of players on the team that should go to all stars(other than their own) and that is how they should be decided top 2 names go. Leaves the volunteer unappreciated coach out of the mix so that the whiny unappreciative parents don't cry to the coach!

 

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parent goggles should be outlawed!! just saying...;& lol

 

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Agree you should have sent in a list, but regardless...you will never make every parent happy with who you submitted, someone will be left off where a parent feels that their daughter deserved it. That's the risk of being a coach, especially when you have a friends daughter(s) on the team...sometimes expectations are skewed.

 

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Welcome to coaching!! And rec seems to always be rougher than other levels.

 

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Welcome to coaching!! And rec seems to always be rougher than other levels.

Very true....everyone thinks their daughter is a Finch or Mendoza

 

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Very true....everyone thinks their daughter is a Finch or Mendoza

Don't forget Thomas (and I mean Chelsea, not you, Tom). :lmao:

 

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I agree with others you should have put a list together. Your list could have been of the most deserving players, that don’t necessarily mean your best. By assuming one of the other girls wouldn’t have made the team you didn’t even give them a chance. Let them be voted on you never know.

 

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As an afterthought sitting here today, Yes I should of turned in a list! and yes the idea of having the girls put in names sounds like what woud of been best way to do it!! This was my first time as head coach and in this instance i showed my in-experience!! But on another hand , the all-star coaches already knew who they wanted and who they would have!! ( so a list from me would of been pointless anyways!! this is a Very Small town(like 3 stop lights in it) with 3 teams only and 10girls on each team, and it definitely show it during season, they always play best players and leave out the less experienced ones, or at best put them in outfield for maybe an in or 2 at max!! where as I used it to teach them all to play more than 1 or 2 places! I did like the post about welcoming to coaching!! I really did love it, but I don't think there is a chance in H-LL, that I will coach again next year!! to many pre-madonna's and that is just the parents! said part is he girls on my team always had fun and they learned something too. If yall think your politics are bad where your at, they are 4 times worse in this town!! its winning at all cost, with no exception to teaching and fun. That is not how I learned ball, nor how I played, yes winning was nice, but no at cost of seeing the kids smile and laugh!! thank you for the reply's ,whether u agreed with me or not , I thank you, Coach DJ

 

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All star list already.?????? Our league just started here? Used to give each girl two slips for her parents. Two slips only even if from divorced family then mom got one and dad got one, always worked out on who I would have chosen as well....

 

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As an afterthought sitting here today, Yes I should of turned in a list! and yes the idea of having the girls put in names sounds like what woud of been best way to do it!! This was my first time as head coach and in this instance i showed my in-experience!! But on another hand , the all-star coaches already knew who they wanted and who they would have!! ( so a list from me would of been pointless anyways!! Coach DJ

Well, you're almost there. lol. You need to let go of the things you have no control over. A committee will do whatever they do. Your only involvement at that point was to turn in your list however it was decided. Actually, I like the idea suggested about players voting but I have no idea what the selection rules are. Also, just because politics in rec sports in your town is as thick as peanut butter, that's no reason to hang it up after 1 season. You may be the shot in the arm that helps some of the kids move forward in this sport. Your explanation of "why" you did it will probably be rewarded by watching some of the kids continue to improve and represent your school district with guts and determination in the future. Help the kids, grow thicker skin, follow the league directions, and more importantly keep teaching the "how's and why's" and let the cards fall as they may. Personally, I believe the first year is always the hardest for a new coach. Admit your mistakes but take credit for your achievements at next year's team meeting and promise that hindsight has taught you a lesson and you will grow from it. Then, do what you do that all of us admire--------teach.

 

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Our league got 5 nominees from each team. The girls voted the first four and then the coach selected the fifth.

Most of the leagues out here form 2 teams and there are separate tournaments for each level, although the first team is the only one that goes on to compete in ASA Class B championship play. Both teams develop the girls to play at a higher level than they can during the regular season.

 

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Don't start putting it out there that you will probably not coach next year. You may be feeling this way now, but feelings will change. Politics are everywhere and I am sure it is not worse in your community. It is worse everywhere.

It would be tough to find a coach on here that doesn't have a story to tell similar to yours. I have many. Keep doing what is in the best interest of the girls on the field and make sure that they are having fun, falling in love with the game, and learning things here or there.

You stated that these girls were good enough to be on your list, but that their attitudes and attendance were bad-Did you speak to the parents throughout the season about your concerns and the fact that they are good to be on all-stars but need to show more committment? Honesty may tick people off, but it's hard to argue about it.

If you didn't have an attendance policy in place before the start of the season, you can't hold it against them now. I agree that attendance is a must, but I have contracts that they sign so that they know what I expect.

 

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Should of put the two best girls on the list regardless of your feelings. It's about the kids not your drama. At 12 years old you should be judging the kids on there play on the field. My experience after 8 years of rec. and travel ball is that it's not easy to find 12 to 15 perfect personalities of teenagers that mesh together all the time and that many sets of parents that are great together. Always some sort of drama. In your original post you gave reasons why you didn't pick the two girls but now of the reasons were related to play on the field. In my opinion that is a mistake. You sound like a nice person giving your time. Don't give up coaching.