managers daughter gets free ride?

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All these problems could be fixed. Travel teams should all be non-parent coaching....period.

If that was the case you would eliminate 98% of the teams..

Very few select teams regardless of the sport or gender have no parent team involvement in coaching or management.

 

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All these problems could be fixed. Travel teams should all be non-parent coaching....period.

If that was the case you would eliminate 98% of the teams..

Very few select teams regardless of the sport or gender have no parent team involvement in coaching or management.

But... Dennis... if the 2% remain, they will all be stud gold and premier teams... geesh

 

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just to clear this up a little - nobody said they are "bitching" they are new to TB and simply asking for advise from more experienced family's, coaches and thats why i thought putting it up on OFC would be a good idea to see what others have seen or gone thru over the years...

OFC'ers - sorry if my original post came across that this family is "bitching" because that is not how I wanted it to come across and i i dont think they are "bitching" yet.. lol This is a New TB family asking for advise is all....
I know this is a very touchy subject and I always hear about "cancer" but i dont think asking questions means you are problem parents, bitching or cancer parents... Thanks for all the input everyone!!! I am sure they will get some good information after reading all this.

Let's be clear, this is how it starts. Parents that have never played travel come on board. They begin to "ask questions" to other parents and those other parents also tend to be newbie travel parents. Long story short, you have a mess on your hands.
We have already passed the "just asking questions" and have moved into being critical of the coache's decisions and his daugthers playing time. I'm guessing they have remarked about it openly with other parents on the team. Thus, creating the beginnings of a mass mentality that will ultimately become the demise of the team. In short, they have planted the seed into other parents heads.
Now, let's address the girl that isn't getting the playing time... She is fortunate that it is the offseason and has 3 to 4 months before the season kicks in. Put in the extra work, not knowing the girls position, there is a ton of stuff she can do inside if nothing more than core strengthing or have her mom and dad do whiteboard sessions with her and improve her game knowledge. All she can do is go above and beyond of what is expected, play out the season and see if she gets a fair shake. If not, tryouts are in August.

 

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Daddy ball isn't when a coaches kid is the 10-12th player on the team. Daddy ball is when coaches kid is the 10-12th best player and is the starting SS hitting at the top of the order.

Complaining because the coaches kid didn't tryout is petty. To me your friends sound like "text book" problem parents. The first thing these parents do is zero in the coaches DD. They don't stop there, it's just stage 1 of pain in the a** parents. I've seen them as a parent and a coach. They can make a summer miserable.

I agree 100%. Most experienced coaches catch a whiff of a family like this and we just roll our eyes knowing it'll be a long season with another family ruining the summer for everyone else.

 

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But... Dennis... if the 2% remain, they will all be stud gold and premier teams... geesh

And move up one spot in Nationals!;&

 

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I want to know how many of these teams don't make the coaches kid pay any fees ? I coach and I feel quilty that I'm not paying for my own shirt ! My daughters fees are the same as every other player on the team . I might be in the minority here , but I made my Daughter attend every try out , if for no other reason I like to use her to compare against the new girls and to show the new parents she belongs ! My dd is not the pitcher or ss , she fights to play 2nd base !

I have always paid my share of the fees and until the organization I'm with now, I've always paid for my coaching shirts. I make a small donation to the general fund just the same. I can afford this so I'm fine with doing it. I always ask the organization director to put any extra money from me towards the hidden expenses or towards a girl's fee if the family is struggling. I'm not in this for me-----it's to help the kids. When I become a burden to the organization monetary or otherwise, I'll quit.

Great to hear others seem to feel the same way.

However, I do agree with a coach/parent getting a discount fee for their family and believe it's fine that coaches expenses like a motel room for them be paid for out of the kitty. They are sacrificing enough.

 

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One thing I should Point out is, my kids have played for coaches with no kids. No kids on the team and none of their own in "real" life. That's not always great either one thing most coaches who have their kids on the team have is experience and in some cases patience to deal with kids that age. There are obviously great coaches without kids of their own and lousy coaches with kids...but I have noticed a lack of kid experience can be a detriment to successfully coaching kids.

I agree 100% Uber and will got a little farther with this point of interest. Many of the coaching seminars and clinics held by the most respected names in our sport (NFCC) will include time to review how to coach girls and the differences needed from coaching boys. I firmly believe that some parental experience with girls would go a long way towards a male coach understanding the differences and adjusting. Most men don't know women and I say this with all due respect.

Years ago, I was attending a graduation open house for a former female player. While visiting with her dad, a former teammate of mine and long time friend, I ask him what he's learned from the parenting experience. He looked me in the eye with the most serious look I've ever seen him display and responded " If back in the day I had known everything I know now about women, I would have treated my wife a lot better over the years. Hell, I'd have treated every woman I've ever known including my mom different."

I've never forgot these words of wisdom.

 

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or have her mom and dad do whiteboard sessions with her and improve her game knowledge.

Who teaches the parents game knowledge so they can pass it along to the girls.....just asking?

 

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Who teaches the parents game knowledge so they can pass it along to the girls.....just asking?

One too many assumptions on my part. lol

 

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I am one of those coaches who only starting coaching to coach my daughter. I have head coached rec for a few years now and just got into travel this year as a parent, but have been asked to help coach my daughter's 10U travel team.
She knows she must earn everything she gets and that I do not play favorites. It happens that she is as good a player as we have, so noone questions it much. If they did I'd explain how she is not pitching or catching, like she could be, because we do not have another 3rd baseman. Meaning she is taking one for the team as a whole, even though she is capable of being a #1 pitcher or catcher on most teams. Once we fill in a few more holes, then she'll play a different roll.
My point is, not all daddy coaches are so short sited for the team goals and if you have such a coach, then I'd probably move on if you cannot work it out. I have seen this first hand and it kills team chemistry like nothing else.
By the way, after coaching my daughter, I could see a time when I'd coach another team once my daughter is done. I get as much out of the experience with all the kid's as I do with my daughter. I love watching them all develop and compete for each other. I truly want them all to be successful and have great experiences.

 

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But who do you play when your dd isn't the best player?

 

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Who teaches the parents game knowledge so they can pass it along to the girls.....just asking?

Most parent coaches like myself have several years of rec and a few assisting in travel ball in combination to countless coaches clinic, conventions etc. to further there knowledge of the game to be able to teach the girls. Another out of pocket expense we take on.

 

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But who do you play when your dd isn't the best player?

I play the best player at a given position...period. If my daughter is not the better player, she must share time there or at another position. In this case we have 2 other pitchers, her main position, but she is not our #1. I am not the head coach of the travel team, but even if I was she'd have to beat out our #1 or share time. She is a great team player and does whatever needed with a smile. She works hard and knows she'll get her chance as long as she stays positive and works.....as do all my players.

In rec, she is the best player on the team, but in travel we have a very solid team that pushes her. She goes from not being able to even play catch full speed in rec to having several kid's that throw as hard or harder. She loves the competetion.

As a coach you have to think team first or they'll see right through you. Kid's are not stupid and will not respect you if you do not respect them.

 

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I did not see the age group for this team, but at 14U or younger I would play out the summer. They can look for a new team in August if they are unhappy. The team should always come first ahead of any one player, though. My dd has played for both parent and non-parent head coaches over 8 years of travel ball. In both cases, my husband was asked to be an assistant coach so he was still always one of her coaches. She chose a team with no parent coaches at all for her final year and she said "dad can't go to college with me". There would hardly be any teams in OH if all of the coaches and assistants could not have a dd on the team.

 

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One too many assumptions on my part. lol

lol, I think you were right, most parents know everything that needs to be known about softball......now if we just get these coaches educated everything would be great.

 

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Here is my .02 cents (and that is all it is worth... ;-) )...

I coach a travel select team in southwest ohio and I *abhor* daddy-ball and it is the reason I got into coaching. Yes, my daughter gets a free pass on making the team, but not in playing time. If I had to stack rank my roster my daughter is 10 of 12. Last year she was 11 of 12 and her at-bats and playing time reflected it. I have lost players (and parents) because I run a performance based team with very detailed stats, but I sleep well at night knowing that I am doing things as fairly as I can. I make it clear that I am here to develop ballplayers and win ball games, not to balance playing time.

 

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So, did said friend heed advice & leave well enough alone? Did the manager catch wind and dispose of said player? or Did they create a stir amongst other parents? Was there a mutiny amongst the troops?

 

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In most cases if daddy doesn't coach there is not a team at the younger ages. If daddy coaches then daughter is on the team - no tryout necessary. That is 1/12 of the roster spots. Why is this hard to understand?

I remember hearing Al Maguire answer the following question...

Q - Al, why do you start your son when there are other guards that are just as good.

A.M. - He is my son. They all would have to be BETTER than him if they want to play in front of him.

Again - the daddy ball thing is funny because it is always said by those with kids not playing as much as the family thinks they should be. What do we call daddy's who over estimate their daughters abilities and then complain that she isn't getting the same dirt time as the coaches kid?

 

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Again - the daddy ball thing is funny because it is always said by those with kids not playing as much as the family thinks they should be. What do we call daddy's who over estimate their daughters abilities and then complain that she isn't getting the same dirt time as the coaches kid?

The answer to your question is future "new team looking for players" poster.

 

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Interesting discussions...just getting in on the tail-end of this. I am a parent coach for my select travel team, but I tend to give my DD less slack than my other players. I do this because I don't want anyone to have the perception that I am coaching just to benefit my daughter. She does not get special treatment (she'll tell you first-hand) and I honestly have not had one parent come to me and say that she gets a free ride. She has to earn her spot like anyone else on the team.

I have seen situations that are quite the opposite and most of the time, it results in players leaving. You have to put your best 9 on the field and if it's not the DD, then so be it. Not trying to sound harsh, but it will not win games and it will send parents and players elsewhere...