When Do You Change Teams?

[default]

Just 4 weeks left this year anyway, play hard and more doors will be opened for her in August.

 

[default]

Unfortunetly your story is not uncommon. It is ashame how a game can bring about the worst in people. Especially parents.....

My advice.....

Stay positive in front of your DD

Be very careful of what you say and who you say it to.....I have found that you just cant trust everyone.......

When the season is over, ask yourself one thing. Whats the best for your DD.

I understand your position. I really do.

Good Luck!

Very well said Irishdad, and amen.

 

[default]

finish your season and look at possible teams that are playing where you are. See the interaction between the coaches, girls, the parents and see if it looks like something you may want. Are they smiling? are they playing fundamentally sound? How are their warm ups? Are the girls engaged even on the bench?

But wait until your current year is over to move if you are...

 

[default]

First, let me preface this by saying neither of my dd's have left a team mid season. We have always finished our commitments. With that being said, I am not sure that the whole commitment thing is something that should just be aimed at only the players. I have seen many teams make promises to players and not deliver. Aren't those broken commitments? So many posts about teaching our kids about commitment...How about explaining to the player, well your team wasn't honest about how they would treat you as a player so we need to look somewhere else?! Isn't that a possibility?

I kept my dd on a team last season that looking back we should've left that team in mid June. If I had it all to do over again, we would be gone. I still think I kept my kid in a horrible situation that I could've changed. I don't ever want her to think commitment is more important than her. We've talked a lot about the situation and I am convinced I handled it all wrong.

I believe you wait until the season is over to change teams, under most circumstances. Although I do believe there are some circumstances that give just cause to leave a team immediately.

Commitment and honesty works both ways....

 

[default]

First, let me preface this by saying neither of my dd's have left a team mid season. We have always finished our commitments. With that being said, I am not sure that the whole commitment thing is something that should just be aimed at only the players. I have seen many teams make promises to players and not deliver. Aren't those broken commitments? So many posts about teaching our kids about commitment...How about explaining to the player, well your team wasn't honest about how they would treat you as a player so we need to look somewhere else?! Isn't that a possibility?

I kept my dd on a team last season that looking back we should've left that team in mid June. If I had it all to do over again, we would be gone. I still think I kept my kid in a horrible situation that I could've changed. I don't ever want her to think commitment is more important than her. We've talked a lot about the situation and I am convinced I handled it all wrong.

I believe you wait until the season is over to change teams, under most circumstances. Although I do believe there are some circumstances that give just cause to leave a team immediately.

Commitment and honesty works both ways....

Yep I would agree

 

[default]

Finish the season.
Do what in the best interests of your daughter regarding play time & psyche.

• Why be on the best team if she never gets much play time .....
• Will she be happy on this team .....
• Do the coaches coach or just place blame ....
• Its along summer if its a bad choice .....
• Ask your daughter they are smarted then us sometimes ....

:yahoo:

 

[default]

rcpae..........The same thing happened to me this season. I have never let my kids go back on a committment....until now. There were some extreme circumstances going on. We were invited to be on another team after we left, and what a wonderful fit!!! For her and the entire family! :yahoo:

 

[default]

First, let me preface this by saying neither of my dd's have left a team mid season. We have always finished our commitments. With that being said, I am not sure that the whole commitment thing is something that should just be aimed at only the players. I have seen many teams make promises to players and not deliver. Aren't those broken commitments? So many posts about teaching our kids about commitment...How about explaining to the player, well your team wasn't honest about how they would treat you as a player so we need to look somewhere else?! Isn't that a possibility?

I kept my dd on a team last season that looking back we should've left that team in mid June. If I had it all to do over again, we would be gone. I still think I kept my kid in a horrible situation that I could've changed. I don't ever want her to think commitment is more important than her. We've talked a lot about the situation and I am convinced I handled it all wrong.

I believe you wait until the season is over to change teams, under most circumstances. Although I do believe there are some circumstances that give just cause to leave a team immediately.

Commitment and honesty works both ways....

That was very well said and you bring up an interesting point....Do organizations ever view the situation from this perspective? Or are they unaware because families leave the team without saying anything? I wonder if organization knew--would they change anything to improve the experience for the player and increase player retention?

 

[default]

I work with a lot of kids so I hear the stories about the Good, the Bad and the you have got to kidding me that coach did what?

Each situation has two sides to the story and sometimes I do get both sides and when you see a pattern over years you know what to expect from even some organizations as well as who runs them or from the parents thinking the grass is always greener on the other side and that their kid is the next fast pitch prodigy.

What was promised did not or has not happened and in some situations you see a coaches daughter given special considerations or a sponsors child being treated different....we see this in life also and in the justice system and nothing is perfect!

We see a coach throw a fit and scream at the umpires and kick bats around and then when a player does it you see the same coach trying to teach a life lesson to a player that throws their helmet or glove...this is like Sweet Lou teaching an anger management class as he would not have any credibility based on his past performance so neither does the coach trying to give the life lesson in my opinion.

All the teams want you to sign a contract for this or that and then you see or read about a pro player not wanting to play for the salary or terms agreed to and he wants to re negotiate his contract. When the team or coach does not live up to their end for what is in the contract then your situation in my opinion will determine if you stay and play out the rest of the season also.

IF the situation is mentally or verbally abusive get your kid out of that environment as I have seen the results from you the parent trying to teach commitment lessons and the results are ugly! You have to balance out what is being taught and your child's maturity level to learn from the situation you are dealing with and quite frankly some of the parents are worse or as bad as the coaches...it could be decided with a coin toss just as easily and with less stress on all the parties involved.

Sometimes we try and use sports as life and death struggles or teaching life lessons and the kids just want to have fun. You may have signed up with a team that wants you to play at a certain level and practice year round and if you don't and you agreed to it is your fault when she gets benched for going to cheer leading camp or AAU basketball clinics or you want to go on vacation and that puts pressure on the team as your kid leads the team in RBI's or is our go to pitcher and you let the team down as a parent not a player however she will be made the example of.

It is a two way street (you decide the direction) and you need to understand clearly when shopping for teams what is expected of you, your daughter and what you expect from the team or organization. Talk to other parents about the coaches and see if your daughter could play for a person like Sweet Lou or would rather play for Joe Torre or someone like Billy Martin!:lmao:

 

[default]

I strongly believe that there are circumstances when it is in the best interest of all involved to leave a team. As a coach I understand and expect the same level of commitment from my players and families as I do from myself. But we are dealing with young girls, young women.

RCPAE gave a great personal example. Commitment to a team...yes. Commitment to DD...ABSOLUTELY!!!

We are doing our very best to teach our dd's to be strong, independent women. We will hear both sides of a story, but stand by our dd's perception of a situation. Girls are raised to be people pleasers. When they tell you about a situation, you can bet there has been alot already going on before. By the time it gets to parents, she has already internalized it and is looking for parents to help her out of a situation. Again, there are times when she needs to be rescued, to know parents put her needs and health before a team.

There are tons of great coaches out there who put together wonderful teams that grow to be a family. But there are also coaches and players who yell, belittle, insult, lie, and torment. We have all seen them and heard the stories.

DD's need to know there are situations that are unacceptable. This will make her stronger in the long run. She will feel stronger to walk away from her abusive boyfriend, say no to the guy pressuring her to have sex, turn away from friends doing drugs, turn in the boss who is sexually harassing her...the list could go on. This goes way beyond summer softball.

I really believe that there are times when "your commitment to the team" should be superceeded by "we are committed to you."

 

[default]

So true Marty! every bit of it. I have always believed in expecting my dd to follow thru with her commitments but there have been times that I have let her walk away b/c of the negativity. I want my dd to be Honest, Respectful and Loyal to those around her and if I feel she is not getting that it return I will and have removed her from that environment.

 

[default]

Being a "guest player" without the head coaches blessing was against our rules. We treated it like HS ball - play for YOUR team, and YOUR TEAM only during the season. After your team finishes their season (usually after the Nationals) all players should be released. Then you are free to do as you wish. Never had any conflicts or problems doing it that way. You can scope other teams without actually playing for them.

Sammy; the head coach has brought it up each time about being a guest player saying that he wants his best players to continue to play when the team doesn't have anything scheduled.

 

[default]

So true Marty! every bit of it. I have always believed in expecting my dd to follow thru with her commitments but there have been times that I have let her walk away b/c of the negativity. I want my dd to be Honest, Respectful and Loyal to those around her and if I feel she is not getting that it return I will and have removed her from that environment.

Very well spoken Macsmom.

 

[default]

When do you change teams?

1. You change teams when you believe the philosophy of the team leaders (coaches) has very little to do with your daughter's development as a player.

2. You change teams when you believe the coaches are blowing games by putting players (usually their own daughters) in the wrong positions on the field and in the batting order.

3. You change teams when your current team seems like a dead end.

 

[default]

Thank you Martee! Leaving a team is always a difficult decision to make, especially when there are extreme circumstances and much speculation w/o facts. May we ALWAYS honor the committment to protect our DD's before anyone or anything!

 

[default]

Your Kid comes first pd. Life is short and you only have so many years watching them play and love softball. My first played the game and it went very fast, she loved every minute of it. . My youngest started early as a Ball girl at 4. She loves it, but loves all the friends she has made over the years. It is her fourth team and she has subbed for many. . We have been lucky only one bad experience in all those years. As a coach you don't want to put time and effort into training a kid and then watch them leave, but as a parent you understand. I have found out the kid makes a better decision than we do at times. If they want to leave a team, it is past time to leave. Many friends have posted above. The part of learning who the parents are and how they act around the softball field is so important. If that is bad it ruins the experience for all. Take time to find the right team and group of parents and coaches and your kid will really enjoy this great game.

 

[default]

Thank you for the insight, Truth.

 

[default]

I think she should switch teams.