managers daughter gets free ride?

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I have a friend that is playing their first year on a travel team and they have come me to me with concerns. Their wondering if anyone else is experiencing this or has seen this happen on other teams and what to do about it?

here is the scenario: All girls have tryout for the team and if they are not good enough they are not offered a spot BUT for some reason the managers daughter gets a free ride or spot on the team beacause daddy is the manager and wants her to get playing time... according to the friend the managers daughter is not a very good player and never had to try out.

Team first? or daughter first?
Fair? or not fair? What do you do if this happens to you and the team your daughter plays on? Is this what is referred to "daddy ball" ? I told my friend 1st- welcome to travel ball and 2nd in my opinion, you pay XXX$$$$ to be on a travel team with hi expectations and expecting fair treatment and great coaching and leadership but in that case, i dont think it is fair.... but i want to know what OFC thinks; is this fair and does anyone have any reccomendations for her? does this make the manager look bad and would you play for this team?

thanks~

 

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First - the guy probably isn't coaching a team if his daughter isn't on it.
Second - If it doesn't fit your expectations then you have the freedom to move on.
I say if the person is already bitching about it, tell them to move on. they are going to do nothing but create problems for this team.

BTW, if you get on a travel team and expect fair treatment go back to rec ball.

 

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First - the guy probably isn't coaching a team if his daughter isn't on it.
Second - If it doesn't fit your expectations then you have the freedom to move on.
I say if the person is already bitching about it, tell them to move on. they are going to do nothing but create problems for this team.

BTW, if you get on a travel team and expect fair treatment go back to rec ball.

A bit harsh, but, true none the less.

Yes, that sounds like daddy ball. Yes it does exist, and yes, it will get worse. Let me know how your friend feels when the little princess makes 3 huge errors at SS in an elimination game against a team you should clearly beat.

If dealing with this type of situation throughout the summer is not apealing to your friend, tell them to find another team. One without a parent Coach. Some do exist!

 

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A bit harsh, but, true none the less.

Yes, that sounds like daddy ball. Yes it does exist, and yes, it will get worse. Let me know how your friend feels when the little princess makes 3 huge errors at SS in an elimination game against a team you should clearly beat.

If dealing with this type of situation throughout the summer is not apealing to your friend, tell them to find another team. One without a parent Coach. Some do exist!

I didn't mean to come off as harsh, I like straight to the point.

 

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You nailed it Jdcii, harsh or not........if they are already bitching now in December, it's going to be a long season for that team. Tell them to be careful about causing too much trouble in their first year playing travel, they could get a bad name and coaches do talk. If they are truely unhappy and forsee some major problems, best to just leave and find another team instead of really causing a big stink.

 

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Your friend is setting themselves up to be the problem. Leave for something that's fair.........or they believe is more fair and good luck.

There are teams out there with coaches that have no emotional attachment or blood relatives playing on the team. I am one of those coaches. However, most organizations that have independent coaching staffs are hard to find. Some are with programs that the young lady may not be at a level of skill that would get her any interest and some may be very expensive to participate with. There are organizations out there "paying" the coaching staff and that money is over and above the normal fees that every organization will incur.

Perhaps your friend should start their own team so they can have their way but wait, that would mean her parent/parents would be the coach and she’d be the one being judged by others as to whether she’s worthy of her time on the field.

I’m sorry for being blunt but there are some realities here that you must know. While you want a travel team to be professional the fact is they are not professionals. Some staffs have travel ball experience which should give them the edge. Others take a chance and start their own teams and the staff will grow with the players and the parents throughout the experience. Hopefully everyone comes out the other end better from their time together.

While I don’t agree that a parent should form a team for the soul purpose of giving his own daughter a chance to play, I know that most volunteers in our sport come from some connection to the game that’s closer to their heart than knowing it’s a virtuous thing to do. Remember; when your friend is believing that their money and time is enough reason to complain, the coach is giving far more to the cause and still has to listen to your complaints. Walk a mile in their shoes before judging them for being so wrong.

 

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I will tell you that 100% of the time I have either coached a team or helped coach on it because my child plays on it. Basically if it is a team I have created I started it BECAUSE I wanted a team for them to be on. Simple as that. And if I did start or coach that team my child has already made the team, by default.

I have coached on teams and made it clear that IF my daughter makes the team I'll coach but I don't want to be a coach and she makes it because of that. However if I am the head coach guess what? That's right, she's on the team.

 

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Most teams do have parent coaches and, as someone said above, parents are usually not going to coach a team if their child isn't on it. I define "daddy ball" when the child gets undue favoritism when games actually begin ... more playing time, preferential positions, higher in the batter order , etc., than their talent would actually merit. Travel ball parents need to do their homework to understand before they accept a roster spot whether the coach has a child playing, and ideally even get a chance to see the coach's child in action to see if there might be an issue with talent. Many times the coach's child is one of the best on the team, and some other parents will still whine the first time the child strikes out or makes an error. As others have said above, if you're going to be one of those parents, then go find a team that doesn't have parent coaches ... the number of such teams is growing.

Personally, I think the concept of "daddy ball" is about 20% reality and 80% just perception. By that I mean, about 80% of the time it's not really daddy ball, it's just that the other parents think their own child is better than the coaches' child and/or other players, and will use every excuse in the book to rationalize why their child is playing less (i.e., daddy ball, politics, coaches who don't know talent, etc.). My daughter and I co-head coached a team last year where we had no relatives playing and where we played everyone, but played them in direct correlation to their statistical performance. Yet we heard all year from some parents how we favored some of our assistant coaches' daughters, while the assistant coaches complained even louder that we weren't giving their daughters enough playing time. As big of a help as the assistant coaches were, I have decided that I will never do that again. This year, the team we're helping coach has 3 non-parent coaches and so far, so good.

 

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Ask your friend if when push comes to shove is the best 9 on the field or is the best 5 and 4 ok players on the field. This will tell them whether they are paying $$$$$ for a travel team offering great coaching or are they payig $$$$ to be on a rec- team. I can say I have a daughter on the field on our team, and like any player they have their off days, those are the days when my daughter will sit and the better player will play. But if your friend is already having concerns they may want to look elswhere.

 

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Coach jwb and DaBoss sum it up pretty well...

Although situations like this does exist they are a very small percentage of the playing population mainly because these coaches and or teams do not stand the test of time...

 

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Just out of curiousity... what age group...

Also... how does your friend know that the coach's daughter did not attend tryouts... most organizations have multiple tryouts... Most organization do not require the players to attend ALL tryouts... perhaps the coach's daughter attended an early tryout (or a later tryout)...

Just throwing it out there...

 

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Daddy ball isn't when a coaches kid is the 10-12th player on the team. Daddy ball is when coaches kid is the 10-12th best player and is the starting SS hitting at the top of the order.

Complaining because the coaches kid didn't tryout is petty. To me your friends sound like "text book" problem parents. The first thing these parents do is zero in the coaches DD. They don't stop there, it's just stage 1 of pain in the a** parents. I've seen them as a parent and a coach. They can make a summer miserable.

 

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I agree with coachjwb that there is seldom true "daddy ball" taking place, it is mostly parents rose colored glasses that cause the issues.

I think many folks need to remember that travel-ball is nothing more than a conduit to the next level. As you travel through this conduit there are going to be many levels of skill, desire, dedication etc...

The main purpose I see for travel-ball at the 14u and below ages is development, the coaches need to make these players into better players. After all, isn't that what a coach does, takes raw talent and develops and refines it?! Sure a weaker player may get more innings during pool play or during the winter, but what matters is who is on the field during elimination.

My DD hates when I coach, she knows darn well I expect her best 100% of the time and I have no problem letting her know when I am not seeing it. I think many parents also don't understand that there are two sides to the game and sometimes there are trade-offs (weaker hitter/better defender, etc..) that coaches have to make.

 

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Daddy ball isn't when a coaches kid is the 10-12th player on the team. Daddy ball is when coaches kid is the 10-12th best player and is the starting SS hitting at the top of the order.

Complaining because the coaches kid didn't tryout is petty. To me your friends sound like "text book" problem parents. The first thing these parents do is zero in the coaches DD. They don't stop there, it's just stage 1 of pain in the a** parents. I've seen them as a parent and a coach. They can make a summer miserable.

Well said Uber! Such a parent will most definately be a cancer to the team next summer if theyre already whining about the coaches daughter in December.

 

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So DanMaz ... you've got some very different responses to your post ... some agreeing it's Daddy ball, and some saying your friends are problem parents. It's been a good topic to debate. Of course, there's no way for us to really know here whether this situation falls into what I suggest is the issue 20% of the time (true daddy ball). So the question is ... what will you tell them? I'm guessing you'll stand up for your friends, but maybe you'd be an even better friend to them if you let them read this whole thread?

 

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So DanMaz ... you've got some very different responses to your post ... some agreeing it's Daddy ball, and some saying your friends are problem parents. It's been a good topic to debate. Of course, there's no way for us to really know here whether this situation falls into what I suggest is the issue 20% of the time (true daddy ball). So the question is ... what will you tell them? I'm guessing you'll stand up for your friends, but maybe you'd be an even better friend to them if you let them read this whole thread?

Thanks for all the input from everyone! I think having her read this thread will be my suggestion and hopefully their family can make a good decision for themselves... and none of us really know the true in's and out's of the team, coach and DD involved so it's a tuff one but great subject to debate. That is why my first thing said back to them was "welcome to travel ball!"

Happy New Year to all! Stay safe!

 

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I agree with Uber and The3dm have posted. There are pro's and con's to having parent/non-parent coached teams. I have seen both work very well. The bottom line is it's only December and if the parents are already complaining they need to leave the team. Nothing good will come from this situation for the team, coaches, player(s) or parents if they choose to stay. Since the parents are new to travel perhaps going to another team will give them some much needed prospective. However, the grass is rarely greener on the other side.

 

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I want to know how many of these teams don't make the coaches kid pay any fees ? I coach and I feel quilty that I'm not paying for my own shirt ! My daughters fees are the same as every other player on the team . I might be in the minority here , but I made my Daughter attend every try out , if for no other reason I like to use her to compare against the new girls and to show the new parents she belongs ! My dd is not the pitcher or ss , she fights to play 2nd base !

 

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Daddy ball does exist- We all know what it is.

I agree with the rest, if you as a parent already have issues and feel the need to have these issues aired on the OFC, its time to move on and find a new team. Not saying that the daddy ball issues are not a BIG concern just saying that it is better for all involved (you, your daughter, the team) if you just move on. I don't think talking to the coach will do any good and more than likely, things will not change.

It's hard to know these things going into a team...you just cannot assume that because the coach has a kid on the team that its daddy ball, because that is not always the case. More often than not, those kids are forced to bust their butts so that their playing time isn't questioned.

JMHO

 

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I want to know how many of these teams don't make the coaches kid pay any fees ?

I know several organizations that pay their coaches a "coaches stipend" (whether the coaches happen to be parents or not). and do not PM me asking which orgs. they are- not going there.

I think i recall hearing that one org. paid their coaches $1500 for the season but those coaches are expected to do other things besides coaching to help the org. I beleive that this money could be used for anything such as hotel costs, gas money, etc. I recall a friend telling me that this is all broken down and is listed as part of what the team's fees cover. So if an org. charges $700 per kid and the kid's parent is a Coach, i'm assuming that the Coach would then get paid $800 in Coaching fees (left pocket - right pocket)