Really???in the middle of the season???

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Loyaltly is a two way street! If you expect your players to show loyalty to their teammates and coach then by all means the coach needs to keep their word to their players as well....You tell a kid " Your my starting center fielder if you come play for me" Then coach needs to keep his or her word! It takes Loyalty to get it in return....

That may of been the coaches thought. But did the coach have to move her to a new postion to better the team. Or did this starting center fielder not work hard in the off season or during the season on her own to get better and better, maybe someone was playing better then her. I am guessing that he moved players to the best spots he could to better the team, or this girl did not live upto her expectations.

 

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Hi Klump, Not really finger pointing. Just tired. I would like to see you coach this team and then make such a mushy response.

 

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There are acceptable reasons to leave a team mid season but not attending the tournaments that 1 parent thinks the team should be going to is not a reasonable excuse. You are not only letting down your teammates who have come to depend on you, but you are throwing up some serious red flags for any team that you tryout for in the future. As a coach, I try to avoid the team jumpers like the plague!! When a girl has been on 5-6 teams in 2 years, there is usually a reason and I don't want to be the next in line to deal with it.

Ditto on the Amen Sista!

 

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Loyaltly is a two way street! If you expect your players to show loyalty to their teammates and coach then by all means the coach needs to keep their word to their players as well....You tell a kid " Your my starting center fielder if you come play for me" Then coach needs to keep his or her word! It takes Loyalty to get it in return....

You tell a kid "you're my starting center fielder" with no conditions at all and you are one inexperienced, naive, or incredibly manipulative coach. The team's best interest has to prevail; players have to be accountable and competition has to be acknowledged for all positions. If a coach did indeed make such a blanket commitment, then I guess I agree that the player has grounds to leave when she doesn't start every game as center fielder. But, again, I don't think there are many coaches who would make such an unconditional promise. And I think it is incumbent upon players and their families to recognize, whatever the coach said, that the interest of the team prevails, that some players will go through slumps, that other players will make marked improvement, and that defensive positions are not determined without reference to offensive production. So I guess that I also think that if a player and her parents believe such a blanket, unconditional promise, they are also inexperienced and naive.

 

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Hi Klump, Not really finger pointing. Just tired. I would like to see you coach this team and then make such a mushy response.

Ask the girls on my team how mushy I am....:lmao::lmao::lmao: My girls were error riddled last year as new 12u's but we worked hard all year with drills and reps and now we are much more solid on the field. You have to make them better, they don't just get better with age.

 

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There are acceptable reasons to leave a team mid season but not attending the tournaments that 1 parent thinks the team should be going to is not a reasonable excuse. You are not only letting down your teammates who have come to depend on you, but you are throwing up some serious red flags for any team that you tryout for in the future. As a coach, I try to avoid the team jumpers like the plague!! When a girl has been on 5-6 teams in 2 years, there is usually a reason and I don't want to be the next in line to deal with it.

Klump, I could not agree more. Team Jumpers are all over the place, but not something that I want for our team.

 

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You tell a kid "you're my starting center fielder" with no conditions at all and you are one inexperienced, naive, or incredibly manipulative coach. The team's best interest has to prevail; players have to be accountable and competition has to be acknowledged for all positions. If a coach did indeed make such a blanket commitment, then I guess I agree that the player has grounds to leave when she doesn't start every game as center fielder. But, again, I don't think there are many coaches who would make such an unconditional promise. And I think it is incumbent upon players and their families to recognize, whatever the coach said, that the interest of the team prevails, that some players will go through slumps, that other players will make marked improvement, and that defensive positions are not determined without reference to offensive production. So I guess that I also think that if a player and her parents believe such a blanket, unconditional promise, they are also inexperienced and naive.

Agreed Cgs! After 7 years we should know better then to take the words (promises) to heart...also agree situations on teams change however in our case our center fielder and left fielder were both pretty equal in ability. Both had good games, both had not so good. Losing our starting pitcher prior to season starting made it a bit hard on all of our outfielders this season! However Centerfielder was first on team and she felt kinda leward in by promises. I would never let her quit over a coaching decision such as splitting her fielding time in center but It certainly will make us think twice in the future about taking a coaches word..

 

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Agreed Cgs! After 7 years we should know better then to take the words (promises) to heart...also agree situations on teams change however in our case our center fielder and left fielder were both pretty equal in ability. Both had good games, both had not so good. Losing our starting pitcher prior to season starting made it a bit hard on all of our outfielders this season! However Centerfielder was first on team and she felt kinda leward in by promises. I would never let her quit over a coaching decision such as splitting her fielding time in center but It certainly will make us think twice in the future about taking a coaches word..

I think sometimes, the parents tend to hear what they want to hear versus what the coach is actually telling them.

 

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Absolutely agree with mustohiofastpitch and Centerville FP. Both sides of this issue have extremely valid points. Realize though, that there are no "do-overs" in life. On one side some of you claim that you are trying to teach your dd's to honor commitment, even when they/you are mislead or have commitments not honored. Doesn't work that that way when you grow up! You can talk about honoring "commitment", but what about ACCOUNTABILTY! Wake up, this is the real world and if from at least 14U on you don't help them realize that, you are remiss as a parent. As a parent you need to put their best interest first because in the end they will also be parents...NOT softball players. If coaches mislead parents and players during tryouts or prior to the season just to build a team around their dd and then do not live up to that commitment, then they deserve whatever action a parent/player might take. Everyone seems to have a different interpretation of the saying "there is no I in TEAM"...coaches and parents alike. We are all human and all bias towards our dd's. It will always be that way. But remember, you cannot reverse time or get back that year for which you or your dd made a decision based on misleading info or circumstances that were changed after you committed and without your consent. Coaches who operate this way deserve to lose players. You as parents would not stand for it in real life, so why now. The parents and players are the consumer here and without them coaches, regardless of their knowledge and ability would not have a team. All parties need to be accountable.

In the end, the fact that this is a topic of discussion benefits all by bringing awareness and insight from both sides.


You can climb a hill and stand on top...or you can find a mountain and conquer it!

 

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On one side some of you claim that you are trying to teach your dd?s to honor commitment, even when they/you are mislead or have commitments not honored. Doesn?t work that that way when you grow up!

Wow, I wish I had grown up in the world that you described.

I recognize that your post is on the whole balanced and represents a legitimate and rational approach to travel ball as a "contract" between the player and the team (though I ultimately disagree with that approach), but I really differ with you about how things work in the adult work world.

 

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...travel ball as a "contract" between the player and the team (though I ultimately disagree with that approach),

I couldn't agree with you more, but some choose to try and do it that way!

 

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Absolutely agree with mustohiofastpitch and Centerville FP. Both sides of this issue have extremely valid points. Realize though, that there are no "do-overs" in life. On one side some of you claim that you are trying to teach your dd's to honor commitment, even when they/you are mislead or have commitments not honored. Doesn't work that that way when you grow up! You can talk about honoring "commitment", but what about ACCOUNTABILTY! Wake up, this is the real world and if from at least 14U on you don't help them realize that, you are remiss as a parent. As a parent you need to put their best interest first because in the end they will also be parents...NOT softball players. If coaches mislead parents and players during tryouts or prior to the season just to build a team around their dd and then do not live up to that commitment, then they deserve whatever action a parent/player might take. Everyone seems to have a different interpretation of the saying "there is no I in TEAM"...coaches and parents alike. We are all human and all bias towards our dd's. It will always be that way. But remember, you cannot reverse time or get back that year for which you or your dd made a decision based on misleading info or circumstances that were changed after you committed and without your consent. Coaches who operate this way deserve to lose players. You as parents would not stand for it in real life, so why now. The parents and players are the consumer here and without them coaches, regardless of their knowledge and ability would not have a team. All parties need to be accountable.

In the end, the fact that this is a topic of discussion benefits all by bringing awareness and insight from both sides.


You can climb a hill and stand on top...or you can find a mountain and conquer it!

Being misled and changing your mind are two different situations. I agree if you go into a situation and are told one thing and it is not even remotely being honored you have a right to be upset. But when you go into a situation with full knowledge and then leave because something better came along that is unfair to the rest of the team. That seems to be what the original poster is saying. But I have learned that some people over react and make not so great decisions in the heat of the moment because they feel their child was being slighted. When had they taken a moment to look at the situation and listen to what was being explained to the player they would have realized it wasn't what they thought it was at all.

 

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Ask the girls on my team how mushy I am....:lmao::lmao::lmao: My girls were error riddled last year as new 12u's but we worked hard all year with drills and reps and now we are much more solid on the field. You have to make them better, they don't just get better with age.

Sad to say but I think that time has run out. You complain about team jumpers but we have had nothing but bad luck since she started playing sports. A couple of decent coaches and teams but the rest has been a story from Dante. Maybe that's why you don't understand complainers. You are a good coach so there's nothing legit to complain about? Barring a peaceful slide beneath the waves I guess that we will remain but I am going to be really ticked if we drive 3 hours on Friday to a tourney with 5/6 players there.

 

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Ok. You are right, I don't understand complainers...there is always something YOU can do to better your situation. My dd's have had stinky coaches before, it happens to all of us. Tryout time is right around the corner, if you've been burned by bad coaching over and over I would think finding a good coach who sees talent in your dd would be the #1 thing on the top of your list when looking at teams to tryout for. Maybe your picker is off if you keep choosing teams that do not have the coaching you are looking for, focus on the coaching this year and maybe it won't be so miserable.

 

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​

When are parents going to see the whole picture and not just the snapshot
of there child. Coaches who are worth there salt will make decisions game
to game that they think will enable there team to have its best chance to
win. when did we as parents begin dehumanizing coaches and say things
about them or in posts or on facebook pages that damage there character
and integrity. When will we stop taking decisions personally and start
being supportive above all else. The real kicker here is that most kids just
want to play, the parents are the ones who throw a wrench into things.
Back in the day, you did what was asked and the coach or teacher or
administrator was considered in charge and if you didn't like what you saw
you would have your kid talk to the coach, and if that wasn't satisfactory
and you thought is was worth emabarassing your kid over then you would
go to the coach. To take your ball and go home because you think you are
wronged or try to damage someones character because you think you have
been wronged is not the lesson you want to teach your children. There is
no entitlement in this world, it is what you earn and we should be held
accountable to that. Getting back to the original post, if a player is recruited
as a pitcher and she goes out and gets shelled each time out should she
continue to get the same opportunities as the one who is not getting shelled.
I think as coaches, they all want kids to be happy where they are playing,
but to say someone promised a spot and then backed out on a promise after
that player played that position for 16 straight games and then the first time
they were moved the parent pulls the kid from a semifinal game that the kid
could have played in and helped the team. Give me a break, there was no trust bond broken here, only a poor decision made by an upset parent. Coaches in general want to be fair and do the right things by there players no
matter what sport we are talking about. If our sons or daughters are asked
to be a bench player or whether they are asked to be the number one pitcher
and clean up batter, they need to do what is asked and be about the team
and that is it!!!!!!!

 

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When are parents going to see the whole picture and not just the snapshot
of there child. Coaches who are worth there salt will make decisions game
to game that they think will enable there team to have its best chance to
win. when did we as parents begin dehumanizing coaches and say things
about them or in posts or on facebook pages that damage there character
and integrity. When will we stop taking decisions personally and start
being supportive above all else. The real kicker here is that most kids just
want to play, the parents are the ones who throw a wrench into things.
Back in the day, you did what was asked and the coach or teacher or
administrator was considered in charge and if you didn't like what you saw
you would have your kid talk to the coach, and if that wasn't satisfactory
and you thought is was worth emabarassing your kid over then you would
go to the coach. To take your ball and go home because you think you are
wronged or try to damage someones character because you think you have
been wronged is not the lesson you want to teach your children. There is
no entitlement in this world, it is what you earn and we should be held
accountable to that. Getting back to the original post, if a player is recruited
as a pitcher and she goes out and gets shelled each time out should she
continue to get the same opportunities as the one who is not getting shelled.
I think as coaches, they all want kids to be happy where they are playing,
but to say someone promised a spot and then backed out on a promise after
that player played that position for 16 straight games and then the first time
they were moved the parent pulls the kid from a semifinal game that the kid
could have played in and helped the team. Give me a break, there was no trust bond broken here, only a poor decision made by an upset parent. Coaches in general want to be fair and do the right things by there players no
matter what sport we are talking about. If our sons or daughters are asked
to be a bench player or whether they are asked to be the number one pitcher
and clean up batter, they need to do what is asked and be about the team
and that is it!!!!!!!

That's what I'm talking about!!! Play for the name on the front of your jersey, not the name on the back.

 

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I had to go back to my original post to remember what I wrote because it seems some things were taken wrong. I never said that anyone was promised playing time. I did say that this particular girl was the only one at that position because of other injuries on the team. I also said that she was one of the best players on the team. I posted out of frustration because I don't understand why people do this when there is no apparent good reason. I also believe I said that some of my statement is assumed, since of course, this was also second-hand news. Our coach was straight up at tryouts telling us what kind of tournaments that we would play in and why. We almost didn't play for this organization because they weren't going to showcase tournaments. I'm glad we stayed. Our team struggles every tournament. Some games they are on fire, a lot of games they have issues. My daughter loves her teammates and even if she would want to change teams, not winning is not a good enough reason. I do believe there are reasons to change teams, but IMHO, don't see those reasons on this team. No disrespect, no lying, no other harmful attitudes.

After this weekend, we played about the same. My DD came back from her injury for a few innings, other girls stepped up to cover this position that we lost and we found some great fill-in players. I'm looking forward to the rest of our season and will be sad that my DD has to move up to 18U and leave this great group of girls behind her. I'm so glad that she found these friends.

 

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That's what I'm talking about!!! Play for the name on the front of your jersey, not the name on the back.

Well put.

 

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dave crimson --paragraphs are your friend , use them. MD

 

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Sorry MD If my paragraph was not up to your standards. I thought this
was a softball forum not english class. But I will do better next time.
By the way it is crismon not crimson.