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and....if the parent does not make the right decision, it is on the coach to make it.... regardless of what the parent says. She's under the coach's supervision, he is also responsible. In our program, if you don't like our mandated facemask rule, then go play with another program. In 5 years, that has not happened, not even almost.
I agree the coach has the right to make a decision on this, as coaches do on any lineup decision. And, as you say, the parents can always take their child elsewhere. This is why I'm almost always opposed to mandates from ASA or any other governing body. Give us options and let us choose where we want to take our business. That's the free market at work and it winnows out the ineffective and rewards good ideas and businesses.
In the situation OnTheBucket was faced with, he had to make a quick decision and erred on the side of safety. I can't fault that. Certainly he knew the girl's mom was fine with her pitching just by implication, but his softball sense said this was dangerous and he made the call. And the mom can then switch her daughter to another team at the first availability opportunity, if she wishes.