Really???in the middle of the season???

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Wondering how parents have the nerve to tell a coach AND a team, that they've decided to jump ship in the middle of the season because(I'm assuming this)they want to be on a team that is going to college showcase tournaments. This is the 2nd girl who has jumped ship. At least the 1st parent had the decency to do it before the season started! This is so irritating. Here are my husband and I trying to teach our DD about commitment and responsibility and then these other parents feel that it's OK to leave a team high and dry. Are we the greatest team there is in summer ball?? By far not. We have a very young team. They, however, are probably the best bunch of girls and this is the first season that my DD likes everyone on her team. My DD has been on the bench this entire season due to an injury and goes to every tournament and game to cheer her teammates on. This was the only player we had at this position due to other injuries. I think this is a load of garbage and parents know at the beginning of the season what tournaments they are going to. We were told at try-outs that this team probably wasn't going to showcase tournaments due to it being a new team. I'm sure there will be people/coaches out there going to play the devil's advocate or try to give me good reasons to do this. You won't convince me. Someone's going to say, until you're in their shoes...well we were in their shoes last summer and chose to stay with the team we committed to. I think it's wrong.

 

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My husband & I are also teaching our DD that a commitment is to be honored & you finish what you start. We actually had a potential opportunity to "jump ship" to go to an organization that my DD would love to be part of, but because of what we have taught her since she was 6 years old, she knew that she must honor her commitment to her current team. She is still having fun, was flattered to be considered, but is proud to have honored her commitment. A person is only as good as her word

 

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I think it is totally wrong to say honor your commitment no matter what. It is a two way street. It's saying a coach or team can do whatever they want AFTER you commit and your stuck. BS. There is more to it than the schedule. How you practice, the commitment to improving, to winning, player drama being tolerated, parent drama being tolerated, drinking, cursing, disrespect to others and on and on. Two sides to every story. In the case of this thread starter maybe the player was wrong to leave but who can say hearing only one side. I wouldn't stay on a team that the coach lied and mislead us to get us to commit and I'm not saying that is the case here but it isn't a carte blanche your stuck no mater what. It's more you shouldn't leave without good reason. And "good" is very debatable. Me thinks.

 

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I think it is totally wrong to say honor your commitment no matter what. It is a two way street. It's saying a coach or team can do whatever they want AFTER you commit and your stuck. BS. There is more to it than the schedule. How you practice, the commitment to improving, to winning, player drama being tolerated, parent drama being tolerated, drinking, cursing, disrespect to others and on and on. Two sides to every story. In the case of this thread starter maybe the player was wrong to leave but who can say hearing only one side. I wouldn't stay on a team that the coach lied and mislead us to get us to commit and I'm not saying that is the case here but it isn't a carte blanche your stuck no mater what. It's more you shouldn't leave without good reason. And "good" is very debatable. Me thinks.

I agree. I would leave if there was lying involved or any of the inappropriate behavior mentioned. We were all told straight up what types of tournaments we would be playing. You're right, this is only my side. As far as drama or anything, we've never seen it. This is the first team we've been on that we haven't seen the drama. Again, this is our side, but still doesn't alleviate the frustration that goes along with it.

 

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I'm going to agree with Musty on this one. There are so many variables. I will say however, that if the only reason someone is leaving is if you feel the grass may be greener somewhere else, then that is a horse of a different color.

 

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My husband & I are also teaching our DD that a commitment is to be honored & you finish what you start. We actually had a potential opportunity to "jump ship" to go to an organization that my DD would love to be part of, but because of what we have taught her since she was 6 years old, she knew that she must honor her commitment to her current team. She is still having fun, was flattered to be considered, but is proud to have honored her commitment. A person is only as good as her word

"Commitment is to be honored and you finish what you start" -- EXACTLY!

It has happened to us two consecutive years. I am sure there are unique situations out there where a DD or parent has to do what they have to do. When you lose a big bat or a key position like cather or pitcher it is tough to absorb. When you lose a "negative attitude", it is sometimes a blessing.

 

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I think it is totally wrong to say honor your commitment no matter what. It is a two way street. It's saying a coach or team can do whatever they want AFTER you commit and your stuck. BS. There is more to it than the schedule. How you practice, the commitment to improving, to winning, player drama being tolerated, parent drama being tolerated, drinking, cursing, disrespect to others and on and on. Two sides to every story. In the case of this thread starter maybe the player was wrong to leave but who can say hearing only one side. I wouldn't stay on a team that the coach lied and mislead us to get us to commit and I'm not saying that is the case here but it isn't a carte blanche your stuck no mater what. It's more you shouldn't leave without good reason. And "good" is very debatable. Me thinks.

I agree with Musty on this.

 

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Heard the best story this week about college exposure showcases. Team from MN went out to east coast (Pennsylvania??) played in exposure tournament and college coaches approached coach and asked to talk to any players that would be willing to come out east to go to school (because suprise suprise when you go to an eastern college showcase most of the coaches will be from east coast schools) only two of the players on the team were even willing to consider that.

So for the other 10 players on the team. What was the point of going to the tournament?? Apparently there was a parental epihany in the stands after this about the relative worth of traveling 16 hours by car to attend a showcase where most of the kids would be seen but have no interest in talking to the people that were seeing them.

 

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I think it is commendable to teach your kids to make a commitment and stick with it. Starting with teams and just hopping to different teams definitely sends a bad message. As with all things, there is always another side to it. If the team is not delivering on promises that attracted you to the team in the first place, sticking with it anyway sends an equally bad message. The players and ultimately the parents are the consumers here. If you go to McDonalds and order a large coffee smoothie shake for $3 and they give you a $1 small sprite, do you just bow your head and be thankful you received the sprite? As with all things it is a balancing act one way or the other, but that's why we are the parents and we have to make the best decisions we can for our kids...

 

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There are acceptable reasons to leave a team mid season but not attending the tournaments that 1 parent thinks the team should be going to is not a reasonable excuse. You are not only letting down your teammates who have come to depend on you, but you are throwing up some serious red flags for any team that you tryout for in the future. As a coach, I try to avoid the team jumpers like the plague!! When a girl has been on 5-6 teams in 2 years, there is usually a reason and I don't want to be the next in line to deal with it.

 

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There are acceptable reasons to leave a team mid season but not attending the tournaments that 1 parent thinks the team should be going to is not a reasonable excuse. You are not only letting down your teammates who have come to depend on you, but you are throwing up some serious red flags for any team that you tryout for in the future. As a coach, I try to avoid the team jumpers like the plague!! When a girl has been on 5-6 teams in 2 years, there is usually a reason and I don't want to be the next in line to deal with it.

Amen Sister

 

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There are acceptable reasons to leave a team mid season but not attending the tournaments that 1 parent thinks the team should be going to is not a reasonable excuse. You are not only letting down your teammates who have come to depend on you, but you are throwing up some serious red flags for any team that you tryout for in the future. As a coach, I try to avoid the team jumpers like the plague!! When a girl has been on 5-6 teams in 2 years, there is usually a reason and I don't want to be the next in line to deal with it.

Right on Klump! The original post states that kids left to play in
Tournaments that they either didn't get accepted to or chose not to
Play in. I'm guessing everyone knew the schedule a head of time.

Not cool!

 

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We have and will continue to honor commitments to a team. I agree in principal but in reality we probably should have jumped to other opportunities. We have wasted two years by being on the wrong teams. On both occasions neither team honored their commitments to my dd.

The 1st team had 5 quality pitchers of which they only used 2 even at College Showcases and even when the golden two were injured, they still pitched. This had nothing to do with quality of the players; of the three benched pitchers one is pitching at a D3 Program, one is verbaled at a D1 and the last is heading to a D2 program, obviously quality players. Yet we stayed.....

The next year we were more careful and moved to a team with only 3 pitchers and a coach that had an excellent reputation. They then added a new assistant coach that just happened to have a dd Pitcher and a dd DH/1B. Our last tournament saw that pitcher take 30 of the 37 innings and featured a parental shouting match that summed up our season of frustration. We also finished out that season.

What did my dd learn? She didn't learn to pitch...... She wasn't allowed to be game tested. She did learn to be more careful in giving her word. She has a lot of work to do to make up these summers of lost opportunity. That time can not be refunded. Promises were made and not kept.

We should have left both teams when the actual operating rules became obvious. Saying that goes against every fiber of my being but in retrospect that was the proper course to have followed. The bait and switch that was used by both teams made those summers lost and her progress negligible.

(She is currently on a team that has two healthy pitchers and is getting some 20+/- innings a weekend and finally learning to pitch on a team that is playing hard, working hard and having fun. This is a much better summer)

 

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There are acceptable reasons to leave a team mid season but not attending the tournaments that 1 parent thinks the team should be going to is not a reasonable excuse. You are not only letting down your teammates who have come to depend on you, but you are throwing up some serious red flags for any team that you tryout for in the future. As a coach, I try to avoid the team jumpers like the plague!! When a girl has been on 5-6 teams in 2 years, there is usually a reason and I don't want to be the next in line to deal with it.

Right on Klump.
Its usually because there parents think they are better than they are....have had a jumper that thinks no one can touch her on the mound....well the other girls grew up around her and she hasnt improved so they are beating the **** out of her pitches now...I love it!!!

 

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We have and will continue to honor commitments to a team. I agree in principal but in reality we probably should have jumped to other opportunities. We have wasted two years by being on the wrong teams. On both occasions neither team honored their commitments to my dd.

The 1st team had 5 quality pitchers of which they only used 2 even at College Showcases and even when the golden two were injured, they still pitched. This had nothing to do with quality of the players; of the three benched pitchers one is pitching at a D3 Program, one is verbaled at a D1 and the last is heading to a D2 program, obviously quality players. Yet we stayed.....

The next year we were more careful and moved to a team with only 3 pitchers and a coach that had an excellent reputation. They then added a new assistant coach that just happened to have a dd Pitcher and a dd DH/1B. Our last tournament saw that pitcher take 30 of the 37 innings and featured a parental shouting match that summed up our season of frustration. We also finished out that season.

What did my dd learn? She didn't learn to pitch...... She wasn't allowed to be game tested. She did learn to be more careful in giving her word. She has a lot of work to do to make up these summers of lost opportunity. That time can not be refunded. Promises were made and not kept.

We should have left both teams when the actual operating rules became obvious. Saying that goes against every fiber of my being but in retrospect that was the proper course to have followed. The bait and switch that was used by both teams made those summers lost and her progress negligible.

(She is currently on a team that has two healthy pitchers and is getting some 20+/- innings a weekend and finally learning to pitch on a team that is playing hard, working hard and having fun. This is a much better summer)

I agree with this. You only get a few short years in my opinion and wasting one or two is no good.

 

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Commitment is a thing of the past. The things I have witnessed in the 5 yrs of travel/2 hs just keep getting more shocking. I have seen players bail because they changed their minds. I have seen players leave a tournament because they were moved positions. I have seen parents scream and throw a fit because their child wasn't playing but when she was put in they yelled because she wasn't ready to go in. I have seen players play Sunday after being gone at another sport all weekend because they are the coaches dd and would throw a fit if they didnt start. I have seen a coach throw a kid under the bus so his dd could play over another player. In all those cases the parents let it happen. I have seen a$$ kissing beyond belief to ensure a child is a starter at a position. This is what our world is teaching our children. Glad to say I will not partake in any of those behaviors. I have a 16 yr who is learning that life doesn't always hand you roses and that you just have to make the best of it. When your commitment is done then you re-evaluate and make appropriate decision. These decisions lead to the same kind of decisions later in life...I have dealt with adults who were allowed to make decisions like this as a child and they make the same decisions as adults and their children are the ones who suffer and the cycle goes on and on...

 

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Loyaltly is a two way street! If you expect your players to show loyalty to their teammates and coach then by all means the coach needs to keep their word to their players as well....You tell a kid " Your my starting center fielder if you come play for me" Then coach needs to keep his or her word! It takes Loyalty to get it in return....

 

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Well, this particular girl played her position and played every game and was one of the best players on the team. Found out over the weekend that she was approached by another coach of a big name organization because they had a player down. Wrong thing to do both ways IMHO. Funny thing is...they're not winning that much either!

 

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Hi Klump, How would you respond if your daughter was the pictcher and her infielders made 5 errors in the first inning? A piece of cake double play ball booted by the shortstop and nobody on second was the most outrageous. Topping it off was a long fly into the outfield right in the glove of the center fielder. Bloop, onto the ground. This is fairly routine. I went over to the opposing scorekeeper after the inning and asked how many errors she booked in the first inning. She said there were so many she quit keeping track. Softball like that stinks.

 

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Hi Klump, How would you respond if your daughter was the pictcher and her infielders made 5 errors in the first inning? A piece of cake double play ball booted by the shortstop and nobody on second was the most outrageous. Topping it off was a long fly into the outfield right in the glove of the center fielder. Bloop, onto the ground. This is fairly routine. I went over to the opposing scorekeeper after the inning and asked how many errors she booked in the first inning. She said there were so many she quit keeping track. Softball like that stinks.

Hi JBennett53. My dd is a pitcher and she has been in the circle both while her defense is on fire and also when they were absolutely not. ALL teams make errors, the more you prepare the less errors your team will make. But instead of pointing the fingers at each other and causing drama that will destroy the team, go out and practice more and then the girls will make less errors. I always tell my dd when that is happening and she is pitching, QUIT THROWING THE MEATBALLS OVER THE PLATE AND IT WOULD CERTAINLY HELP THE CAUSE!!!! The pitcher is part of the team too and is just as responsible as everyone else.