What would you do differently???

[wvanalmsick]

For those members that have had DD's progress through the age groups, what would you, as a parent, have done differently if you had the opportunity for a do-over?

 

[Pacerdad57]

Absolutely do more research on the team and coaches to avoid toxic situations, especially for the younger players

 

[coachjwb]

Started her on fastpitch earlier (DD played slowpitch through age 12), and got acquainted with OFC and the fastpitch game and teams outside of our immediate area.

 

[softballmom2000]

Started her on fastpitch earlier (DD played slowpitch through age 12), and got acquainted with OFC and the fastpitch game and teams outside of our immediate area.

I would have to say the same thing. I would have only moved her over at 11-12U though, not earlier. I loved that she could play T-ball at 5 in the local rec league and got a lot of instructional time in the slow pitch.

 

[Fairman]

I have two dd's about 6 years apart, both played in college and both were academically successful. The first one was a learning curve to the younger one's benefit and yet I still made serious mistakes in regards to coaches, teams and organizations with the younger one. Do the best you can and move on if need be.

 

[HITTER23]

1. Let her be more of a kid and enjoy her summers more than just softball.

2. Start earlier on the college fund.

 

[WWolff]

I would not have been so hard on my daughter. Which I am very sorry for, and got her with a organization that has a reputation,and record of helping get girls college scholarships.

 

[Pacerdad57]

1. Let her be more of a kid and enjoy her summers more than just softball.

2. Start earlier on the college fund.

Excellent post hitter!

 

[coachtomv]

Good question, great post for reflection.

I would have pulled my middle daughter off of her "all-star" rec team earlier, town politics and short sighted coach. That was a waste of time and only pushed her away from the sport for a bit. Her one season with the Outlaws and playing with her younger sister for a year in rec did help alot and she saw how good she could be and made some great friends. That was one of my favorite memories coaching that little 14u team with my youngest as starting pitcher at 11yrs playing with big sis, very fun year(they'll do it again next year as freshman-senior).

As a coach, I would have not suffered fools so long, early on in my coaching days. I no longer do and I am much more relaxed for it, lol. We surround ourselves with coaches, parents, players that have our backs and are in it for the right reasons. We will pass on close relationships with others, without as much character, talented or not.

Surround yourself with good, talented people and don't sweat every detail, enjoy the ride and stop looking for whats next all the time. It goes by too fast. Oh, and make sure to appreciate those people and let them know it often.

 

[cobb_of_fury]

I would have to say the same thing. I would have only moved her over at 11-12U though, not earlier. I loved that she could play T-ball at 5 in the local rec league and got a lot of instructional time in the slow pitch.

My DD benefited greatly from Slow pitch, In our area there were three choices at 10U after coach pitch; you could go to Girl pitch Fast Pitch or Girl Pitch Slow pitch or a split time between both.
Typicaly the most athletic went to Fast Pitch the others went to slow - No one did both except my daughter.

But what was great, while she was OK at Fastpitch and could hold her own (She was a pitcher and got to play all positions on the field and she hit well).
She was the queen of Slow pitch and was always asked to play up at 12's when she was 9 (All 3 of our 12u teams started asking her to play). So it bult up her confidance greatly and made her comfortable to play with older girls and that comfort level made her play better when she was at fastpitch.
Because of the time it took (A game every night + travel ball on the weekends) we cut back to just fastpitch the second year of 10's -

I would have taken more time to research her first Travel team - But looking back it probably helped her greatly - She learned the basics very well but was on a really bad team for two years. but the good that came out of that is it pushed her to do better. She became a better pitcher because she knew she had to strike girls out because balls on the ground would be an adventure and couldnt walk anyone because the ball would be thrown around and they would score.

We did great due dilagence with her second team went to games, talked to people but eneded up making a mistake anyway - What we saw a coach who cared about his girls and was very good at coaching them was actualy a coach who was very good with "His Girls" and was not concerned about whoever els was on the team there were just a core of girls the rest were filler and the whole team treated her that way - This taught her to perservere ( Part of me wishes we would have left that team so she didnt have to put up with the crap she did - But we were all about filling our comitment - I'm thinking even though it sucked for her she played through and got better so it was probably a good thing)

The next couple of years we were with the same organization with a middeling team and that was OK she liked most of the girls she got a lot of circle time.

Shes with a better team now so we'll see how this year goes.

So Overall - I dont think I would change anything - I wish the road was easier but I think in all, the path has made her a pretty good person and thats really the goal

 

[coachjwb]

I have mixed feelings on the slowpitch thing ... my daughter loved it and actually played 2 years in the ASA A Slowpitch Nationals down south including in the Olympic stadium in GA, her 12U year finishing 5th in the nation. She had a great time, made good friends, and learned a lot about fielding, baserunning and some of the mental parts of the game. But we probably should have done more like Cobb in playing both at the same time, at least getting started in the fastpitch game, because it then took us till she was 15 to really understand the whole fastpitch scene. Even so, the memories are great, and if I could really do something/anything over again, it would actually be to relive them all.

 

[wow]

I have to say I am disappointed to see all the regrets of so much time invested in softball. That's surprises me. My one complaint is not starting mine earlier. I love to see the 07 and 08 teams popping up. How cool would it be to add more years? I don't think I would want less, but then again its not about what I wanted, was it? The girls who love this sport will tell you they want to play all the time, while your biggest concern is encouraging them to do other things, not mandating it. We all spend so much time around the game and have forged relationships I cant see wanting to it less.

There was not a lot going on in slowpitch, where we started, so that was kinda a waste. Would not want to do that over.

HS ball is the one I struggle with. At the early year 9th, especially, I think playing high level travel ball is more productive then JV. After that its just social hour really, unless you are in a program who competes for state championships.

 

[Hilliarddad3]

I would change the way I viewed the games and have learned to relax and enjoy them doing what they loved to do. Sit back, catch the sun, meet great people on all teams and realize it's only a snippet of time that goes too fast. We get so caught up in the bad calls making asses out of ourselves with the first one playing, then with the others, it's a total different look, feel and enjoyment......

Would definitely have them do the travel circuit again, but for that reason alone and not chase a scholarship..... In the end that didn't matter as the schools that offered one of them money, didn't have her major, so she said why bother? And went to the school of her choice for Radiology and is living a happy life at Tampa General......

Don't chase the golden ring for that sole purpose, your little girls are only little for so long and you want them to remember you for their support in whatever they choose, not to be remembered as the a$$ at the field.......

 

[yossarian]

This is a terrific thread.

We're only a couple years into the travel ball experience so I'm not sure I can say what I would do differently. I can say what I would not do differently ? we've been in a bad situation with the wrong team in which most of the team dissolved due to bad relations with the coaches. In both cases, we fulfilled our commitments and left in the hopes we would land somewhere great, which we did. So my two cents advice is, don't be afraid to leave after your commitments are fulfilled for fear of not knowing if there is something better out there for your daughter/family.

It'll work out!

 

[tankerlab]

I would of had my dd play up both years of 14 U to 16 U.. Because 16 U gets most college looks...but it all worked out anyway... Still got 2 more years of high school ball till off to play next level.

 

[Pacerdad57]

True dat yossarian! We had the same kind of experience our 1st year of travel ball with one of the absolutely the worst daddy ball team ever! 4 dads with their 4 kids, was terrible.
And you're correct, there is always a better fit out there somewhere,'it sometimes just takes a little time to find em.
I know the DD so happy now, it was worth the time and effort to see that smile in the circle.

 

[Dawgsdad]

I wish I put my oldest into softball instead of competitive cheerleading and got a head start for my youngest since they are 6 years apart. I was definitely to hard on her in her beginning days but now she is much more knowledgeable than most in game awareness. Overall, enjoy every day I get to be part of her softball journey. Never wasted any of my spare time with her on a ball field, it was all worth it.

 

[wvanalmsick]

We were blessed in the teams and organizations that we were with. Absolutely no complaints there. I helped coach the teams but I made it clear that I would not coach my DD, who was primarily a catcher. Probably the best decision. It made those car rides home a lot more enjoyable. Actually, we never talked about the games unless she brought it up.

The one thing that I would change is the "win at all costs" mentality that all of us parents have at the 10U and 12U ages. Yep, I had it too. Then at 14U, I realized that what all of the girls on those 10U and 12U teams needed, in addition to the good competition that they were already playing against, was more repetitions (Playing time). Even if it means that there will be games that will be lost.

 

[wow]

The one thing that I would change is the "win at all costs" mentality that all of us parents have at the 10U and 12U ages. Yep, I had it too. Then at 14U, I realized that what all of the girls on those 10U and 12U teams needed, in addition to the good competition that they were already playing against, was more repetitions (Playing time). Even if it means that there will be games that will be lost.

I think we all felt like this at the younger ages, that's why we brought our daughters to travel ball. Then we grew up and realized 10 and 12U was not the end, rather the beginning of the journey. Great call out sir!

The funny thing is I would love to purpose the same question to our kids and them respond about what they would change? I bet its not the same stuff we talk about as parents!

 

[All-4-thegirls]

I would have invested in a good chair and cooler at 10u so that I didn't have to shop for a new one every year