high school fastpitch 3

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WOW. first year of softball(freshman). i've been around it for a number of years. but now i really see the drama and politics. can make a reality show out of what goes on from day to day. can't wait till the seasons over.

 

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Dennis ... so you have started 3 threads now about high school fastpitch just a week and a half into tryouts/practice ... all seemingly "complaining" about something ... timing of selections, timed running and now this very vague one re: "drama and politics". I hope for the sake of your daughter that her high school coaches aren't reading all of this here, and/or hearing about this in person from you or her. Perhaps you just like to stir up conversation on this site, who knows?

There have been many threads over the years about the pros and cons of high school ball. I personally think there are way more pros than cons though I recognize much depends on the individual programs. But the one piece of advice everyone seems to offer to parents is just to sit back and take it for what it is, and let your daughter enjoy the positives of the experience. Yes, there will be negatives as well, but that's the way life is ... you have to take the bad with the good. I know that it's tough to let go when your kids go off to high school and college ... I've done it 4 times myself ... but the parent letting go is part of your child's maturation process.

Try to relax.

 

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OFC has been boring of late... don't stop Dennis' efforts to help us get the popcorn out.

 

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Just because a person's daughter wants to play doesn't mean she "can" play the game. The word used earlier "reality" hits home like a big hammer if you fail to accept where your child contributes to the team effort and where you believe she should be. Complaining almost always makes the trip up the ladder much harder and normally rubs off on your daughter giving her an attitude of expectations she believes she deserves. We all know that player. None of us want her on the roster. Life lessons shouldn't always be expectations. Today's society would be better off if people could see themselves thru other's eyes.

 

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Continuing with Coachjwb's and Dabosses' thoughts - What can you do about it, really? It doesn't matter if it's the greatest or worst program in the district, It's out of your control. That's why we're called "spectators".

 

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I truly believe that if a kid wants it bad enough and works hard enough to become the best at her position, she will be rewarded in the end. Of course the politics & drama are there and always will be, but true dedication and talent shines through. Dennis, I feel your frustration but in High School the kids have to work it out and succeed on their own. These experiences, good and bad are what builds a strong adult. Chill, and try not to wish the season away because it will be over before you know it and then you will miss it!

 

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DD's new coach laid it out best I've heard at the Parent Meeting this weekend when discussing"Parent Expectations":

(paraphrased) ..."you are to be a fan and encourage your DD. That is it....I promise you, your DD's are getting very good instruction from our coaching staff, and you should not be coaching them before, during or after the games or trying to correct things at home that go against what we are teaching them, because the reality is, most of what you will tell them is wrong, and makes it harder on you DD to learn...The quickest way for your DD to be pulled from the game is for you to coach her from the stands. Doesn't matter if it's bottom 7th, 2 outs, 0-2, if I instruct them on something, and they look at me and then to you in the stands it'll be 'Time, Blue...You, out. Someone else will finish this at bat'...Don't ask about playing time. That is between your DD and me. Because it will probably go something like this 'you:Why isn't my DD playing more?, me:Because I am putting the best team on the field that gives us a chance to win'...No discussions about any player other than your DD. Period...if they make any mistakes they are being coached, it's not your job to remind them after the game or question what happened, that is my job, and it will have already been addressed before you even see them. You just need to encourage them, and be their biggest fan, be Ump Friendly, Other Team Friendly and Other Team Fan Friendly....If there is any yelling, questioning of calls or rules that needs to take place, it is my place to do it, not yours. If it is ever an issue, we will talk about it directly after the game".

Happy, drama-free parents already 'get this', and make the best fans and supporters, but others need to be coached on how to be good sports parents, which is not a bad thing. Everyone learns.....so, if you're seeing drama and politics before your DD has even played her first HS game, you may want to consider yourself first....for your DD's sake, not yours.

 

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i really don't have any complaints. thread 3 is just an observation(girls quitting...parents upset dd didn't make varsity). even the a.d. is getting involved. just kidding about season being over. the new coach we have will be outstanding. threade 1 and 2 just pertain to practicing and the pro's and con's. i may not agree with some things. but i'm not rocking the boat.

 

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i may not agree with some things. but i'm not rocking the boat.

Now that's funny. :lmao:

 

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DD's new coach laid it out best I've heard at the Parent Meeting this weekend when discussing"Parent Expectations":

(paraphrased) ..."you are to be a fan and encourage your DD. That is it....I promise you, your DD's are getting very good instruction from our coaching staff, and you should not be coaching them before, during or after the games or trying to correct things at home that go against what we are teaching them, because the reality is, most of what you will tell them is wrong, and makes it harder on you DD to learn...The quickest way for your DD to be pulled from the game is for you to coach her from the stands. Doesn't matter if it's bottom 7th, 2 outs, 0-2, if I instruct them on something, and they look at me and then to you in the stands it'll be 'Time, Blue...You, out. Someone else will finish this at bat'...Don't ask about playing time. That is between your DD and me. Because it will probably go something like this 'you:Why isn't my DD playing more?, me:Because I am putting the best team on the field that gives us a chance to win'...No discussions about any player other than your DD. Period...if they make any mistakes they are being coached, it's not your job to remind them after the game or question what happened, that is my job, and it will have already been addressed before you even see them. You just need to encourage them, and be their biggest fan, be Ump Friendly, Other Team Friendly and Other Team Fan Friendly....If there is any yelling, questioning of calls or rules that needs to take place, it is my place to do it, not yours. If it is ever an issue, we will talk about it directly after the game".

BradWire, that is an excellent philosophy. If my daughter's coach would have said that, I would stand up and cheer... IF my daughter's coach demonstrated any inkling of a clue that she knew what she was doing! Some of us are subjected to a coach whose instruction consists of Coaching 3rd base and saying to every batter "C'mon sweetie - get a hit"... It's people like this who make me shiver when they tell me not to mess up what they're teaching.

 

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I hear that Women's golf offers some nice college scholarships. Less politics, more of an individual sport. Just a thought
Team Sports | G4 Athlete

 

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VikingSix, you are absolutely correct about golf.

I made my statement not as anyone affected by current situations. (My daughter was never deprived of playing time in HS, and played in college.) It was a general comment about the state of some high school programs I've seen over the years.

 

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BradWire ... love that speech from your new coach! Just copied and pasted it and sent to a few of my high school coaching friends!

 

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BradWire ... love that speech from your new coach! Just copied and pasted it and sent to a few of my high school coaching friends!

Send it to us all Jeff! I copied and pasted to my screen saver because I am a big proponent of this philosophy as a coach and its biggest offender as a parent. Sometimes its hard to pass the torch and I have to remind myself daily that my daughter is in capable and competent hands and her coaches are there for her growth and want her to succeed as much as I. Great Post Brad - Thank You

 

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Bill ... thanks ... while there probably would be more good than bad of this same philosophy in travel ball, I don't think you can totally apply it either, especially at the younger ages where the girls can't really be expected to have those kinds of conversations with their coach. Since this thread is about high school ball, I don't want to derail it too much, but I do think that there are some philosophies travel ball coaches can take from this (e.g., no coaching from the stands during games) and that ideally these should be communicated to and signed off by the parents before someone joins a travel team.

 

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(paraphrased) ..."you are to be a fan and encourage your DD. That is it....
Good - better is to encourage and root for everyone on the team.

I promise you, your DD's are getting very good instruction from our coaching staff, and you should not be coaching them before, during or after the games or trying to correct things at home that go against what we are teaching them, because the reality is, most of what you will tell them is wrong, and makes it harder on you DD to learn...
Obviously not always true - in those cases players need to either go along with it for the season, disregard it without making it obvious or risk being benched.

The quickest way for your DD to be pulled from the game is for you to coach her from the stands. Doesn't matter if it's bottom 7th, 2 outs, 0-2, if I instruct them on something, and they look at me and then to you in the stands it'll be 'Time, Blue...You, out. Someone else will finish this at bat'...Don't ask about playing time. That is between your DD and me. Because it will probably go something like this 'you:Why isn't my DD playing more?, me:Because I am putting the best team on the field that gives us a chance to win'...No discussions about any player other than your DD. Period...if they make any mistakes they are being coached, it's not your job to remind them after the game or question what happened, that is my job, and it will have already been addressed before you even see them. You just need to encourage them, and be their biggest fan, be Ump Friendly, Other Team Friendly and Other Team Fan Friendly....If there is any yelling, questioning of calls or rules that needs to take place, it is my place to do it, not yours. If it is ever an issue, we will talk about it directly after the game".
These are all good guidelines for HS and 14U+ travel ball, although I prefer to have a 24+ hour "cooling off period" after games for both the coach and the parents.

Good coaches will have guidelines and/or rules such as these. Thanks for sharing them.