Where do we draw the line or is there no line?

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Ok "devils advocate....what do you mean by not the right fit?....I guess it depends but unless my daughter was in harms way or being verbally abused by players or coaches I feel that I would make her stick it out. That is where the research comes in. With our team we met all the prospective parents, coaches, players before any commitment was made. That is just how our organization did things. I do understand that you said both teams would be ok if she left but what is that teaching her? I personally feel it would be fine to offer a tryout for the next season. As long as it is done in a tactful way not to make her or her parents feel you are trying to get her to leave mid-season or even to fill in. But no one should feel threatened by your offer. If she is happy where she is at her filling in will not be an issue and if she isn't interested in a tryout she just doesn't come. But as a coach I don't think I would want a player who jumped ship mid-season because who's to say she isn't going to do it again?

 

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Bottom line - players (actually parents) bolting mid-season will never stop. Coaches recruiting mid season will never stop. The lucky ones - parents, players and coaches - find a nice, cohesive team where the talent level between players is similar, work ethic is similar, and all the parents have the same ideals. It's no wonder there are problems, when you consider the mix of values within some teams. Some players bust their butts and work their tail off to get better, and others honestly are there just for the social time. If your DD is one of those workers, she'll easily be able to tell you who the slackers are.

Actually, I would take it as a compliment if another coach approached my DD during a tournament and tried to recruit her to his team. In our case, there was never a question about loyalty - we had committed for the season, and that was final. If your DD is ever recruited in that fashion, an easy and honest answer would be "Thanks for your invitiation, but I'm currently committed to THIS team, but I'll consider your offer as an invitation to attend your tryouts in the fall." Simple, honest, and to the point.

As for parents and players jumping ship mid-season, good riddance. If they want to go, let them. As has been stated, if you give them a hard time, it's your team that will suffer. As a coach, cut your losses, and try to do a little more investigative research into those red flags before accepting a questionable family. They've probably burned another team before.

Good discussion, but I really don't see getting too bent out of shape about either situation. As a parent, have your DD work hard at her game, look long and hard for a good team fit for her, and if you're a reasonable, ethical person, the rest will take care of itself.

 

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so the way it sounds here... there is a 4 week span from august 8th til september 6th that a girl and parents, go on vacation, shop for school clothes, spend some time at the pool, go to school, work on their myspace, maybe volley ball tryouts or cross country, see some football games, have a gutiar hero party, hang out with her friends on a Saturday night, HOME COMING DRESSES AGH!!! and

go to 14 softball tryouts and make a decision that she has sto stick with for the next 11 months, 1 week and 3 days until she can do it all over again..

when exactly is off season?

here is the bright side

As they get older 16u- 18u - the girls(not parents) take their time deciding. Us coaches have mellowed out a bit and we know that we'll end up with a full roster of quality players by June. And if we can throw together a team of players to do some showcases and winter tournaments thats great. And when we see all the girls working out for the college coaches, and signing letters and making committments - whether they played for you, used to play for you or only played against you - you can be proud that maybe, just maybe, you had something to do with it. And if you did it right, the girls will say "Hey coach" when they see you. And the world will be right.

 

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.....
Personally, I think no girl can be "taken" from a team that don't want to be. If she is truly happy, no coach or team in the world is going to lure them away. ?So if a coach approaches a player already committed to a team and "steals" her, did the original team really lose anything anyway? ?More than likely, it wasn't the girl that was unhappy, it was the parents. ?.....

This says it all, plain and simple.

 

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so the way it sounds here... ?there is a 4 week span from august 8th til september 6th that a girl and parents, go on vacation, shop for school clothes, spend some time at the pool, go to school, work on their myspace, maybe volley ball tryouts or cross country, see some football games, have a gutiar hero party, hang out with her friends on a Saturday night, HOME COMING DRESSES AGH!!! ?and

geez, Dave were you talking about my DD! haha
although, i was schooled last night on x-box live guitar hero, probably by a 6 year old...

 

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I'm not sure what I would define as not a good fit as I've never experienced a situation so bad that we quit before the season started or left before it ended. I guess you would have to run your own worst scenario. I dont think talent level would be a good excuse because if you went to try outs you should have seen what the coach had to pick from. Also as was stated there are nine months to work on it. I was just throwing it out there for discussion. I do know someone who left mid season once. Thier daughter (who went to every practice and had talent) was only playing about four innings a tourney.I guess I probably would have done the same thing. My daughter has been approached by other coaches but its always been very casual and shes never been asked to dump her team mid season.It's usually something like (If things dont work out with her team we would be glad to take a look at her).We always thank them and assure them were happy where we are and go back to what we were doing.It is nice that her hard work and play are being recognized RE: coaches make sure you pass out warm fuzzies. Other than that I would say Sammy put the nail in this one.

 

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If you aren't sure if you can make it a whole year with a team then why go at all? You will be better off staying home and not playing at all. And as it has been said it is usually the parents who make the decision to bolt especially mid-season. Ok lets say 13 y.o. Little Suzie Perfect is in Mr. So and So's class. She comes home everyday whining Mommy, Daddy I just don't like Mr. So and So he thinks that Mary is better at algebra than me so she has first seat at the math competition. Do you call the school complaining that Mr or Mrs. So and So is treating my Suzie like the perfect mathmatician that I know she is. You need to move her to another classroom. How often does that happen? The childs teacher is something that you have little or know choice in and it is going to impact your child way more than softball and also you just have to stick it out for 9 months, but 5 full days a week. With a team you have the total choice to either go or look around (prior to committing).

Another side of this for those of you who condone quitting because it is a long commitment for the child.....ok say it is now January and you are a coach you have played fall ball practiced a couple times and decide that it isn't the right fit for you.....so you quit and go to another organization.....how would that be looked at?

I still say trust your gut feelings and do your research. We checked every aspect of this team we are with out. Last year Mo was brought on into fall ball. We played all fall before she was offered an actual position so we had a good feel of what to expect. No it wasn't what we wanted for her for years to come. But it helped us both, they needed a player and we needed a start into the travel ball world.They just didn't offer the guidance for her position that we found this year. I met all the ocaches, Mo met the other players, coaches and I met most of the parents before we said yes. We talked about what we wanted out of the team, what the coaches were looking at, what the coaches intentions with her were. We had a full team practice before anyone was expected to be committed. If every team did these things less girls (parents) would be unhappy with their decisions because they would have a good feel of what to expect for the season to come.

 

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From everything Ive seen,heard, and learned about travel tournament ball over the past 3 years Ive came to one major conclusion.......
There are more twist,turns and story lines in travel ball than there is in a season worth of the show Prison Break!
All makes for good reading and thinking during the winter months while it is cold and snowy out.

 

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Right on Hillbilly. (btw I just figured out what IMHO and JMHO stand for BAISLO) ;D

 

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You sure can tell the season is close at hand!! ;D This is about the time this topic begins again!!

In many past posts I have commented on this. This is my soap box issue. I took my dd to many, many, tryouts. She was offered positions on all of the teams she tried out for. We waited awhile to actually commit to a team. Had lots of talks with lots of coaches. It totally comes down to what you are looking for in a team and a coach. We found a coach that was willing to coach a group of very athletic girls who wanted to play softball. We have no need or desire to jump ship this year, or try out for another team next year. We already know that because we found the situation we wanted. Parents need to do their homework!! Don't commit until you know the situation is the right one for you dd.

We learned the hard way. Had a truly bad year with a different team last year. We stayed and learned a valuable lesson. We did not make that mistake again this year. The grass really isn't greener people. It just gives back what you put in. Give it the right fertilizer and the grass on your side will be just as green.